1 - 20 of 174 Bookmarked Items in Alpha Timeline (Homestuck)
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- Bookmarks:
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Summary
"Why is this shitfuck pan-rotting pile of artifact-ridden, glitchy, nonsensical sewage that can barely pass itself off as a movie somehow a thoughtful criticism on the global rise of authoritarianism and well-put commentary on how young working class males are forced into the military? What the actual fuck? Why do none of the other reviews mention this?"
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Aka famous movie director "D Strider" pays Karkat to review his shitty movies, and Karkat grows increasingly alarmed that they actually mean something under all of the mind-numbing bullshit. Meeting Strider, the biggest douchebag in the world, does not help. Also he keeps meeting this annoyingly smart human kid and his awkward/obnoxious but very hot guardian. These two things are entirely unrelated.
Series
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 117,856
- Chapters:
- 26/26
- Comments:
- 1,442
- Kudos:
- 1,524
- Bookmarks:
- 323
- Hits:
- 34,484
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finished this one i just reallyyyy like it. probs will re-read.
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14
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Summary
Three nominations. Three. And at the end of the day, he spent another year empty-handed. Fuck what a mess. His third movie, a fucking masterpiece of sincerely ironic bullshit. The layers of double meaning and over-exaggerated stupidity were a fucking wonder to behold. He swallows a mouthful of beer and grimaces.
By the sixth bottle, he is far less sloshed than he wants to be. At the rate he's been downing beer it won't be long until he stains his couch. He could get up to piss. He really should but... Something stops him. Something low and hot that tightens the front of his pants more than his bladder already has.
He takes another sip.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 2,261
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Collections:
- 1
- Comments:
- 11
- Kudos:
- 90
- Bookmarks:
- 14
- Hits:
- 2,777
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TT: May I go out of line to presume someone fell asleep with his credit cards in plain sight again?
TG: yeah yeah dont be hating
TG: all in the strider parenting method lalonde
TT: Uh huh.
TG: i havent even checked how much they bought though
TG: how expensive do you think a couple hundred cases of legos are
TT: I highly doubt it matters. You act like you wouldn’t buy them the moon if they asked for it.
TG: shh shh shhh dont give them any ideas god -
Summary
This is a collection of stories set in the alpha timeline. They all share continuity, which is probably most obvious in the idea of Jade, Dave, and Rose having been friends, lovers, and co-conspirators for several years before Jade's death, but they are organized by writing date rather than any attempt at internal chronological order. Additionally, they are all fluffy (for certain values of fluff), because even a dystopian timeline cannot have been unrelentingly awful, and I strongly believe in the Power of Friendship.
So, yeah. Alpha Timeline Fluff. Like it says on the tin. :)
- Words:
- 29,597
- Works:
- 16
- Bookmarks:
- 52
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Bookmark Notes:
Work/Series Details
Alpha Timeline Fluff by Elizabeth Culmer (edenfalling)
Updated: 2016-05-02
Work/Series ID: 33838Relationship Tags:
• Jane Crocker & Dave Strider
• Jade Harley & Dave Strider
• Jade English & Jake English
• Jade English & Alpha Dave Strider
• Roxy Lalonde & Dirk Strider & Jane Crocker & Jake English
• John Egbert & Dave Strider
• Jade English & Rose Lalonde
• Jade English/Rose Lalonde
• Jane Crocker & Dad Crocker
• Rose Lalonde & Dave Strider
• Rose Lalonde & Jade English
• Dave Strider & Jade English
• Jade English & John Crocker
• Alpha Rose Lalonde & Alpha Dave Strider
• Jade English/Dave Strider
• Alpha Dave Strider/Grandma
• Dave Strider & Dirk Strider
• Alpha Dave Strider & Dirk Strider
• Alpha Rose Lalonde/Grandma English | Jade Harley/Alpha Dave Strider
• Rose Lalonde/Jade Harley/Dave Strider
• Jane Crocker & Rose Lalonde
• Jane Crocker & Alpha Rose Lalonde
• Jane Crocker & Roxy Lalonde
• Jade Harley/Rose Lalonde/Dave Strider
• Jade English & Dave Strider & Rose Lalonde
• Jade English/Dave Strider/Rose Lalonde
• Jane Crocker & Dirk StriderWork/Series Summary:
This is a collection of stories set in the alpha timeline. They all share continuity, which is probably most obvious in the idea of Jade, Dave, and Rose having been friends, lovers, and co-conspirators for several years before Jade's death, but they are organized by writing date rather than any attempt at internal chronological order. Additionally, they are all fluffy (for certain values of fluff), because even a dystopian timeline cannot have been unrelentingly awful, and I strongly believe in the Power of Friendship.
