Chapter Text
6:31 PM
Uhura created a group chat
Uhura added Kirk
Uhura added Spock
Uhura added Leonard
Uhura added Scotty
Uhura added Chekov
Uhura added Sulu
Uhura added Christine
— —
7:09 PM
Leonard: absolutely not
Leonard: how do I get out of this
Leonard: it’s not funny uhura
Uhura: hi guys!! we got clearance from Starfleet to try out new group chat PADD technology
Uhura: what should we call it?
Leonard: lisTEN TO ME I DONT WANT TO BE HERE
Kirk: hiya
Uhura: hi! do u know where Spock is??
Leonard: don’t tell me
Leonard: im stuck in a group chat with the hobgoblin
Uhura: it’s for the whole bridge crew tbh. so maybe don’t tell the ensigns or yeomans
Kirk: be reasonable bones
Kirk: 🥺🥺🥺
Chekov: SKSKSKSKS
Chekov: KEPTIN
Kirk: Chekov don’t tell me that’s how you’ve been spelling my title on official documents. please
Chekov: UM
Kirk: *sigh*
Leonard: gee thats a mood
Uhura: Leonard, you can’t really leave, it’ll mess up the whole thing and Starfleet won’t get their diagnostics. Can’t you just turn your PADD to silent mode?
Kirk: no he’ll miss alerts then
Kirk: he can’t do that, he just has to put up with us
Leonard: when did you idiots become an ‘us’?
Uhura: bridge crew inside joke
Chekov: yeah doctor you just wouldn’t get it
Leonard: im having the urge to punch somebody.
Chekov: FIGHT FHIVGT FIGHT
Kirk: stop.
Uhura: *deathly silence*
Uhura: Leonard where did you go
Kirk: he’s abandoned us I think. We’re too cool for him
Kirk: so anyway
Kirk: hi
Uhura: hi!
Chekov: alpha shift begins in ten minutes, keptin. Should we inform Mister Spock of our new group chat trial???
Kirk: nah
Kirk: he’ll figure it out, he’s smart like that
Chekov: *somebody mentions Spock* keptin Kirk: 😍😍😍
Uhura: LMFAO
Kirk: I’m beginning to have regrets about this
Kirk: go to shift, guys
Uhura: hehe
— —
7:30 PM
Uhura: is anybody online? I’ve been requested to check the chat’s frequency between members both close and long range
Uhura: it’s urgent
Spock: What do you require, Lieutenant Uhura?
Uhura: oh! Spock! welcome to the chat. Need me to explain anything?
Spock: Unnecessary. From your previous conversation, I have adequately surmised this program’s function, as well as read up on more recent Terran social media terms for a more specific knowledge of your conversing. What can I help you with?
Spock: I have also connected my PADD with my bridge scanner for convenient access.
Uhura: wow, that was fast. good job!!!!
Uhura: okay, so I just need u to check ur PADD connection and give me the status link, and then send a couple more messages back and forth while I scan the code
Spock: understood.
Spock: status//http.ShipAnalysisCodingFrequency22389.0
Uhura: thank you!
Chekov: hehehehehehhe
Chekov: keptin Kirk is staring at mister Spock’s bottom rather intently
Uhura: CHEKOV MISTER SPOCK IS RIGHT HERE 😳
Chekov: OOP
[Chekov deleted a message]
Uhura: nice save pavel
Spock: Do you have the necessary frequency as of now, Lieutenant?
Uhura: aha yes I do. apologies about Chekov, he’s going to have better manners next time
Uhura: 👀 👀
Chekov: NO PROMISES
Uhura: 😔
— —
4:15 AM
Sulu: pavel ur snoring
Sulu: pavel get ur feet off my back it’s freezing
Sulu: pavel i swear to god
Leonard: ITS FOUR IN THE FUCKING MORNING I DID NOT NEED THIS INTERRUPTION
Sulu: shit sorry I didn’t realise notifications were on
Leonard: for crying out loud this is a nightmare
Kirk: sulu arw u sleepin with chekov????
Kirk: **are you sleeping with chekov
Uhura: bahahahah im glad I got the notification now
Sulu: you didn’t know we bunked together, Captain?
Kirk: uh no, I did not
Uhura: ☕️☕️☕️the tea
Uhura: it’s piping hot guys
Sulu: well sir, it’s like this
Kirk: spare me the details please it’s way too early to know my best lieutenants are canoodling
Sulu: *chokes* WHOT
Sulu: ITS NOT LIKE THAT I SWEAR
Chekov: yes it is keptin
Sulu: WHEN DID YOU WAKE UP PAVEL
Sulu: (get ur feet off me)
Uhura: o my gawd
Kirk: I don’t care as long as you’re safe
Kirk: be safe guys
Leonard: you’re giving them the sex talk at four in the morning? god Jim that’s a new low even for you
Uhura: my hands are over my ears, I can’t hear any of you
Uhura: im going to sleep
Leonard: so am I. Starfleet can kiss my ass.
Kirk: wait Uhura before you go
Uhura: yeah?
Kirk: is Starfleet monitoring this channel?
Chekov: pls no
Sulu: serves u right pavel ur feet are STILL ON ME
Uhura: just checked, don’t worry guys - it’s completely encrypted and private.
Leonard: hallelujah for that
— —