1 - 20 of 325 Bookmarks by drunkonsmut
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Hot on the heels of some major life changes, Stede Bonnet is ready to stand up for himself and tell his parents once and for all who he really is. When they invite him to spend a month with them at a ski resort, he's going to do just that, but stumbles when they pressure him to date a family friend.
Izzy Hands just wanted a peaceful vacation over Christmas, but when his ex-boyfriend shows up with a new beau, the heat is on to show him just how happy he is without him. And on top of that, some blond twat is getting in the way of his good time, breaking his things and causing a ruckus.
The solution is for Stede and Izzy to tell everyone they're in a happy relationship, even though in reality they don't even like each other. Obviously.
Bookmarked by drunkonsmut
05 Jan 2026
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“You,” he can’t help blurting. “You’re Izzy Hands, aren’t you.”
The man pauses in the doorway, casting a cursory glance back over his shoulder.
“That’s Mister Hands to you.”
Then he’s gone.
The story of the life of Steak Knife, which is inextricably interwoven with the life of Izzy Hands.
Canon divergent from S2E7.
Bookmarked by drunkonsmut
31 Dec 2025
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For the wonderful Sam, who gave the prompt "Ed chooses Izzy over Stede in some way. Established-married-for-30-years-Edizzy PLEAAAASE."
This story grew a bit of a life of its own, but I hope it fits the bill!
A post-S1 vibes canon-divergent pre-steddyhands/steddyhands getting together fic, in which Stede and Izzy are kidnapped by a gang of hapless thugs and the rest of the crew, led by Blackbeard himself, have to rescue them.
Featuring cameos from as many of the roles that Con O'Neill has blessed us with as I could fit into one fic, secret 30 year EdIzzy marriage, sword fights, escape plans, a bit of gratuitous voyeurism, and Stede discovering some new things about himself.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 19,206
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Collections:
- 1
- Comments:
- 28
- Kudos:
- 76
- Bookmarks:
- 13
- Hits:
- 483
Bookmarked by drunkonsmut
28 Dec 2025
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Izzy has spent the last decade on a small island in the middle of nowhere with only a dog for company. One day, an old friend comes to call.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 5,635
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Collections:
- 3
- Comments:
- 12
- Kudos:
- 37
- Bookmarks:
- 6
- Hits:
- 115
Bookmarked by drunkonsmut
08 Dec 2025
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When one left their wife and declared that they were gay, certain expectations tended to follow. Expectations that said person would get a boyfriend rather than show up to every party alone, for example.
So Stede had fibbed a little. For the last two months, he’d had an extremely handsome and kind boyfriend who was also extremely busy. The lie worked well, until he ran into Mary in the grocery store and accidentally said he was shopping with his boyfriend. Stede grabbed the first guy he saw by his leather-clad arm.
“I’ll buy your groceries for a month if you pretend to be my boyfriend,” Stede whispered in the guy's ear. He hauled the guy around to face Mary and Doug.
“What the fu—“ Grocery Store Guy started to say, but Stede stomped on his foot to shut him up.
(In which Stede needs a fake boyfriend, and Izzy gets dragged into the chaos)
Bookmarked by drunkonsmut
10 Nov 2025
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Izzy goes into heat unexpectedly on shoreleave--can Stede not only save him from the alphas who corner him, but from the pain and trauma that a long, hard life as an omega has drilled into him?
Series
- Part 1 of A Heart for Home
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 64,731
- Chapters:
- 18/18
- Comments:
- 440
- Kudos:
- 1,006
- Bookmarks:
- 178
- Hits:
- 27,504
Bookmarked by drunkonsmut
19 Oct 2025
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“Rhosynel,” he spoke without conscious choice, needing to apologise, needing to right what he’d wronged, needing to fix what he’d broken. “Forgive me, please.”
“There’s nothing to forgive,” she replied sharply. Too quickly. Not meeting his gaze. “Really, its fine. We battled, we survived, it’s a relief. I get it.”
A… Relief? The battle? They’d surviv—oh.
A sinking realisation settled in Boromir’s chest. Rhosynel thought he’d acted from adrenaline, that he’d forced himself on her from relief, as an outlet from the tension of battle. That wasn’t it. He’d not kissed her from some misguided sense of relief. He’d wanted to kiss her, and for a brief moment thought she did to.
Something cracked painfully behind Boromir’s ribcage.*
Boromir's POV of chapter 37. Aka Rhosynel and Boromir's first kiss during the aftermath of Helm's Deep. Contains spoilers for On Swift Wings.
Bookmarked by drunkonsmut
14 Oct 2025
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“The Fellowship is to set out in December,” Lord Elrond explained, “I require your services as a Messenger to travel with them, until you’ve passed the mountains, or until Gandalf sees fit to release you.”
Panic coiled in Rhosynel’s chest, as two things became apparent. Firstly, that she could easily end up roped into travelling further on the whims of a wizard. And secondly, that if word reached her employer that she point-blank refused Lord Elrond, she’d be kicked from the Messenger services.
In other words, Rhosynel was trapped.*
Working as a messenger Rhosynel is accustomed to travelling the length and breadth of Middle Earth, so carrying a missive to the village of Bree should have been easy. But this simple task sets off a chain of events, entangling her in the lives of strangers and the fate of Middle Earth, which leaves her fighting to keep both them, and herself, alive.