So, yeah. Alpha Timeline Fluff. Like it says on the tin. :)
Series Notes:
Okay, chronological order, because I am a twitchy and semi-compulsive organizer:
1. Some Company Would Be Nice
2. The Beginning of a Beautiful Friendship
3. Veritas vos liberabit
4. To the Lees
5. Worth It, After All
6. Every Child a Wanted Child
7. In Spite of Time, and Death, and the Space Between the Stars
8. Gladly Beyond
9. Mad Science Family Reunion
10. Who You Are in the Dark
11. The stream of everything that runs away
12. Recipe for Success
13. Contact for Proof
14. Hollywood Shenanigans
15. A Problem That You'll Understand
16. Food and Cheer and SongParsing a single coherent timeline might get awkward if I write any fics about Dave and Rose set after Jane and Jake enter the Medium, or about Roxy and Dirk growing up in the future, but at the moment it's still fairly straightforward.
(...All right, yes, technically "The stream of everything that runs away" is a timeline-breaker, but I'm filing it based on the point in Dave's timeline when he accidentally zaps himself to the future rather than the point in Dirk's timeline when Dave briefly visits. It's my series, I can do what I want. *makes silly faces*)
[Content Note: The Rose/Jade/Dave threesome is a true threesome, and therefore technically includes Rose/Dave incest. Neither Rose nor Dave are aware of their genetic relationship, they were not raised as siblings, and there's never any on-page sex... but I understand that may still be a dealbreaker. If so, please skip any of the component fics marked with the full threesome ship and pretend they're a in a triangle relationship instead, with Jade at the apex. (Which is, in fact, what happened until Jade decided that scenario was inefficient and roped her two lovers into bed at the same time).]
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Summary
“We do what we can,” Rose says. “We prepare. We fight like hell, to the end.”
“To the end,” Dave repeats. “I think I can manage that.”Rose, Dave, and the end of the world.
Series
- Part 1 of Homestuck
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Summary
How do you even miss a person you never even met before.
That’s stupid.
And why the fuck does your brother’s best friend looks exactly like him?
That’s even stupider.
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Bookmark Notes:
You closed your eyes and rested your head over the table, fighting back the tears.
You will not cry.
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Summary
You’ve seen them before, in countless dreams like this, but this is the first time they’re so clear. They’re so big, they seem almost inhuman, not to mention their color. Deep black pupils against golden, almost glowing, sclera. Even though they’re nothing like a pair of human eyes, there’s a softness there. This is someone who cares about you. You don’t want to look away.
Your name is Dave Strider and you feel like you’re forgetting something important.
((au where alpha dave picks up a certain troll))
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Summary
DIRK: Oh. Nah. I don't do that shit.
JAKE: Do *what* shit??
DIRK: Sleep.-
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Summary
Captured by the enemy, political activist and combatant David Strider has been kept by Her Imperious Condescension as a prisoner of war, his brutal treatment broadcast to the world at large. Years later, Dirk rescues him, and nurses him back to health.
𝄋 "Rape/Non-Con" tags do not refer to the tagged pairings.
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the torment of existence weighed against the horror of nonbeing by quixxotique (crownlessliestheking)
Fandoms: Homestuck
13 Apr 2023
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Summary
On the very edges of Paradox Space, at the border of unreality at the shattered remnants of a dead-end timeline, where The Void has settled in comfortably, a not-quite dreamer and a not-quite ghost meet. Surprisingly, they get along.
Alternatively: Google, how do you tell someone that you might be falling in love with them because you keep accidentally (and now not so accidentally) meeting up with their only-sometimes-alternate/splinter self that's stranded in the Void?
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Summary
FUCK ALL OF YOU FOR MAKING ME WATCH SBAHJ: THE MOVOVIE OR HOWEVER THAT DUMBFUCK SPELLED IT. I HAVE LITERALLY NOTHING POSITIVE TO SAY ABOUT THIS MOUNTAINOUS PILE OF GARBAGE. DROWNING IN LITERAL SEWAGE ROTTING IN HUMAN HELL WITH NARY A CHAINSMOKING SUBWAY RAT TO SAVE ME WOULD BE MORE PLEASANT THAN WATCHING THIS FUCKING MOVIE.
