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It’s so easy to kill humans.
Techno would know, since he does it for a living.
It’s very easy to kill them, scare them, chase them, crush their brittle little bones when his rot overtakes their bodies. That doesn’t mean it’s any less annoying when one starts messing with his hunting grounds.
Technoblade huffed through his snout and lumbered through the woods in the direction where he felt another human trash. He didn’t have a lot of time, so he intended for this one to be a quick snack for fungi and his brothers. It would be easy.
His steps rattled the earth, he wasn’t trying to be stealthy this time. It didn’t apparently matter because the human was completely oblivious to anything happening around him.
___
Or: Human Philza gets reverse adopted by a bunch of cryptids- with only a little bit of attempted murder!- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 12,468
- Chapters:
- 5/?
- Collections:
- 1
- Comments:
- 77
- Kudos:
- 414
- Bookmarks:
- 86
- Hits:
- 4,635
Bookmarked by AbsoluteFandomMess
28 Jul 2024
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the world forgetting by the world forgot by bonesandthebees (bonesandcacti)
Fandoms: Minecraft (Video Game), Dream SMP
10 May 2022
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Summary
“Something has been stolen from us,” Thanatos said, his wings puffing up as he spoke. “Something that is very important to us. And we are fairly certain that the person who stole this thing of ours is in this very crowd.”
Dream tensed beside Tommy as the crowd broke out into murmurs. Eyes were darting towards the different heroes in the crowd, the benefactors no doubt assuming that the culprit had to be a hero.
“Like we said, we haven’t crashed your party to cause trouble. But we want this thing returned to us, and we won’t hesitate to take extreme measures to get what we want.”
or, Tommy was a lot of things: a newly debuted hero sidekick, an amnesiac, and a former kidnapping victim of the Syndicate.
Tommy didn't actually remember that last one though. That was just what Dream told him.
Only weeks after his hero debut, the Syndicate announces they are searching for something, and Tommy knows it has to be him. The scariest part? If they find him, Tommy will have no clue what to expect, because the Syndicate might know him, but he has no memories of them.
So he can't let them find him. No matter what.
Of course they end up finding him anyway.
Series
- Part 1 of a spotless mind
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Technoblade knew that he had made a mistake when he had bribed Tommy with doing anything he wanted if he didn't tell Phil that he had caught Technoblade sneaking in well after what his curfew was supposed to be. (Sue him for forgetting the time while out trolling Skeppy, it was well worth it with how annoyed he had managed to make the man in the end.) It was the only thing he could think of at the moment and now he was paying the price for it.
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Or, Technoblade begrudgingly teaches Tommy to shoot a crossbow and they bond -
it's 3:45, his car has not arrived (i don't think he is coming) by mxmxkxwx
Fandoms: Minecraft (Video Game), Video Blogging RPF
28 Mar 2022
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Summary
Tommy's used to the foster kid life.
In and out of shitty homes.
And by the looks of it, his new one is starting to seem just like the others.
And it just so happened to rain too.
Series
- Part 1 of mimi's foster au
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Summary
It was perfect. Or it would have been perfect if they weren't with two very strong and very powerful werewolves. But like it was mentioned, Wilbur’s energy was sapped away, leaving no room in his head for cognitive thought, just a happy fuzzy feeling, and warmth.
For the first time in years, he felt safe.
And if he tried hard enough, he could ignore the warning bells ringing in his head. He could ignore his instinct begging him to get Tommy to safety. He could ignore it all as his eyelids drooped, too heavy to keep open anymore. And when they closed, he was pulled into sleep’s void. A gentle place full of darkness and calm, where everything was in motion, but nothing moved.Or:
Technoblade and Phil saw an injured pup and his feral older brother protecting him and went "ours now, come here".
(Werewolf SBI AU cause they're ain't enough of them and I will die on this hill godamn it. READ THE TAGS, It's gonna get dark, possibly really fucking dark, so just be aware, ok?) -
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“What if we screw things up? Gods, Tommy is so fucking happy now. What if—what if this ruins that?”
“We’ll figure it out together, Phil,” Kristin assures him. “The way Tommy has always talked about him—how much he’s dreamed of seeing him… even if it’s hard, we can’t take this away from him. Even if things get messy.”
“We’ve got each other. We’ve always gotten through stuff together. This’ll be no exception, you’ll see.”
—
OR: Kristin, Phil, and Technoblade adopted Tommy as a toddler. Years later, they get a call. Wilbur, Tommy's blood brother, needs a home of his own.
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Kintsugi by orphan_account for ChocolatesLovechild
Fandoms: Minecraft (Video Game), Video Blogging RPF
06 Jan 2022
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His head tips at the sound of stumbling steps, something numb seeping through him at the masked stranger who halts, hand wrapped tight around the handle of something metallic that levels down against him.
A yellow sweater.
“Don’t move.”
Tommy knows that sweater.
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Or: Tommy is supposed to be dead.
Somehow he isn't.
And he finds himself faced with the broken pieces of (his) family in another world entirely.
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Summary
Tommy is a Siren.
Phil, Wilbur and Technoblade are all avians or bird hybrids.
Unluckily for Tommy, they are his family.
Why so unlucky?
Avians are sworn enemies of Sirens.
