Recent bookmarks
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Tags
- Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
- Heinz Doofenshmirtz & Perry the Platypus
- Heinz Doofenshmirtz/Perry the Platypus
- Heinz Doofenshmirtz
- Perry the Platypus (Phineas and Ferb)
- Norm (Phineas and Ferb)
- Drama & Romance
- Slow Romance
- Out of Character
- Emotional Hurt/Comfort
- First Time
- First Kiss
- Gay Sex
- Love Confessions
- Dreams
- Songfic
- Sign Language
- Alternate Universe - Human
- Human Perry the Platypus (Phineas and Ferb)
- Domestic Fluff
- Mutual Pining
- Slow Burn
- Fluff and Angst
- Happy Ending
- Idiots in Love
- alcohol consumption
- Sensuality
- Emotional Sex
- Heinz is slightly younger than in canon
- Perry can actually talk but due to his trauma it's complicated
- they do drink but they are not drunk at all
- OWCA can kick rocks
Summary
Both of them are lovesick. It's been years of longing and hiding the feelings, drowning them deep inside.
But Perry is about to confess.Bookmarked by rustandgear
26 Jan 2026
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Tags
- Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
- Heinz Doofenshmirtz & Perry the Platypus
- Ferb Fletcher & Phineas Flynn
- Ferb Fletcher & Phineas Flynn & Perry the Platypus
- Major Monogram & Perry the Platypus (Phineas and Ferb)
- Phineas Flynn & Perry the Platypus
- Ferb Fletcher & Perry the Platypus
- Perry the Platypus (Phineas and Ferb)
- Heinz Doofenshmirtz
- Phineas Flynn
- Ferb Fletcher
- Major Monogram (Phineas and Ferb)
- Carl Karl
- Linda Flynn-Fletcher
- Candace Flynn
- Hurt/Comfort
- hyperthermia
- Author Is Sleep Deprived
- Hurt Perry
- I dont know how to tag
- petting
- Cold
- First story
- kinda scared
- Comfort
- Hurt
Summary
Agent P just had to be sent out to stop Dr. Doofenshmirtz on the day where the weather wasnt safe at all, spoiler he doesnt make it to D.E.I
Bookmarked by rustandgear
26 Dec 2025
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Stan Doofenshmirtz by detectivejigsaw
Fandom Gravity Falls, Phineas and Ferb
- General Audiences, Teen And Up Audiences
- No Archive Warnings Apply, Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Major Character Death
- Gen, F/M
- Series in Progress
23 Dec 2025
- No Archive Warnings Apply
- Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
- Major Character Death
- Heinz Doofenshmirtz & Perry the Platypus
- Heinz Doofenshmirtz & Stan Pines
- Perry the Platypus & Stan Pines
- Heinz Doofenshmirtz & Vanessa Doofenshmirtz
- Stan Pines & Vanessa Doofenshmirtz
- Vanessa Doofenshmirtz & Perry the Platypus
- Ford Pines & Stan Pines
- Ford Pines & Caryn Romanoff Pines
- Stan Pines & Heinz Doofenshmirtz
- Heinz Doofenshmirtz & Perry the Platypus (mentioned)
- Stan Pines & Caryn Romanoff Pines
- Stan Pines & Heinz Doofenshmirtz (mentioned)
- Stan Pines & Vanessa Doofenshmirtz (mentioned)
- Carla McCorkle/Stan Pines (past)
- Stan Pines & Perry the Platypus (mentioned)
- Vanessa Doofenshmirtz & Stan Pines
- Perry the Platypus (Phineas and Ferb) & Stan Pines
- Heinz Doofenshmirtz & Roger Doofenshmirtz
- Vanessa Doofenshmirtz & Roger Doofenshmirtz
- Sherman "Shermie" Pines & Stan Pines (past)
- Ford Pines & Stan Pines (past)
- Stan Pines & Caryn Romanoff Pines (past)
- Sherman "Shermie" Pines/Original Character(s)
- Bobbi Fabulous & Danny & Sherman | Swampy (Phineas & Ferb)
- Ford Pines & Sherman "Shermie" Pines
- Sherman "Shermie" Pines & Caryn Romanoff Pines
- Filbrick Pines & Sherman "Shermie" Pines
- Sherman "Shermie" Pines & Stan Pines
- Jesus "Soos" Alzamirano Ramirez & Stan Pines
- Emma-May Dixon/Fiddleford H. McGucket
- Fiddleford H. McGucket & Tate McGucket
- Jesus "Soos" Alzamirano Ramirez & Fiddleford H. McGucket
- Ferb Fletcher & Phineas Flynn
