Chapter Text
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Beast of Deceit
Trending with Pure Vanilla Cookie, Vanilla Kingdom
2 – Celebrities – Trending
Shadow Milk Cookie
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3 – Reality TV – Trending
#DeceitCast
Trending with Black Sapphire Cookie
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NOT AGAIN
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Blintzfeed - Articles - Celebrity
posted ten hours ago
Pure Vanilla Returns to the Vanilla Kingdom, Beast in Tow?
“From a distance, I thought it was, like, maybe a cat. It was not a cat.”
By Kiwi Cookie
Blintzfeed Staff
💬 View all 112 Comments 🔁 Share
b/earthbreadnews • 2 hr ago
shining_glitterstan0_
Beast of Deceit rumored to be living in the Vanilla Castle
https:///www.blintzfeed.com/kiwicookie/pure-vanilla-returns-to-the-fs?origin=hfspl
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anisecookie • 2 hr ago
And the source is...Blintzfeed?
🔺1k 🔻3 💬 reply ⤿ Share
ataleoftwocookies • 2 hr ago
Blintzfeed hasn’t been credible since the golden cheese kingdom was active
🔺23 🔻561 💬 reply ⤿ Share
fetacheeseonda • 2 hr ago
you really couldn’t find anything else to compare this to?
🔺51 🔻 💬 reply ⤿ Share
sunnyraisin32• 2 hr ago
I don’t trust Blintzfeed either, but this isn’t as crazy as some of you are making it out to be.
🔺342 🔻23 💬 reply ⤿ Share
anisecookie • 1 hr ago
Pure Vanilla Cookie is in dire need of a council (or a government in general), but I don’t think even he’s this reckless tbh
🔺54 🔻 💬 reply ⤿ Share
sunnyraisin32• 2 hr ago
Oh, baby...I live here.
🔺847 🔻 12 💬 reply ⤿ Share
Blintzfeed News @blintzfeed • 2 hr ago
Our Lead Reporter Encounters The Vanilla Kingdom’s Guest...You’ll Never Guess What Happens Next! https://blintzfeed.com/asbestoscookie/our-lead-reporter-encounters-fs?origin=hfspl
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Parfaedia Gazette @parfaediagazette • 5 hr ago
Who is Shadow Milk Cookie? Parfaedia Institute of Magic’s lead soul jam experts answer: https://parfaediagazette/who-is-shadow-milk-cookie-parfadeia’s-institute-of-magic/
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The Divine Times @divinetimestcr • 6 hr ago
“A lapse in judgement” - Consul of the Creme Republic Speaks Out on the Beast of Deceit https://thedivinetimes/consul-of-the-creme-republic-speaks-out/
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SAW PARFAIT COOKIE 1/26 @snoopyfait • 4 hr ago
people worried about the vanilla kingdom like it don’t got a population of three
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black lemonade’s guitar pick @lemonado • 3 hr ago
Replying to @snoopyfait
girl it’s about to be two 😭
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finals week (semi ia) @conchacookie_0 • 4 hr ago
ive gotten really used to not being able to understand half the shit pure vanilla cookie does but genuinely why’d he bring a terrorist home
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Wizard Cookie ✔️ @therealwizardcookie2 • 1 hr ago
Replying to @conchacookie_0
We’ll let you know when we figure it out.
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stroopwafel album drop 3/14! @stanwafelstroop• 4 hr ago
so i just skimmed that parfaedia article about shadow milk cookie...
[ID: a GIF of popular streamer and online personality ‘Golchi’ trying not to laugh as FlanNite plays in the background.]
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pignolo @pignoloyolo • 4 hr ago
Replying to @stanwafelstroop
WHAT IS PURE VANILLA DOING
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💌 @canestrelli_cookie• 4 hr ago
replying to @pignoloyolo
There have been sightings of the Beast of Deceit outside the palace, so he isn't trapped there. There may have been reconciliation
behind the scenes.
