1 - 20 of 38 Works by scumbaganarchy
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By some stroke of insanity or genius, Bad News are about to play the Hammersmith Apollo. The four of them have different pre-show rituals that need to be indulged first to ensure the show is a success.
For the Rik and Ade Prompt Fest. <3
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- Part 6 of Rantings and Ravings
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In 1984, four Scumbag students drove a double decker bus over a cliff. That was supposed to be the end of the story...
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- Part 7 of Complete Bastards Week
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Kevin thinks he's fumbled your first date.
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- Part 6 of Complete Bastards Week
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She isn't perfect, but you love her.
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- Part 5 of Complete Bastards Week
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In Thatcher's bloody Britain, a new type of monster stalks the land - one intent on purging the country of all those it deems unfit to live there.
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- Part 4 of Complete Bastards Week
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There's something bothering Baldrick at the back of his mind. Then again, as King Edmund says, it's probably just a flea.
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- Part 3 of Complete Bastards Week
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Vyvyan regrets punching that hole through to the bathroom, but we all go a little mad sometimes. He does regret it. Mostly.
There might be something wrong with him.
...Filthy boy.
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- Part 2 of Complete Bastards Week
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A year after the second Bad News documentary airs on Channel 4, Vim Fuego contacts Sally Friedman and asks her for an interview. He wants to tell his side of the story. Sally, for her part, is keen to monopolise on an opportunity of any kind.
Strange things can happen when you're alone in a hotel room.
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- Part 1 of Complete Bastards Week
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It goes without saying (though shall be said anyway) that everyone alive today has heard the name Alan Partridge.* Everyone. But what about the hazy time before we had such certainties?
What was life like for Alan before his moniker entered the general lexicon, before he'd made his indelible mark on broadcasting, back when he was wrongly assumed to be as ordinary as someone like you? (Imagine!) Which world events helped shape the boy who would go on to become a man who would then go on to do a great many successful and fulfilling things** before going on to host a not-hated, equally successful and fulfilling podcast?
This is a series of insights into a younger Alan (and someone he'd later employ for purely price competitive reasons). It is an honest account of a Norwich childhood: raw and occasionally moving (though never out of Norwich). It is a look into the cheeper who would eventually become A Partridge.***
*Apart from the deaf, who will have read his name instead.
**For more details, please purchase Alan's three autobiographies - available from all reputable booksellers, and also from Amazon.
***Not to imply that he ever wasn't called A. Partridge - this is a metaphor about age. -
How To Deal With The Consequences Of Getting Off With A Lady by scumbaganarchy for anon_ee
Fandoms: The Dangerous Brothers - Mayall & Edmondson
31 May 2024
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The Dangerous Brothers' working relationship is threatened by the arrival of... a baby.
For the Rik and Ade Prompt Fest. <3
Series
- Part 5 of Rantings and Ravings
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The Basterds of Hammersmith by scumbaganarchy
Fandoms: Bottom (UK), The Young Ones (TV 1982)
14 Jan 2024
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"You get born, you keep your head down, and then you die - if you're lucky."
The Basterd family aren't known for their good luck, it has to be said. If Hammersmith was a toilet, they'd be the soggy bits of loo roll clogging up its U-bend. This isn't to say they've never had their fun... just not much of it. Addie thinks the Basterd name is cursed. Pauline's inclined to agree. Most of their peers wouldn't see any fault in that theory either - apart from Eddie, that is, who doesn't think the downsides of being named Hitler should be overlooked. Vyvyan isn't so fond of the family mantra - it makes him fucking furious, actually - but he'll always be a Basterd, won't he? And who in their right mind would hang around a Basterd? Maybe one day some prat'll give the family some relief.
...But this story isn't about that. This story is the history of the Basterds, in all their anger. For that, we're going to have to go back a bit of a way: back before punks, poets, hippies, and cool people wrecked havoc on Codrington Road; back before the Hammersmith hardmen pitched tent in Mafeking Parade and never left. Our story begins in 1945, with a new world already haunted by ghosts from the old.