- Heinz Doofenshmirtz
- Perry the Platypus (Phineas and Ferb)
- Stan Pines
- Vanessa Doofenshmirtz
- Ford Pines
- Caryn Romanoff Pines
- Sherman "Shermie" Pines
- Shermie's Wife (mentioned)
- Filbrick Pines
- Stan Pines (mentioned)
- Candace Flynn (brief cameo)
- Linda Flynn-Fletcher (brief cameo)
- Phineas Flynn (brief cameo)
- Ferb Fletcher (brief cameo)
- Perry the Platypus (mentioned)
- Sherman | Swampy (Phineas and Ferb)
- OFC
- Danny (Phineas and Ferb)
- Bobbi Fabulous (Phineas and Ferb)
- Sherman "Shermie" Pines' Wife
- Fiddleford H. McGucket
- Emma-May Dixon
- Jesus "Soos" Alzamirano Ramirez
- Tate McGucket
- Angst
- Hurt/Comfort
- Found Family
- Heinz Doofenshmirtz being a good dad
- Stan Pines getting a positive male role model
- Radical idea I know
- Well sort of good
- He's a Work in Progress
- Technically two role models
- Stan Doofenshmirtz-verse
- Guilty Ford Pines
- Young Ford Pines
- Slight Hurt/Comfort
- brief reference to suicide
- ATOTS-AU
- College Professor Ford Pines
- Part of the Stan Doofenshmirtz series
- Stan & Vanessa bonding
- Humor
- Adventure
- Stan Doofenshmirtz AU
- Dramatic Irony
- Teenage Stan Pines
- Trying to adjust to the future
- Learning some hard truths
- A lot of you are probably going to hate me for this chapter
- sorry - Freeform
- but I don't make the rules
- Oh wait I do
- whoops
- At least in the form of dramatic irony
- Stan finding his place in this new world
- Heinz being the well meaning but clueless dad we all know and love
- Shermie doesn't get nearly enough attention
- surprise
- Stan and Vanessa being siblings
- Character Study of Shermie
- Shermie is Swampy from Love Handel
- Stan Doofenshmirtz Universe
- Presumed character death
- Grief/Mourning
- Guilt
- Heinz Doofenshmirtz Is A Good Dad
- At least he's trying his best
- Stan Pines is a good son
- ...He's also trying his best
- Guilty Shermie Pines
- McGucket is happy
- and relatively sane
- comparatively at least
Summary
A father without a family finds a son without a family.
This has the potential to work out surprisingly well.- Words:
- 49,315
- Works:
- 8
- Bookmarks:
- 259
Bookmarked by rustandgear
11 Dec 2025
-
Tags
- No Archive Warnings Apply
- Heinz Doofenshmirtz/Perry the Platypus
- Vanessa Doofenshmirtz & Perry the Platypus
- Perry the Platypus (Phineas and Ferb)
- Vanessa Doofenshmirtz
- Heinz Doofenshmirtz
- Candace Flynn
- Phineas Flynn
- The rest of the flynn-fletchers are there but not enough for it to merit tagging
- Perry the Platypus (Phineas and Ferb) Needs a Hug
- Perry the Platypus Gets A Hug
- awkward dinners
- Panic Attacks
- Vannessa is on top of it
- because she's awesome like that
- Pining Idiots
- but as a side plot this time
- Perry being afraid of losing his family
- cover getting blown
- ish
- lets see what other tags
- uhhh
- Doof comforting Perry
- Carl being iconic as a side character
- Cuddling
- because we all deserve a little treat
Summary
Perry the Platypus has gotten his cover blown before. Last time, he almost lost everything and everyone he loves. Now he's here again, on the brink of breaking it all, and struggling desperately to breathe.
(Or: Candance invites Vanessa over for dinner, and that goes about exactly how you might think. Things escalate with Heinz's arrival. Mild TW for Perry having a panic attack for most of the fic.)
*Contains romantic Perryshmirtz. I suppose if you cut out like three lines of text and squint really hard it could be read as platonic, but I did not write it to be that way so it might take some mental gymnastics. Also Heinz is the one who talks Perry out of the panic attack, and they cuddle for like, a solid thirty percent of this fic, so if you're really not into it it might be a good idea to click away.