Updates mondays.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 632,702
- Chapters:
- 96/100
- Collections:
- 1
- Comments:
- 2,339
- Kudos:
- 1,394
- Bookmarks:
- 258
- Hits:
- 52,147
Bookmarked by drunkonsmut
12 Oct 2025
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When Izzy leaves after dueling Stede, Ed is happy that everyone is alive, but he feels unsettled without Izzy around. During their separation he falls ill and experiences a number of alternate realities where Izzy is someone else's first mate. And Ed doesn't like that at all.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 8,549
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Collections:
- 1
- Comments:
- 51
- Kudos:
- 253
- Bookmarks:
- 45
- Hits:
- 1,690
Bookmarked by drunkonsmut
09 Sep 2025
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when I see your light shine (I know I'm home) by yaz113
Fandoms: Our Flag Means Death (TV)
03 Nov 2025
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When their old group home shuts down, social worker Izzy Hands and former foster parent Stede Bonnet pretend to be a couple to keep three displaced teens together. It’s supposed to be temporary, but between court-mandated support groups, science experiments gone awry, and one very suspicious caseworker, pretending to be a family starts feeling a lot like becoming one.
Bookmarked by drunkonsmut
06 Sep 2025
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When Izzy and Stede first meet, it's with a literal bang: the sound of Stede's car ramming into Izzy's bumper in a classic parking lot fender bender. Things could have easily ended there, except Stede can't stop thinking about the irate guy in the black muscle car. And despite his best efforts, Izzy can't get the ridiculous man in the periwinkle blue hatchback out of his mind.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 16,554
- Chapters:
- 6/6
- Collections:
- 1
- Comments:
- 13
- Kudos:
- 74
- Bookmarks:
- 9
- Hits:
- 553
Bookmarked by drunkonsmut
05 Sep 2025
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First Light by cecillusive (doorwaytoparadise), FrankieOFMD
Fandoms: Our Flag Means Death (TV)
30 Jul 2025
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Izzy is an old, infamous vampire who hasn’t been seen in a century, new to the rural area of Kilfenora, Ireland. Stede is a Hunter, trying not to continue on his father’s legacy. When the Badminton’s decide they don’t like Stede’s way of working, or this new vampire hanging around, they cause big problems for everyone.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 59,328
- Chapters:
- 11/11
- Collections:
- 1
- Comments:
- 71
- Kudos:
- 56
- Bookmarks:
- 11
- Hits:
- 904
Bookmarked by drunkonsmut
11 Aug 2025
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Carving has always been an outlet for Izzy Hands, one he seldom shared with anyone.
Until now. Surrounded by a new crew, one that wants him, things can change.
He just must follow the grain.
Series
- Part 1 of The Carver
Bookmarked by drunkonsmut
21 May 2025
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Summary
“Izzy,” said Alma again, shifting in an utterly heart-stopping fashion on the tottering stool until she was seated, mercifully in the appropriate fashion. “Are you coming with us to see the eclipse?”
Izzy looked up, eyebrows raised. “Oh, was that today? Must not have put it on my calendar. Why, is it important?”
Alma favored him with a roll of the eyes. They were undeniably Stede's eyes. An angel or demon somewhere created Stede Bonnet and crafted him to be just beautiful enough to be a threat, just smart enough to be dangerous, and just virile enough to have two children with his eyes, nose and laugh. Sometimes Izzy was reminded of these things and knew that wherever that celestial being was, it’d spent the last two years laughing at the plight of one Israel Hands.The sun disappears from the sky, and Izzy Hands bears witness--but that's not the whole story, is it?
Bookmarked by drunkonsmut
18 May 2025
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Stede has returned, and he and Ed are enjoying all the bliss of their new-found desire. Izzy loves Edward enough to give up everything for his happiness, even if it means leaving him and all they have built over years as sworn partners in matelotage. But if a ship can have two captains, surely Edward can have two loves? Or what is piracy for?
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 19,783
- Chapters:
- 7/7
- Collections:
- 1
- Comments:
- 43
- Kudos:
- 184
- Bookmarks:
- 32
- Hits:
- 2,224
Bookmarked by drunkonsmut
09 Mar 2025
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- Words:
- 22,537
- Works:
- 2
- Bookmarks:
- 5
Bookmarked by drunkonsmut
07 Mar 2025
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- Words:
- 57,163
- Works:
- 5
- Bookmarks:
- 60
Bookmarked by drunkonsmut
05 Mar 2025
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- Words:
- 89,121
- Works:
- 2
- Bookmarks:
- 24
Bookmarked by drunkonsmut
19 Feb 2025
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You'll hear me howling outside your door by girlwithbook, Kende
Fandoms: Our Flag Means Death (TV)
28 Jul 2024
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Ed and Izzy have lived as a mated pair of werewolves for decades, living cautiously and on the outskirts, relying on one another only.
But when bodies start to turn up, their secret is dangerously close to getting out. They venture out to track down and fight back against the rogue pack of werewolves responsible, trying to reclaim their peace back. Only one wolf runs away from the fight; they find him hiding in the woods, terrified and desperate for help. What should Ed and Izzy do with him?- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 18,879
- Chapters:
- 8/8
- Collections:
- 1
- Comments:
- 18
- Kudos:
- 72
- Bookmarks:
- 14
- Hits:
- 821
Bookmarked by drunkonsmut
11 Feb 2025
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Summary
Betelgeuse has disappeared from Lydia’s life. That’s what she wanted, right?
Bookmarked by drunkonsmut
06 Feb 2025