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pignolo @pignoloyolo• 3 hr ago
replying to @canestrelli_cookie
wizard cookie posts about shadow milk like hes expecting a knife in his back at any moment reconciliation my ass 😭
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check pinned for conchalla tickets @pvtakeover • 3 hr ago
Why do some of you guys forget that pure vanilla came back successful from his beast-yeast campaign...what’s shadow milk gonna do to him #ThatsMyMonarch
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Representative Croquembouche Cookie ✔️ @repcroquemcookie • 2 hr ago
Pure Vanilla is one of the most irresponsible world leaders in this day and age. Even his counterparts, who suffered similarly at the hands of Dark Enchantress, have returned to stability. Meanwhile, instead of focusing his efforts on their current economic crisis, he invites dangerous criminals to gallivant through the street. I truly pity the people of the Vanilla Kingdom.
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SAW PARFAIT COOKIE 1/26 @snoopyfait • 4 hr ago
Replying to @repcroquemcookie
location: creme republic
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cr: agatha crispy - murder on the oatcake express @gajak0cookie • 1 hr ago
Don't understand how anyone is shocked about pure vanilla housing a terrorist like he didn’t room with one during his academy days
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faerie kingdom manifestation @pastrylilypilled • 1 hr ago
Replying to @gajak0cookie
and i hope she blows you up too
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salt cellar's girlfriend @saltcellarstan• 1 hr ago
Replying to @gajak0cookie
saying all this like @SILENTKNIGHT won’t have your account suspended in the next hour
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THE GREAT DESTROYER ✔️ @BurningSpiceCookie • 4 hr ago
LMFAOOOOOOOO
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TMZ ✔️ @TMZ • 1 hr ago
NEW Images of Shadow Milk Cookie and Pure Vanilla Cookie in the Vanilla Palace Gardens
[ID: A preview image is attached. Pure Vanilla Cookie waters a row of petunias, talking amiably with Shadow Milk, who hovers at his shoulder. They are both smiling.]
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Trending
1 – Trending
#WHAT THE FUCK
Trending with Pure Vanilla Cookie, Shadow Milk Cookie
crumblr > trending
1. #Shadownilla
#Pure Vanilla Cookie, #Shadow Milk Cookie, #Pureshadow
dance-of-the-sugarplum-cookie
nothing much just watering flowers with my archnemesis hbu?
#text #shadow milk cookie x pure vanilla cookie #shadownilla? is that the ship name #this is so surreal lmfaoo #pvc # beast cookies
538 notes
sprinkory-pinkory-dock
devastated not because pure vanilla is fraternizing with criminals but because he’s not single anymore
#text #shadownilla #defending pure vanilla on the internet isn’t enough anymore i need to fry myself
1,230 notes
vanillas-dunce-cap 🔁 sprinkory-pinkory-dock
devastated not because pure vanilla is fraternizing with criminals but because he’s not single anymore
first time?
#we just assume pure vanilla isn’t single at any given time #only other ancient with a crazier dating life is white lily
3,439 notes
turkish-delights-and-despairs
pure vanilla’s last dating scandal was with a cult leader so this is kind of an improvement right
#text #shadownilla
10,482 notes
fondant-still-got-it
Hate to rain on people’s parade but it’s obvious in some of the images that shadow milk noticed the photographer was there and started playing it up for the cameras
#text #shadownilla #the weird eyes in his hair are facing the camera in the more romantic shots
341 notes
marzipansexual 🔁 fondant-still-got-it
Hate to rain on people’s parade but it’s obvious in some of the images that shadow milk noticed the photographer was there and started playing it up for the cameras
this is even more gay holy shit
#text #shadownilla
12,328 notes
Consul Clotted Cream Cookie ✔️ @ClottedCreamrep • 5 hr ago
In the wake of this current news cycle, I would like to remind us all that Shadow Milk Cookie is, beyond anything else, the Beast of Deceit. Rumormongering is his strength, and the resulting chaos is carefully cultivated. I advise everyone to remain cautious of the information we consume.
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SHADOW MILK SUPREMACY ✔️ @badcapples • 1 hr ago
Replying to @ClottedCreamrep
[ID: A poorly edited screenshot from the sequel film Think Like a Man 2. It reads: “This is [Twizzler], bitch!! We [lie] in this muthafucka betta take yo [cautious] ass back to [the library.]”