Bookmarked by rustandgear
07 Dec 2025
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[collection] but you keep spinning 'round me just the same (Perryshmirtz) by revenblue
Fandom Minecraft (Video Game), Phineas and Ferb
- General Audiences, Teen And Up Audiences, Explicit, Mature
- No Archive Warnings Apply, Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
- M/M, Gen, F/M, Other
- Series in Progress
31 Dec 2024
- No Archive Warnings Apply
- Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
- Graphic Depictions Of Violence
- Major Character Death
- Heinz Doofenshmirtz/Perry the Platypus
- Heinz Doofenshmirtz & Perry the Platypus
- Heinz Doofenshmirtz & Norm
- Perry the Platypus & Peter the Panda (Phineas and Ferb)
- Heinz Doofenshmirtz & Peter the Panda
- Charlene Doofenshmirtz/Heinz Doofenshmirtz
- Heinz Doofenshmirtz/Heinz Doofenshmirtz (2nd Dimension)
- Vanessa Doofenshmirtz & Perry the Platypus
- Perry the Platypus & Norm
- Ferb Fletcher & Phineas Flynn & Perry the Platypus
- Heinz Doofenshmirtz & Vanessa Doofenshmirtz & Perry The Platypus
- Stacy Hirano & Perry the Platypus
- Heinz Doofenshmirtz & Vanessa Doofenshmirtz
- Heinz Doofenshmirtz & Roger Doofenshmirtz
- hypothetical Big Black Boots Boris/Heinz Doofenshmirtz
- Heinz Doofenshmirtz
- Perry the Platypus (Phineas and Ferb)
- Perry the Platypus
- Heinz Doofenshmirtz (mentioned)
- Norm (Phineas and Ferb)
- Charlene Doofenshmirtz (mentioned)
- Creeper (Minecraft)
- Peter the Panda (Phineas and Ferb)
- Charlene Doofenshmirtz
- Heinz Doofenshmirtz (2nd Dimension)
- Vanessa Doofenshmirtz
- Carl Karl
- Ferb Fletcher
- Phineas Flynn
- Stacy Hirano
- Major Monogram (Phineas and Ferb)
- The Regurgitator (Phineas and Ferb)
- Original Characters
- Roger Doofenshmirtz (mentioned)
- Heinz Doofenshmirtz('s butt)
- Heinz Doofenshmirtz's Mother
- Angst
- jumping to collisions
- it's like jumping to conclusions except you misjudge and hurt yourself
- POV Second Person
- I accidentally a lot of Road to Danville references
- Perry's POV
- Fluff
- Vaguely Post-Canon
- this is basically just an excuse to make them hug
- Perry the Platypus Needs A Hug
- Perry the Platypus Gets A Hug
- Emotional Hurt/Comfort
- POV Third Person Limited
- Ambiguous Relationships
- Romantic Fluff
- Dancing
- implied established relationship because Heinz is terrible at being open about his feelings
- you'd think Heinz had a thing for hands with how often he mentions them
- Post-Canon
- Ficlet Collection
- some aren't ambiguous but it can go either way really
- First Time
- Blow Jobs
- platypuses have weird anatomy yo
- Perry is a flower prince
- Introspection
- Kissing
- Marshmallows
- marshmallows as a shameless excuse for kissing
- Christmas
- POV Third Person Omniscient
- Alternate Universe - Evil
- does this count as crack?
- Evil Perry the Platypus
- Pillow & Blanket Forts
- Drabble Sequence
- Pale Romance | Moirallegiance
- Pale Porn
- Eventual Fluff
- Petplay
- Character Study
- Interspecies Romance
- Species Dysphoria
- It Is A Terrible Thing To Be Forty-Seven Years Old And The Wrong Species
- Scar Survey
- Implied/Referenced Child Abuse
- Drabble
- Closet Sex
- Lunar Eclipse
- POV First Person
- Established Relationship
- my headcanons let me show you them
- Trans Male Character
- Trans Perry the Platypus
- Platypus anatomy
- Gender Dysphoria
- Implied/Referenced Sex
- Mpregg
- this was meant to be a shitpost i'm sorry
- it's not actually a shitpost it grew too much genuine angst along the way
- Bondage
- Cloaca
- Wet & Messy
- Aftercare
- Wingfic
- Prompt Fic
- Hugs
- Cuddling & Snuggling
- Handholding
- Anniversary
- Nemeversary (Nemesis Anniversary)
- 'I'm glad we're alive' kiss
- Post-O.W.C.A. Files
- the whole OWCA Files team is here but they're not the focus so
- Sharing a Bed
- Size Difference
- Holding Hands
- Forehead Kisses
- Desert Island Fic
- Accidental Baby Acquisition
- Canon-Typical Violence
- Heinz being a terrible father to Norm
- No Romance
- Rough Oral Sex
- Double Drabble
- upside-down kiss
- Spoilers for The Phineas And Ferb Effect
- Alternate Universe - Soulmates
- vaguely canon compliant
- this is basically a series of vignettes that fit around canon events
- POV Alternating
- Soulmate-Identifying Marks
- Marking
- Frottage
- Perry's a violent little platypus
- there's a strong undercurrent of exasperated fondness here
- Triple Drabble
- you know how cats love to sleep on faces? that.
