drunkonsmut
Fandoms
- Hannibal (TV) (29)
- Our Flag Means Death (TV) (2)
Recent works
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Summary
Izzy reflects on life and his not-so-secret admirer before making his move.
Roach is there too, cheering from the sidelines.
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Made for Izzy Hands Bingo 2025 -
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Summary
Stede gets on a spot of trouble while on a raid and Izzy gets the opportunity of show off a bit to rescue his new love.
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Staying late at the office again with Dr. Chilton.
Series
- Part 24 of The Doctor and the Professor
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Freddie Lounds visits Dr. Chilton while he recuperates at the hospital .
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You catch Frederick indulging in his...admiration of you. Lucky for him, you don't mind.
Series
- Part 9 of The Doctor and the Professor
Recent series
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Summary
Each story in the series can be read as self-standing, they're merely connected by details.
- Words:
- 93,175
- Works:
- 27
- Bookmarks:
- 42
Recent bookmarks
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Summary
Hot on the heels of some major life changes, Stede Bonnet is ready to stand up for himself and tell his parents once and for all who he really is. When they invite him to spend a month with them at a ski resort, he's going to do just that, but stumbles when they pressure him to date a family friend.
Izzy Hands just wanted a peaceful vacation over Christmas, but when his ex-boyfriend shows up with a new beau, the heat is on to show him just how happy he is without him. And on top of that, some blond twat is getting in the way of his good time, breaking his things and causing a ruckus.
The solution is for Stede and Izzy to tell everyone they're in a happy relationship, even though in reality they don't even like each other. Obviously.
Bookmarked by drunkonsmut
05 Jan 2026
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Summary
“You,” he can’t help blurting. “You’re Izzy Hands, aren’t you.”
The man pauses in the doorway, casting a cursory glance back over his shoulder.
“That’s Mister Hands to you.”
Then he’s gone.
The story of the life of Steak Knife, which is inextricably interwoven with the life of Izzy Hands.
Canon divergent from S2E7.
Bookmarked by drunkonsmut
31 Dec 2025
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Summary
For the wonderful Sam, who gave the prompt "Ed chooses Izzy over Stede in some way. Established-married-for-30-years-Edizzy PLEAAAASE."
This story grew a bit of a life of its own, but I hope it fits the bill!
A post-S1 vibes canon-divergent pre-steddyhands/steddyhands getting together fic, in which Stede and Izzy are kidnapped by a gang of hapless thugs and the rest of the crew, led by Blackbeard himself, have to rescue them.
Featuring cameos from as many of the roles that Con O'Neill has blessed us with as I could fit into one fic, secret 30 year EdIzzy marriage, sword fights, escape plans, a bit of gratuitous voyeurism, and Stede discovering some new things about himself.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 19,206
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Collections:
- 1
- Comments:
- 27
- Kudos:
- 75
- Bookmarks:
- 13
- Hits:
- 479
Bookmarked by drunkonsmut
28 Dec 2025
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Summary
Izzy has spent the last decade on a small island in the middle of nowhere with only a dog for company. One day, an old friend comes to call.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 5,635
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Collections:
- 3
- Comments:
- 12
- Kudos:
- 37
- Bookmarks:
- 6
- Hits:
- 115
Bookmarked by drunkonsmut
08 Dec 2025
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Summary
When one left their wife and declared that they were gay, certain expectations tended to follow. Expectations that said person would get a boyfriend rather than show up to every party alone, for example.
So Stede had fibbed a little. For the last two months, he’d had an extremely handsome and kind boyfriend who was also extremely busy. The lie worked well, until he ran into Mary in the grocery store and accidentally said he was shopping with his boyfriend. Stede grabbed the first guy he saw by his leather-clad arm.
“I’ll buy your groceries for a month if you pretend to be my boyfriend,” Stede whispered in the guy's ear. He hauled the guy around to face Mary and Doug.
“What the fu—“ Grocery Store Guy started to say, but Stede stomped on his foot to shut him up.
(In which Stede needs a fake boyfriend, and Izzy gets dragged into the chaos)
Bookmarked by drunkonsmut
10 Nov 2025