Orphaned by murella, 28/11/23. it's time to move on.
this one had so much potential!! gotta see it go?! -
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Summary
Wilbur’s standing absolutely still, like a stone statue, eyes wide, hands shaking, water dripping off from his hair. Kids are chattering and laughing, phones being raised high as everyone crowds around. One person is laughing louder than all the rest, and Wilbur looks up with something mortified.
The expression on Wil’s face is recorded more than once. The disbelief and shock is preserved perfectly on camera, and there’s no doubt it will be the most popular image in the school for weeks.
At least, that’s what everyone is assuming, until Technoblade comes running into frame, slamming a fist right into Dream’s face.
(Or, a twinduo highschool AU, in which Techno is just Wilbur's twin who likes to stay in the background. Until one day he throws hands for Wilbur, because no way is he going to let his twin get bullied without acting out some Violence.)
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“Oh no, I guess we have to kiss now, how awful for us,” Sapnap exaggerated, earning an airy chuckle from the blonde. He sneakily moved his hand to be around the shorter’s torso before he leaned down, connecting their lips softly - yet still passionately. A warm and gentle hum of happiness emitted from the back of Clay's mind, cheeks becoming red as he gladly took the breath of his loved one.
Or
Clay and Sapnap aren’t out to his family. The ones that are coming over for Christmas. Oh no.
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Summary
Quackity will put himself in debt with Dream if it means getting his husbands, Wilbur and Jschlatt, back, but what will be the cost of his actions? Will they even be worth it if the two revived men cannot atone for their sins?
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- Words:
- 24,625
- Works:
- 3
- Bookmarks:
- 12
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light without darkness (is a dangerous thought) by euryydice
Fandoms: Minecraft (Video Game), Dream SMP
18 Nov 2021
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Summary
“Ah yes, your childhood. A world of mysteries.”
“You know I don’t remember any of it,” Phil chided softly, smiling back. “Living forever is hard, there’s only so much my brain can hold.”
“Living forever, huh? Do, tell me about it.” Kristin rested her head on her hands, smiling impishly down at the winged figure before her.
“Oh shut, Mrs ‘I was here since the dawn of time’.” Phil’s teasing was playful, and Kristin laughed, the sound echoing in the vast reaches of nothingness that surrounded the couple.
-- -- --
Love is a difficult thing when you're immortal. Sometimes you don't always get it right
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Uhhhh Philza Minecraft x2?????? by orphan_account for my boredom
Fandoms: Video Blogging RPF, DreamSMP
23 Jul 2022
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Summary
When the blinding lights cleared and a magnificent palace surrounded by Ice and snow against a brilliant blue sky, Tommy knew this was going to be one heck of a Sunday.
When he looked around and found Ranboo, Tubbo and Michael gazing in awe next to him, he knew that this might just be the coolest thing that has ever happened to him.
When he turned and discovered Technoblade, Philza, Dream, Wilbur, Niki and Quackity were standing right behind him, he changed his mind.
Fuck. This is going to suck major ass isn’t it?
Short answer: Yes
Long answer: well that would be a spoiler innit
___________________________________________________________________________
Or: Tommy gets sucked into an alternate universe where SBI are Rulers. Adoption follows.
Or:or: I read a fic and im bored and boom this happened.
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a family reunion (it didn't go exactly to plan) by youreyeslookliketheocean
Fandoms: Dream SMP, Minecraft (Video Game)
03 Dec 2021
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Summary
Technoblade and Philza are two of The Syndicate's finest assassins. But after tracking a runaway Wilbur Soot across the United States for nearly three months with no luck, Technoblade is about ready to give up. That is, until he comes face to face with him at a Walmart check-out. When Phil reveals Wilbur is his son, though, tensions grow between the three as they figure out what to do with this boy they've somehow kidnapped.
Part 2 of the "we tried to kill you in a walmart parking lot (it didn't go exactly to plan)" series.
Series
- Part 2 of SBI Assassin AU go brrr
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Day's Gone, Light's Passed by kyoromii
Fandoms: Minecraft (Video Game), Video Blogging RPF
13 Nov 2021
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Summary
We are left to wonder,
when did it all go wrong?
or
Tracing the steps back to the beginning
**A sequel/prequel to 'All Good Devils Masquerade Under the Light'**
Series
- Part 2 of The Sleepy Coven
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I built a friend (with three pieces of plastic and a pen) by rabiddog for Marcas
Fandoms: Minecraft (Video Game), Video Blogging RPF
25 Dec 2021
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Summary
"You're not stranded," Tommy repeated, "There's a town about 2 miles that way," He gestured off to the side, "So, there you go. Have fun walking."
Ranboo shook his head. "Wait- wait, hold on-"
"No holding. I found you a solution. You're welcome, now piss off."
"I'll die out there! I'll- I'll collapse from dehydration or heat exhaustion, or- or I'll be eaten alive by zombies!"
Tommy glared. "It's the end of the world, not a fuckin' zombie apocalypse, dick head."
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Tommy is not very appreciative of the lanky, obnoxious, shades-wearing, oxygen-stealing waste of space banging on his door at god knows what time. (He lets him in anyway, of course, though it seems that this time, he's bitten off a little more than he can chew.)
Series
- Part 76 of DSMP