- Perry's an avoidant lil shit
- Heinz has abandonment issues
- Oneshot
- Strip Poker
- Monologue
- Heinz's attempts at flirting
- I mean his species is ambiguous here
- but all I write is platypus!Perry so that's where I'm coming from
- AU where Heinz has a fear of backstories
- holy crap I wrote a fight scene
- Crossovers & Fandom Fusions
- Heinz is a creeper raised by ocelots
- no character death (not even mobs)
- 'Wrong Soulmate' AU
- Agent Pee
- Angst and Hurt/Comfort
- why is there angst in my shitpost
- Perry steals Heinz's lab coat
- Perry's not actually here he just wrote a note
- Phone Sex
- Huddling For Warmth
- Bad Puns
- Size Kink
- Christmas Smut
- Sorry Not Sorry
- this is not a happy fic
- Marriage Proposal
- ships listed in the order they appear
- Perryshmirtz is endgame
- Mistletoe
- Alternate Universe - Gender Changes
- Female Perry the Platypus
- Queerplatonic Relationships
- not explicitly but I'mma count it
- Movie Night
- Family Fluff
- Fucking Machines
- Interspecies Relationship(s)
- Interspecies Sex
- Finger Sucking
- Anal Sex
- Cunnilingus
- Multiple Orgasms
- fond exasperation is the name of the game
- Coming In Pants
- Heinz is too polite to say 'dick'
- Eyebrows
- in particular Perry's eyebrow
- sloppy interspecies hatesnogging
- Alternate Universe - Coconut
- Coconut AU
- Perry the Coconut
- Perry is a literal coconut in this
- I'm not even kidding
- Crack
- Crack Treated Seriously
- Heinz is attractive 'by coconut standards'
- Doctor Coconut
- Body Horror
- coconut body horror
- Transformation
- Perry gets the Balloony treatment
- flying hat of coconut
- GOOD NIGHT mr.coconut
- The Author Regrets Nothing
- Insecurity
- Bedtime Stories
- First Kiss
- Relationship Study
- Time Skips
- Developing Relationship
- Ambiguous Species
- Accidental Relationship
- two dorks who don't realise they're dating
- musical soulmates
- probably the most self-indulgent thing i've ever written
- Major Character Injury
- Blood and Injury
- Post-OWCA Files
- Hurt/Comfort
- Fluff and Smut
- Some Humor
- Explicit Consent
- Safewords
- Safeword Use
- Communication
- Nonverbal Communication
- lube and handcuffs
- Crying
- loss of control (but in a kinky context)
- tl;dr Perry's too terrified of losing control to come
- Trust Kink
- Praise Kink
- terribad sex ideas
- Bad Decisions
- Bad Sex
- Humour
- featuring Perry's inability to refuse Heinz anything
- Please Do Not Take This Seriously
- Awkward Sexual Situations
- Ill-Advised Sexcapades
- Birthday
- Birthday Cake
- Shippy if you Squint
- Episode: s04e47 Act Your Age
- Rough Kissing
- Fingerfucking
- Tail Sex
- Rough Sex
- Subspace
- Perry can talk because I say so
- Cycle of Abuse
- Fatherhood
- Heinz acknowledges Norm as his son
- Heinz realises he's been abusing Norm and feels bad about it
- thus proving himself a better person than his own parents
- Perry's there as a listening ear
- can be read as platonic if you overlook a couple things
- Vanessa shows up at the start
- Day Off
- they watch soap operas and also smooch
- That's it that's the plot
- Defenestration
- Gen or Pre-Slash
- Canon-Typical Plausible Deniability Flirting
- no kissing
- Heinz hints at a kiss and Perry yeets him for his trouble
- Pre-Slash
- Unresolved Romantic Tension
- Board Games
- Party Games
- it's basically Twister with a different name
- underhanded tactics
- all's fair in love and twister
- Scents & Smells
- Unacknowledged Feelings
- Perry is bad at feelings
- stealing your crush's clothes for the smell is totally platonic right? XD
- Feelings Realisation
- Post-Coital Angsting
- Self-Hatred
- Self-Esteem Issues
- Heinz needs a hug
- Heinz gets a hug
- Cloacalingus
- Face-Sitting
- possessiveness kink
- Body Dysphoria
- then there's some dick-riding
- just a little bit of size kink
- Perry comes like twice
- a little bit of hurt/comfort
- mostly domestic fluff though
- pretend there's no reason Perry can't stay the night
- every other chapter's in second person pov
- Idiots in Love
- Slow Burn
- yes in that order
- '''''platonic''''' date (it's not platonic they're just idiots)
- Character Study-ish
- Wedding Fluff
- '''''platonic''''' marriage (did I mention they're idiots?)
