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Recent works
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Quattro Frotaggi by augustaoctavia, offthemap for orolin
Fandoms: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
04 May 2026
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Summary
The wedding of Pansy Parkinson and Ron Weasley is going to be the event of the season: four days full of romantic, tasteful celebrations of love, all along the picturesque seaside cliffs of Italy. It has to go perfectly, and the wedding party needs to be on their best behaviour. No squabbling. No picking fights, no hateful sneers, no childish capers and arch-rival shenanigans. Harry knows this. Draco knows this. Theoretically.
Or: Harry and Draco are best men for Ron and Pansy, respectively. So, that's going about as well as one might expect.
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Their Shared Language by offthemap for So_scarlett_maroon
Fandoms: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
01 May 2026
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Gregory Goyle is the strong, silent type. He gets lonely sometimes, and he just wants to find someone who understands.
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A Most Firm and Unyielding Subpoena by offthemap for augustaoctavia
Fandoms: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
13 Apr 2026
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Hermione was under the (rather strong) impression that Draco didn't like her. But after three days stuck in a boring, stuffy courtroom and unexpected testimony, she found herself with many, many questions.
Questions like:
- Why were Roger Davies and Penelope Clearwater surveilling her interactions with Malfoy?
- If his crush was so cripplingly obvious, why didn't they just tell her?
- Why didn't MALFOY just tell her?
- Why did Kingsley have to subpoena Malfoy's diary for her to find out?
- And why, why, why was she listening to Percy Weasley read it all aloud in court?Or: Take the skit "Brian’s Hat" from I Think You Should Leave and make it Dramione
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Draco Malfoy had carefully avoided violence ever since he realised that the Black Family Madness lived in his bones. But after he kills a man, he is slowly succumbing. Violence, obsession, stalking... it's only getting worse.
It's just too bad for Hermione Granger that she was in the wrong place at the wrong time.
Plus, there's that marriage law.
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Draco Malfoy and Hermione Granger are campaign managers for two rival parties. They're also secretly together.
Recent bookmarks
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To Build a Bower by eveningstruggle for mightbewriting
Fandoms: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
15 Sep 2024
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Summary
She has a cat, the same ugly orange thing that she’d had at Hogwarts. She lives in a flat in Clapham Common, has a bird-feeder outside her kitchen window, and is engaged in a war of attrition with the squirrels who believe they are entitled to her Songbird’s Favourite Patio Mix. She wears glasses most days, but contact lenses when she has an important meeting. She loves hazelnut and is allergic to kiwi. She finds Ted’s golf stories tedious.
And now he can add to the Granger, Hermione entry that a piece of pale mint green glass, tossed and tumbled through a thousand ocean waves, is enough to make her stop at his desk and speak to him.
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or: Draco stumbles across a surprising way to get Hermione’s attention. -
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“Speaking of things that I wouldn’t ask of you if it weren’t vitally important to how we want to proceed with this investigation…” Harry trailed off, removing his glasses and pinching the bridge of his nose in a familiar gesture. After a long moment, he opened his eyes. “The house is a two bedroom,” he said, as if that explained anything.
Hermione just watched him, her pulse suddenly racing. Her subconscious was making a panicked sort of squawking parrot noise, having figured out something essential that her sleepless brain hadn’t yet come to grips with.
“Hermione,” Harry said. “Malfoy is going to the safe house, too.”
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The Art of Seduction: Kidnapping and Hypothermia by ChaosAndCrumpets
Fandoms: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
31 Dec 2021
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Hermione Granger's battered old Ford Fiesta is not built for snowstorms. It's a good thing there's a flannel-clad tractor driver to come to her rescue. Or is it?
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“One night,” she echoed. “At yours.”
He gave a small shrug. “Why not?”
She considered this, a hundred reasons flickering through her head which mostly ended with the same outcome—because she was Hermione Granger and he was Draco Malfoy.
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As if being assigned as Hermione’s Auror protection officer isn’t bad enough for Draco, it happening a few days after the two of them shared a one night stand might just tip him over the edge.
Even worse—when Hermione decides that she needs to start dating again, and seeing as he can’t leave her side he has to accompany her on every single one.
Series
- Part 1 of The Muffliato Rule
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“Stop staring at my tits,” she says, finally breaking their quiet.
Her voice is raspy after the hours of disuse. It tickles something inside Ron, but he isn’t sure if that tickle finds its way to his cock or his brain.
“I wasn’t staring—” he splutters.
“And why not?” she interrupts, “I’ve got great tits.”
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or: For some godforsaken reason, Ron has to go on the run with Pansy-fucking-Parkinson.
He is greatly displeased because Pansy-fucking-Parkinson is a giant cunt.