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Aka famous movie director "D Strider" pays Karkat to review his shitty movies, and Karkat grows increasingly alarmed that they actually mean something under all of the mind-numbing bullshit.
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Bookmark Notes:
Ch,2
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Summary
Set about 6 weeks into the alpha session. I thought a bit about how Roxy said the "writing was on the wall" with these two from the start and what the earlier days must have been like. And then promptly wrote like twelve thousand words where half is just shameless smut so hey ENJOY
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 11,912
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Collections:
- 1
- Comments:
- 23
- Kudos:
- 493
- Bookmarks:
- 66
- Hits:
- 5,046
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Bookmark Notes:
:-)
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Bookmark Notes:
Aaughrrr ripping my hair out violently,, while also keeping my pants on still
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Summary
You were never supposed to remember.
This isn't how the game was supposed to work.
The Scratch is called a hard reset for a reason. It means starting over from square one with a clean slate. Memories don’t come with the package, or aren’t supposed to, but you guess the game made you some kind of special exception (hahaha hehehe), because you remember. You remember everything, and you don’t know what to think.
Except that something must have gone terribly wrong.
Part II: You chase the meteor like it's a falling star.
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Ch.2
Homestuck Dave remembering scratched timeline
LEDE by undersaffiresky
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Summary
You die and wake up as a baby alien. Then a teenage alien tells you that you have to pretend to be a fascist or you’ll doom the timeline. Also, the world is ending.
Welcome to Alternia, Eridan! Enjoy your new lease on life, because this is all you’re getting.
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Or: You aren’t really responsible for whoever dies if you pull the wrong lever in the trolley problem, (Blame the person who’s going around tying people to the fucking tracks) sometimes keeping secrets is how you keep yourself sane, and you always have a choice. It’s just a matter of what you’re willing to lose by making it.Series
- Part 1 of You Always Have a Choice
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Ch
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Summary
When Jade Crocker finally escaped the clutches of the Batterwitch she fled to Hellmurder Island. Here she lived happily in isolation, spending her time tinkering and studying nuclear physics.
That is, untill three trolls crash-landed on her island and need her help to get to shore.
Series
- Part 3 of Bag o gifts
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Hold the Line (As Dreamers Do) by Elizabeth Culmer (edenfalling) for dashery
Fandoms: Homestuck
30 Jul 2016
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Summary
1994: The Betty Crocker conglomerate invites Dr. Jade English, celebrated astrophysicist and CEO of Skaianet Technologies, to teach one year of classes at their first foray into private education, Marjorie Husted University in Houston, Texas.
Jade says yes.
Meanwhile, the Condesce is staging a corporate takeover of Disney.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 2,474
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Collections:
- 1
- Comments:
- 8
- Kudos:
- 98
- Bookmarks:
- 15
- Hits:
- 811
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Summary
Jane and Dirk cheer each other up after a bad day.
Series
- Part 16 of Alpha Timeline Fluff
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Work/Series Details
A Problem That You'll Understand by Elizabeth Culmer (edenfalling)
Published: 2016-05-02
Work/Series ID: 6721084Relationship Tags:
Work/Series Summary:
Jane and Dirk cheer each other up after a bad day.
(Approximate) Last Read: 2025/03/18
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Bookmark Notes:
This is sweet
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Summary
When you finally get a group of friends together after possibly the worst day of your collective lives, obviously the next step is to light a fire, toast marshmallows, and sing. Or at least it's obvious to Roxy.
Series
- Part 3 of Alpha Timeline Fluff
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 2,112
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Collections:
- 1
- Comments:
- 24
- Kudos:
- 207
- Bookmarks:
- 16
- Hits:
- 1,894
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Summary
Jade English never expected to have children, let alone grandchildren. She has her company, her allies, and her fight against Crockercorp to fill the void left when her brother refused to run away with her. Then she rescues a baby from a meteor crater and finds herself rearranging her life.
Series
- Part 2 of Alpha Timeline Fluff
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 2,015
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Collections:
- 1
- Comments:
- 29
- Kudos:
- 211
- Bookmarks:
- 19
- Hits:
- 2,045