- this thing grew a theme of family by the end I guess
- Heinz gets hit around the head with a clue-by-four until he accepts Norm is his son
- just a tinge of hurt/comfort
- Christmas Party
- Office Party
- Angst with a Happy Ending
- Death from Old Age
- Bittersweet
- Gentle Kissing
- Mild Hurt/Comfort
- Post-Episode: s04e46 Doof 101
- Featherless Biped
- oblivious idiots in love
- resolving romantic tension
- Bets & Wagers
- Gossip
- Bodyswap
- Heinz has chronic pain
- Texting
- Post-Episode: The OWCA Files
- Dad Jokes
- Kink Negotiation
- Non-Sexual Age Play
- Caregivers And Littles
- mention of incest (not actually incest)
- Soulmates
- Shared Pain Soulmates
- Domestic Fluff
- Soulmate Reveal
- Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD
- Perry has unspoken trauma from his training
- Perry's loved ones go out of their way to avoid his triggers
- unconditional emotional support
- characters and relationships listed in order of appearance
- Hate Sex
- Thwart Sex
- Affection
- Resolved Sexual Tension
- Simultaneous Orgasm
- fluffy hatesex because that's how these two idiots roll
- Valentine's Day
- Haunted Houses
- Bats
- Phobias
- date fluff
- Dialogue-Only
- breaking your nemesis out of prison
- Not talking about feelings
- Shut Up Kiss
- Heinz is being self-loathing and Perry asks him not to
- non-sexual references to praise kink
- this is very emotionally horny and I am not sorry
- References to Canon
- Alternate Universe - Human
- Fursuit AU
- Heinz has no idea Perry's in a fursuit
- Goodnight Kiss
- Perry needs a hug
- Perry demands a hug
- nominally gen but can be read as shippy if you want (just like the rest of my gen fics)
- they both needed the rest and relaxation
- Enemy Lovers
- Heinz is Good now so they're not ACTUALLY enemies but that doesn't mean they're not still nemeses
- Perry has entirely too much paperwork to deal with
- Cloacal Sex
- Hand & Finger Kink
- Submission
- Bratting
- Oral Sex
- Hand Jobs
- Canon-Typical Ambiguous Relationship
- Families of Choice
- Perry and Heinz are either QPP or dating it's up to you
- mild spoilers for the end of Last Day Of Summer
- not MML season 2 compliant
- Last Words Your Soulmate Will Say To You AU
- Tragedy
- Ficlet
- shippy if you want it to be but pretty platonic in execution
- Perry has a foul mouth
- Violence
- Perry's killed a lot of people in his job
- this whole fic is mostly flashback
- lots of unnamed OCs
- scritches
- POV Third Person
- Sickfic
- Love Confessions
- set like ten years in the future
- not AYA compliant
- Asexual Character
- Clothed Sex
- Couch Sex
- Tail Job
- Come Marking
- Smut
- Autumn
- jumping in a pile of leaves
- Sharing Clothes
- Quadruple Drabble
- Fashion Disaster
- Perry is exasperated
- they're in love tho
- Literal Sleeping Together
- falling asleep together in a pile of pillows and blankets
- then they smooch
- Accidental Proposal
- Fluff and Humour
- Perry talks
- tfw you get nemesis-engaged before realising you really just want to smooch your nemesis
- 5+1 Things
- mention of offscreen sex
- Spoilers for Candace Against The Universe
- Missing Scene
- Vanessa is exasperated with her dads
- Doofapus
- Fight Sex
- Mutual Masturbation
- Interspecies Awkwardness
- Perry cooks bacon while shirtless
- platypuses don't have nipples
- Stacy cameos because I love her
- canon-typical nudity
- Perry later wears clothing
- aprons count as clothing right?