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new vid up✔️ @mooncakecookieonyt• 1 hr ago
“shadow milk set all of this up”
[ID: A drawing of Timmy Turner from The Fairly Odd Parents, kneeling at his bedside and praying: “Please God let this happen because it would be so fucking funny.”]
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The Divine Times @divinetimestcr • 45 min ago
I consider [Shadow Milk Cookie] a close companion: Latest out of the Vanilla-Creme Summit: thecremerepublic.gov/vanilla-creme-summit-/
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annual hollyberry ball countdown @mapletaffycookie • 20 min ago
Replying to @divinetimestcr
“A transcriber, who wishes to remain anonymous, reported: 'At one point, I believe the Beast was raising the chamber temperature one degree for each minute that passed.'” HE DGAF AT ALL
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pureshadow associates and co. @cuberdoncookie • 20 min ago
Replying to @divinetimestcr
“I consider him a close companion” you cant make this shit up
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marmalade @marmaladelovesmystic • 3 hr ago
yeah they’re dating
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New Article on Sugarstack @sesameseedcookie • 20 min ago
The whole summit is just comedic. Nothing got done. Pure Vanilla barely addressed their concerns. Rejected every proposal for beast removal. All Shadow Milk did was occasionally throw shade and smack his lips really loudly at random intervals. Clotted Cream sounds like he wants to scream in every clip. Masterful.
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Wolves Among Sheep: Life in the Vanilla Kingdom Post-Beast Yeast
Rosette Cookie • Posted on February 3rd, 20XX
FOR GOLDEN RAISIN COOKIE, mornings follow a familiar routine.
He emerges from his room in the Crow’s Nest, the Vanilla Kingdom’s hot-spot inn located in its town square, and sets about cleaning the front bar. Downstairs, fellow villagers are baking fresh raisin bread and preparing the week’s menu. Those in the live band fine-tune their instruments, filling the air with the gentle thrum of music. These days, there are a few added caveats – occasionally, windows might disappear from the walls. The subjects in paintings wave back as you walk past. Entire trays of raisin bread disappear from where they rest upon the cooling rack.
“It’s not awful,” Golden Raisin says. “The windows come back, and at least we know the bread’s good. But sometimes it’s a bit of a hassle. One time, Sun Raisin Cookie turned on the tap, and hot tea came out instead of water. Burned him real bad. Once in a while it’s fudge, or ice cream. You gotta wait a little bit before it’s water again.”
Golden Raisin informed us that these changes started taking effect when the Beast of Deceit, formally known as Shadow Milk Cookie, began residing in Vanilla Palace. Though he had never been seen near the inn, his magic’s influence had proven far-reaching.
“The sidewalk bricks change colors. Rooms get too big or too small. The roads change, and suddenly that salon you thought was [over there] is now on the other side of town.”
Read More
nanaimoimo: even if it isn’t on purpose, his magic is obviously making life harder for the people there...does the king not know?
Oatmealco0kie: he’s probably the most familiar with that type of magic since he did battle with the beast. Which makes all of this super confusing
Cool Cream Cookie: LOL! Amazing article! I have one just like it: 17djshak.com
💬 View all 31 Comments
b/shadowmilkcookie • 3 hr ago
KelPcookiE10
Shadow Milk Cookie was the first headmaster of the Blueberry Academy
So recently I've been trying to learn more about Shadow Milk, since it kind of does feel like he’s come out of nowhere. It’s a little odd to me that this guy was the previous – original – holder of the soul jam, and yet there isn’t too much info on him besides basic descriptions and vague references to him in epic poetry, astrology charts, ancient medical texts, etc. It’s like he was wiped from cookiekind’s literary databases.
My great-great-great-great grandmother used to be a student at the Blueberry Academy of Magic. She was actually a student at the same time White Lily Cookie was, though they were never acquainted. Our family lives in Parfaedia now, but we still have all her old things. I was cleaning out our attic when I found a yearbook from her mage days, and lo and behold – on the first page there’s a photograph of the late First Master of the Blueberry Academy. And he looks exactly like Shadow Milk Cookie.
Read More:
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cocadaaacookie • 5 hr ago
I think it’s a bit of a stretch to say they look exactly alike, but there are some similarities.