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- Part 2 of Forged
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In 1498, the course of British history was altered forever. Exactly how and why this happened will take a little longer to explain...
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The Day of Rest by scumbaganarchy for birdwatching_in_the_grass
Fandoms: Bottom (UK), The Young Ones (TV 1982)
16 May 2023
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It's the most important day of the week at 11 Mafeking Parade: Sunday. To top this off, Richie and Eddie's nephews are coming round. They're sure to have a dinner done just the way Jesus intended... at least, that's what Richie hopes.
For the Rik and Ade Prompt Fest. <3
Series
- Part 4 of Rantings and Ravings
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B'Stardly Principles by scumbaganarchy
Fandoms: The Young Ones (TV 1982), The New Statesman (TV 1987)
29 Apr 2023
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Years after the near-fatal bus crash, and the rise and fall of his romantic entanglement with a certain orange-haired punk, Rick Pratt has left studenthood on Codrington Road behind for the bright, hellish lights of politics at Westminster. He's betrayed every principle of his youth and joined up with the Tories - but a job is just a job, right?
Not when you're working for Alan B'Stard, the MP with the largest majority in the House of Commons and blue-eyed darling of the New Right. And not when Rick finds himself unwillingly, and inescapably, ensnared by Alan's web of charisma. Is it too late for the People's Poet? Is this one cliff edge too far?
He's not a young one anymore and, ruddy heck, he's afraid.
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- Part 3 of Forged
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Scumbag Monthly's Strip Tease (OOER!) by HeyMcRaely, scumbaganarchy, ScumbagMonthly, xWastedIntellectual_13
Fandoms: The Comic Strip Presents...
01 Mar 2023
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Various episodes of "The Comic Strip Presents..." as reviewed by Scumbag Monthly staff members over the years. We didn't get 'round to reviewing them all, and absolute perfectionism was never the aim, but we've certainly had a lot of fun ranting and raving about one of our favourite comedy anthology series, just the same. Minor grammatical/factual edits and extensions may have been made by the authors, but the reviews remain largely unchanged. Likewise, earlier editions of the Strip Tease were aiming to be 500 words so are likely less detailed.
For the first time, here is the plain text from Scumbag Monthly's Strip Tease, all in one place!
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The Young Ones 40th Anniversary: Episode Reviews by scumbaganarchy, ScumbagMonthly, st4rsh1ne, xWastedIntellectual_13
Fandoms: The Young Ones (TV 1982)
25 Jan 2023
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Just twelve episodes reviewed by twelve different scumbags. Check back each week for the next review!
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The Day a Spaceship Landed on Codrington Road by scumbaganarchy for birdwatching_in_the_grass
Fandoms: Red Dwarf (UK TV), The Young Ones (TV 1982)
25 Dec 2022
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The boyz from the Dwarf aren't sure where the smeg they've landed, but the lads from Scumbag College are sure that wasn't the ruddy roof they just heard caving in. What happens when you stage a crossover between the quartets of two classic British sitcoms? I'm buggered if I know.
My Scumbag Secret Santa for the fab birdwatching_in_the_grass! <3
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Alan said his name without thinking, without considering the ramifications of an intruder receiving the confirmation he was awake and needed dealing with. He knew the figure out there was Chris; this was a low crime rate postcode area, after all. Even if he hadn’t spoken just a minute ago, Alan would’ve recognised those slicked dark curls anywhere. His silhouette was practically burnt into Alan’s subconscious – and here he was! Like some sort of Bond villain, sat outside Alan’s bedroom window with his elbows resting on the ledge. Waiting.
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Alan B'Stard is Feeling Very Peculiar by scumbaganarchy for thealienexchange
Fandoms: The New Statesman (TV 1987)
09 May 2022
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He really is, you know. Sarah isn't sure quite what to make of him.
For the Rik and Ade Prompt Fest. <3
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- Part 3 of Rantings and Ravings
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Stupid pRick by scumbaganarchy
Fandoms: The Young Ones (TV 1982), The Comic Strip Presents...
26 Feb 2022
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Rick Pratt writes home to tell his parents how his first year of secondary school is going.
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- Part 1 of Forged