- this was originally vent fic
- Friends With Benefits
- Nemeses With Benefits
- FWB but they caught feelings
- Feelings Realization
- Enemies To Boyfrienemies
- Relationship Negotiation
- Mating Cycles/In Heat
- Demisexual Perry the Platypus
- Sex Toys
- Hijinks & Shenanigans
- Fade to Black
- mention of Ferb and Phineas (albeit not by name)
- Sex in a Car
- Heinz is impatient
- Trans Heinz Doofenshmirtz
- I didn't wanna have to deal with prep okay
- Vaginal Sex
- Premature Ejaculation
- it's a good thing Perry's hoverjet has autopilot
- they love each other so much they're just tsundere little shits
- emphasis on fight
- Canon-atypical violence
- seriously at least half of this is aftercare
- Heinz's arms are still titanium
- Perry's a ball of repressed rage that needs an outlet
- is it still hurt/comfort if one hurts and the other comforts
- Breathplay
- Under-negotiated Kink
- Heinz is deliberately OOC
- villain monologue
- it all works out at the end don't worry
- Rewrite
- Perry talks because I say so
- First Meetings
- Pre-Canon
- Perry doesn't want a soulmate
- Platonic Soulmates
- you could take this as pre-romance if you really wanted but it could go either way
- Perry gets reassigned
- Perry makes choices
- Perry regrets some of his choices
- mostly a rewrite of the Regurgitator episode into this AU
- dream-based soulmates
- Heinz gets therapy: the fic
- Family Bonding
- Family Feels
- characters listed in the order they appear
- Canonical Child Abuse
- set around/after LDOS
- Heinz is finally able to address his parents' abuse
- Stargazing
- References to past trauma
- Drabble Collection
- can be read as romantic if you prefer
- Inspired by Fanart
- Alternate Universe - Succubi & Incubi
- Asexual Incubus
- Asexual Perry the Platypus
- Perry's ace but not aro
- Perry gets wooed
- Perry moonlights as a stray platypus who doesn't do much
- Perry comes out to Ferb and Phineas as a demon
- Perry isn't good with words
- Happy Ending
- no OWCA
- offscreen sex for untagged relationships
- the most Perry and Heinz ever do is smooch and hold hands
- Hair Brushing
- purring happens because purring
- Miscommunication
- Perry thought they were already engaged
- Platonic Relationships
- Platonic Life Partners
- they have a proper conversation about feelings
- technically announcement of intention to propose but still
- Platonic Marriage Proposal
- Platonic Cuddling
- lots of platonic intimacy here
- the word of the day is 'family'
- Getting Together
- Sick Character
- Surprise Kissing
- in that order
- Masturbation
- in which Perry is a platypus
- Heinz shows up in chapter 2
- could be platonic if you prefer
- Wall Sex
- Perry is Lorge
- Implied Sexual Content
- the written equivalent of the camera panning over to the wall while the leads fuck
- it's really not subtle is what i'm saying
- light on detail yes but not subtle
- Mirror Sex
- kinda character study too?
- Possessive Sex
- but like wholesome possessiveness
- Doggy Style
- Heinz worries he might hurt Perry (he won't)
- Being Lost
- canon-typical monologuing
- second person with Homestuck-style character switching
- canon divergence of Just Our Luck where Heinz doesn't go through with his scheme
- fluff both figurative and literal
- Pre-Relationship
- could be read as platonic probably but I had my shipping goggles on
- Heinz is extremely oblivious
- Heinz needs to sleep
- Heinz continually misunderstands what Perry's doing because he refuses to get his hopes up
- Headaches & Migraines
- Vomiting
- vent fic
- nothing obviously romantic but I won't blame anyone for putting on their shipping goggles :P
- Held Down
- Biting
- Service Top
- Heinz plans to propose to Perry
- Perry pushed the self-destruct button
- Canon-Typical Behavior
- Canon-Typical Thwarting
- Perry Cares So Much
- hurt/comfort if you squint
- about as platonic as the canon handholding scenes
- by which I mean feel free to bring your shipping goggles
- Alternate Universe - Dance
- it's an AU where they're dancing what else do you need?
- Heinz is not an evil scientist
- Alternate Universe - Different First Meeting
- Heinz is the only one who can keep up with Perry
- Injury
- Heinz finds out he's Perry's emergency contact... the hard way
- Heinz is terrible at sympathy
- Thank God You're Alive Kiss
- Temporary Past Character Death
- Major Character Undeath
- literal ghost in the machine
- Enemies to Lovers
- more enemies to boyfrienemies if I'm honest
- Age Difference
- everyone involved is an adult
- Reveal
- it's all about the backstories
- Halloween Costumes
- Dressing Up As Each Other
- Canon-Typical Holding Hands
- Perry's like 'if i fits i sits'
- Heinz has a bony lap
- I wanted to write something queerplatonic but idk how much of that came through
- Sleep Deprivation
- he ends up literally sleeping with his nemesis
- Setting and Respecting boundaries
- Minor Injuries
- Heinz Doofenshmirtz Acts Like A Cat
- Perry's responses are implied
- Falling In Love
- Perry the Platypus needs a break
- Heinz gets to yell at Monogram
- New Year's Kiss
- under-negotiated sex
- Heinz is into it
- Magical Healing Cock
- sex so good Heinz's arms grow back
- they're stuck in a tree
- Episode: s04e02 Happy New Year! (Phineas and Ferb)
- they talk about the (canon!) indirect kiss
- a (direct) kiss is implied at the end
- Weddings
- reference to drawn dicks
- penis ouija
- fight fueled ouija board of cock
- they don't actually live together but they might as well
- Perry has a day off for once
- so he's going to spend the day with his nemesis
- basically a greatest hits of canon('s ship tease) fic
- Perry's tied up
- Perry could have escaped at any time (but didn't)
- Heinz is the one who needs aftercare
- Creative Uses For Heinz's Nose
- minor safeword use
- does this count as hatesex?