🔺5.1k 🔻392 💬 reply ⤿ Share
anisecookie• 2 hr ago
The singular eye is what’s making this hard for me to believe.
🔺1.3k🔻61 💬 reply ⤿ Share
hhohoflakes• 1 hr ago
Shadow milk has eyes in his damn hair this can’t be where you draw the line
🔺284 🔻 💬 reply ⤿ Share
halvacoo00kie• 2 hr ago
god he’s so much older than pure vanilla
🔺732🔻121 💬 reply ⤿ Share
anisecookie • 1 hr ago
It's kind of uncomfortable.
🔺32 🔻 529 💬 reply ⤿ Share
halvacoo00kie • 2 hr ago
I meant it in a “I can’t believe someone that old is that immature” kind of way, not in a “we should call the police” kind of way.
🔺1.3k🔻 32 💬 reply ⤿ Share
poolekimeki • 2 hr ago
Free this thousand year old man from this thousand year old man
🔺1k🔻 12 💬 reply ⤿ Share
GOT SHINING GLITTER TICKETS @goobstopper • 20 min ago
Has anyone else noticed that it’s been straight radio silence from the other ancients
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sdvn pr cookie @rockflopcookie • 1 min ago
Replying to @goobstopper
ok oomf but what would you even say to this. congratulations?
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Golchi Updates 🧀✔️ @golch1updates • 1 hr ago
Golden Cheese Cookie remarks on Pure Vanilla’s relationship with Shadow Milk Cookie in new stream clip: “I love Pure Vanilla Cookie. He’s one of my greatest treasures. But I will never understand it.”
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streaming sunday! ✔️ @charcuteriecookie• 20 min ago
Replying to @golch1updates
SMOKED CHEESE AND MOZZARELLA TWEAKING OUT IN THE BACKGROUND !!J$*#)
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⌛ @sandeshcookie • 20 min ago
Replying to @golch1updates
dating smoked cheese but talking about evil boyfriends mmm im sure
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streaming sunday ✔️ @charcuteriecookie • 20 min ago
Replying to @sandeshcookie
smoked cheese redeemed himself can we say the same about shadow flop cookie
[ID: Poorly edited thumbnail of Shadow Milk Cookie. On the left of his image, it reads, What Does He Even Do?]
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TUNE IN LIVE 2/12 ✔️ @DeceitCast • 4 hr ago
This is it, folks! The moment you’ve been waiting for – tune in at midnight for our most anticipated guest this year... 👤🥛🍪
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DECEITCAST – Episode 234: A Date with Deceit [Transcript]
BLACK SAPPHIRE: Testing, testing, 1...2...3...
BLACK SAPPHIRE: And we’re live! Good morning, afternoon, or night, my esteemed listeners. I’m certain you’ve all been holding your breath for this episode ever since it was announced. We’ve had a few technical difficulties along the way, but without further ado, may I introduce our illustrious guest: the Master of Deceit, Lord of Lies and Libel, Prince of Knaves -
SHADOW MILK: Ahem.
BLACK SAPPHIRE: Shadow Milk Cookie!
[A clapping backtrack plays.]
SHADOW MILK: Thank you, thank you. You shouldn’t have.
BLACK SAPPHIRE: Oh, but I did. The media’s been abuzz with your name, and your schedule has been chock full recently. You’re a cookie in high demand.
SHADOW MILK: Aren’t I always? [LAUGHTER]
BLACK SAPPHIRE: Who’d deny that? Truly, your reputation has soared to enviable heights. Does anyone even talk about those other cookies anymore? What were they referred to as, again? Jog a poor host’s memory.
SHADOW MILK: Ah, living up to their name. Ancient news.
BLACK SAPPHIRE: [LAUGHTER] Poor them. Or perhaps they’re grateful that you’ve occupied the spotlight. Gives them a modicum of peace in their retirement ventures. Speaking of such, every cookie on Earthbread is dying to know what you plan for your future in the Vanilla Kingdom. You’ve proven quite illusive.
SHADOW MILK: I can’t give away all my machinations – that would make a very poor production, don’t you think? To spill it all in the first act?