- Aromantic Character
- not referring to the same character
- Frank discussion of sex
- love is not what defines a happy relationship
- Morning Wood
- technically afternoon wood but who's counting
- Voice Kink
- Come Inflation
- Unrealistic Sex
- Inator-Powered Unrealistic Sex
- Some Realism For Flavour
- (but not much let's be honest here)
- Refractory period what refractory period
- author is not as sorry as he probably should be
- Coming Untouched
- Dick-or-Treat 2022 - Weekly Challenge 1
- yo dawg I heard you like hurt/comfort so I put some hurt/comfort in your hurt/comfort
- tfw the process of comfort is itself a hurt that needs comfort
- Perry the Platypus (Phineas and Ferb) Needs a Hug
- it all starts when Heinz asks for a hug
- Recursive Hurt/Comfort
- Writing on Skin
- Dick-or-Treat 2022 - Weekly Challenge 3
- (direct) kiss is implied at the end
- yes I wrote a second version of my own fic no I will not take criticism
- very very mild angst (immediately resolved)
- Underwater Blow Jobs
- Perry shows off his platypus lung capacity
- Dick-or-Treat 2022 - Weekly Challenge 4
- Kissing (implied)
- Perry's rationalising to himself
- Mating Bites
- Heinz has ocelot instincts
- Dry Humping
- Dick-or-Treat 2022 - Weekly Challenge 5
- Stranded
- passing the time sex
- Dick-or-Treat 2022 - Weekly Challenge 8
- it's not actually cold Heinz just wanted to snuggle
- telling stories around the fire
- Pillow Talk
- just the aftercare not the sex
- Grief/Mourning
- Heinz's mother dies and he's not taking it well
- Perry and Peter gossip for a while
- what Perry and Heinz have isn't exactly a romance but it's not NOT a romance
- and by surprise kissing I mean it's a surprise to both of them
- tail biting
- Grinding
- or what passes for clothed sex when Perry's involved
- Heinz may or may not have planned this
- Perry's one (1) weakness continues to be a certain man (ocelot) in a lab coat
- Perry's trying to convince himself to regret it
- (he doesn't actually regret it)
- Height Differences
- Perry tries to make Heinz late for his date
- so Heinz makes Perry his new date
- Paperwork
- Arranged Nemesis-Marriage
- Getting Nemesis-Married Sight Unseen
- the phrase 'bad blind date' is used
- could be platonic i just tagged it as romantic because of the marriage comparisons
- Only One Bed
- Insomnia
- Heinz can't stop thinking about how he wants to snuggle Perry long enough to sleep
- Autistic Heinz Doofenshmirtz
- Heinz has a non-verbal episode
- Red String of Fate
- Heinz ties Perry up with the red string of fate
- the italicised 'oh NO'
- Date Night
- Blackouts
- Heinz wants to add chorus girls to everything
- Sock AU
- Love Bites
- exhibitionism talk
- Perry finds new and exciting ways to shut Heinz up
- Lingerie
- Orgasm Control
- Orgasm Denial
- Heinz doesn't even show up but his influence is very prominent
- Canon-Compliant Handholding
- can be read as platonic if you prefer
- specifically Perry's feelings realisation and his acting on it
- Floor Sex
- Perry gets a break for once
- Erections
- there's pretty explicitly a dick though
- Large Cock
- Rimming
- Ends Mid-Scene
- Sex
- Perry has a voice kink
- Heinz is silent in bed
- Perry's actively trying to make Heinz make noise
- he fails but it's not a dealbreaker or anything so
- sickfic-adjacent probably
- Perry wants to touch the butt
- Perry gets absolutely railed
- owo-speak
- Casual Handholding
- Perry snores and it's adorable
- Heinz still has low self-esteem but he's trying
- Heinz is an OWCA agent now
- not necessarily romantic but not necessarily NOT romantic either
- Perry is also tsundere as hell
- pick your Heinz gender
- Lipstick & Lip Gloss
- the casual intimacy of your partner offering to help with your lipstick
- Cock Warming-adjacent
- penetrative sex without the thrusting
- Begging
- Perry gets a lot of use out of his tail
- I mean it barely comes up but it's there
- Relationship Discussions
- Heinz wants to meet Perry's family
- Heinz gets fur in his mouth
- Ribbons
- Birthday Presents
- Light Bondage
- more shibari with ribbons but
- Vibrators
- Fun With Remote Vibrators
- set during The Flying Fishmonger
- Water Sex
- Platypus Mating Behaviour
- threat of genital injury (they ARE nemeses after all)
- Dick-or-Treat 2023 - Weekly Challenge 1
- Body Heat Difference
- Light Dom/sub
- post-sex snuggling
- Dick-or-Treat 2023 - Weekly Challenge 3
- they're on a fancy dinner date
- Foreplay
- Public Sex
- Public Blow Jobs
- imminent sex
- tfw the loudest guy you know is silent in bed
- Gentle Dom Heinz Doofenshmirtz
- Orgasm
- Heinz is focusing all his energy on Perry
- Consensual Non-Consent
- fantasising
- Possessiveness
- Return of the Agent P Boxers
- Heinz's Agent P boxers got Perry acting (thinking) unwise
- Office Sex
- Desk Sex
- tfw your usual sex closet isn't available so you use your boss's desk instead
- Perry knows what he wants and what he wants is Heinz's ass
- Food Fight
- Food Kink
- they're on a sugar rush
- arguably dubcon-y
- I mean it's not like it's sex pollen but it is softening the boundaries in their relationship
- Perry has no idea what sex is (even after having it)
- Dick-or-Treat 2023 - Weekly Challenge 5
- Clothing Kink
- lab coat kink
- Masturbation Interruptus
- the lab coat was a trap
- Heinz catches Perry in the act
- cue basically phone sex through a cheap speaker
- Dick-or-Treat 2023 - Weekly Challenge 6
- Edging
- BDSM
- all Heinz has to do is stay quiet
- unfortunately Perry's determined to sabotage him
- Dick-or-Treat 2023 - Weekly Challenge 7
- Somnophilia
- Heinz does his usual act first ask permission later thing
- Perry doesn't actually mind
- Dick-or-Treat 2023 - Weekly Challenge 8
- Dacryphilia
- Starts Mid-Sex
- Meet-Cute
- you know that trope where their hands inadvertently touch? that.
- Heinz Doofenshmirtz Needs a Hug
- the closest it gets to 'romance' is in the sense of homestuck's concept of moirallegiance
- Dubious Consent
- Drunken Confessions
- Drunk Sex
- Morning After
- it all works out fine in the end don't worry
- Coffee Shops
- 'is this a date' date (spoiler: yes)
- Mild Angst with a happy ending
- Episode: s04e08 Primal Perry
- Secret Identity
- Two-Person Love Triangle (kinda)
- Heinz thinks Perry and Steven are exes
- Identity Reveal
- Perry talks for inator reasons
- inator malfunction
- '''''malfunction'''''
- Pining
- Alternate Universe - Fantasy
- Inators (Phineas and Ferb)
- Norm gets a brief cameo
- tfw you make a deal with a forest witch (warlock) for your firstborn
- very light on worldbuilding
- Heinz doesn't even do magic people just assume he does
- Canon-Typical Overcomplicated Scheme
- Exasperated Perry the Platypus
- Missions Gone Wrong
- Heinz Doofenshmirtz Has Abandonment Issues
- Birthday Party
- Surprise Party
- Feels
- Heinz gets the surprise party he always wanted
- Backstory
- Abusive Parents
- Heinz got burned at the stake
- the actual burning at the stake happens offscreen
- Perry is single-handedly (single-pawedly?) addressing Heinz's abandonment issues
- Sick-or-Treat 2023 - Weekly Challenge 3
- Beaches
- Reunited and It Feels So Good
- Enemies
- this is probably the slowmo beach run from It's About Time
- Face Punching
- Interspecies
- Perry is impatient
- Bruises
- Heinz isn't there Perry's just thinking about him
- and by thinking I mean fantasising
- Teasing
- Exhibitionism-adjacent
- Perry is a captive audience
- Makeshift Fireworks
- it's exactly as shippy as you want it to be
- Perry is not a mistletoe enjoyer
- Frenemies
- Perry refuses to let Heinz be abandoned
- Carnival
- Dick-or-Treat 2024 - Challenge 1
- Blow Jobs With Teeth
- kinda emotional hurt/comfort?
- Perry is overprotective
- Dick-or-Treat 2024 - Challenge 2
- Roleplay
- Perry has a degradation kink
- Perry can talk for inator reasons
- and uses this ability for mischief
- Perry is a little shit
- (not that it's mentioned but it's implied via omission)
- Phone Sex (kinda)
- Exhibitionism
- voice-only domming
- guided masturbation
- Dick-or-Treat 2024 - Challenge 3
- Light Sadism
- Gags
- Dick-or-Treat 2024 - Challenge 6
- Dick-or-Treat 2024 - Challenge 8
- Cock Worship
- They're watching a horror movie
- the marriage proposal is a trap
- Stabbing
- Perry the Platypus Gets Stabbed
- not explicitly shippy (yet) but shipping goggles are recommended
- is there anything more homoerotic than going to your worst enemy when you're injured
Summary
Two lives, intertwined, until they can't help but fall into orbit around each other.
A collection of standalone Perryshmirtz
oneshotsstories.- Words:
- 346,676
- Works:
- 279
- Bookmarks:
- 33
Bookmarked by rustandgear
19 Sep 2025