BLACK SAPPHIRE: My thoughts exactly. But perhaps you could sate the audience, and answer a few questions.
SHADOW MILK: If you insist.
BLACK SAPPHIRE: This one was submitted by numerous users – what are your intentions with a certain happy-go-lucky king?
SHADOW MILK: Intentions – such a loaded term. Almost accusatory!
BLACK SAPPHIRE: Some suspect you plan to have Pure Vanilla Cookie assassinated.
[SHADOW MILK COOKIE gasps.]
BLACK SAPPHIRE: I know. It pains me to read it, too.
SHADOW MILK: The audacity! To assume I’d need to turn to murder of all things. That’s so last century. No, no, I don’t have to rely on violence to make him do exactly as I please.
BLACK SAPPHIRE: You’re a persuasive cookie indeed. Words are quite effective, if you know how to wield them.
SHADOW MILK: Who said anything about words? Next question.
BLACK SAPPHIRE: Right. A few researchers from the Parfaedia Institute of Magic wonder about the reach of your magnificent abilities. There have been numerous records showing that your stay in the Vanilla Kingdom is having a few unintended side-effects on the landscape.
SHADOW MILK: Mm...such as?
BLACK SAPPHIRE: Transmuting buildings, creatures that metamorphosize into monsters at random, machinery that acts out of order...the list goes on. It’s rather extensive. They wish to know if you plan on, as one put it, ‘reining it in.’
SHADOW MILK: My magic is a gift, and only a handful of cookies can appreciate it. This sleepy kingdom ought to be grateful that I’ve woken them up to witness my splendor. [PAUSE] Plus, I’m the only reason they even have internet access. If they’re going to complain, I’ll have to maximize damage control. Don’t they care about their darling king’s reputation?
BLACK SAPPHIRE: Selfishness knows no bounds! You’ve given them a great boon.
SHADOW MILK: Right?
BLACK SAPPHIRE: Here’s another one – how do you feel about your fellow Beasts’ reactions to your predicament?
SHADOW MILK: Ha! Well, firstly, there is no predicament. That implies I’m here by anyone’s will other than my own, which is simply not the case, and will never be. Secondly, I haven’t a clue. Except for Burning Spice...what was it he said again?
[BLACK SAPPHIRE clears his throat.]
BLACK SAPPHIRE: “Laughing my [AUDIO BLEEP] ass off.”
SHADOW MILK: Could’ve sworn there was a trail of O’s.
BLACK SAPPHIRE: Then I suppose it would be, “Laughing my [AUDIO BLEEP] ass off, off, off, off, off, off, off, off, off-”
SHADOW MILK: What’s he got to laugh about, anyway? He’s doomscrolling Twizzler, and his other-half remains more successful than him.
BLACK SAPPHIRE: Jealousy is a tricky poison. Perhaps he’s envious of the close bond you’ve cultivated with your half.
SHADOW MILK: Aw, shucks.
BLACK SAPPHIRE: We have plenty more juicy questions to get through, but before that! A quick message from our sponsors at the Garden of Delights...
blapphire's mic @deceittriostan • 2 hr ago
“WHO SAID ANYTHING ABOUT WORDS” ????????????? IS HE CRAZY
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did not survive episode 234 @lemondropsw0 • 2 hr ago
Im ngl i was genuinely curious about how some of those vanillians were tweeting when their kingdom is KNOWN for having some of the worst connection besides dark cacao. i would shut up about shadow milk if i were living there
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Golden Cheese Cookie✔️ @radiant_goddess • 1 hr ago
[ID: Looped clip from DECEITCAST Episode 234 of Black Sapphire Cookie repeating “Laughing my [AUDIO BLEEP] ass off, off, off...”]
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SAW PARFAIT COOKIE 1/26 @snoopyfait • 2 hr ago
I haven’t seen anyone talk about the fact that it was implied Shadow Milk is on Twizzler. “Could’ve recalled there being more O’s” he’s seen Burning Spice’s post. He’s HERE
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shadow milk cookie @fountofdeceit • 1 hr ago
Replying to @snoopyfait
Obviously
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Trending
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FOUNTOFDECEIT
Trending with Shadow Milk Cookie, Episode 234
