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How to Win Friends and Influence Assassins (AKA: the Shitbird Survival Guide) by there_must_be_a_lock for TheologyDiscography
Fandoms: DCU, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
27 Jan 2026
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Summary
The Asset stares at the child. The child is, presumably, staring back from behind the creepy white lenses of his domino mask, but it’s impossible to know for sure.
“Where in the everloving shit are your parents?” the Asset demands.
“Dead,” the kid says promptly, and grins at him again before darting forward to examine the restraints. “I got this, don’t worry.”
“I got questions for your legal guardian,” the Asset growls.
[Or: the Avengers acquire an emotional support Robin. Robin acquires an unwanted babysitter. The Winter Soldier just wants a nap.]
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 9,461
- Chapters:
- 4/4
- Collections:
- 1
- Comments:
- 174
- Kudos:
- 527
- Bookmarks:
- 106
- Hits:
- 3,622
Bookmarked by Stinky_Horowitz
23 Feb 2026
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Take what you want from me by BlueSundayCake
Fandoms: Wiedźmin | The Witcher - All Media Types
06 Feb 2023
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Summary
When the first ever Witcher walks into his brothel, Jaskier is all too eager to take him to his room and spoil him. In which Jaskier is a whore at a brothel in Novigrad called Montero and Lambert is his first out of many Witchers. Good thing he wants to spoil them all rotten and has a lot of love to give.
Series
- Part 1 of Strangers make you feel so loved
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 5,331
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Collections:
- 2
- Comments:
- 35
- Kudos:
- 900
- Bookmarks:
- 61
- Hits:
- 6,979
Bookmarked by Stinky_Horowitz
17 Feb 2026
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You Look Familiar by EvilDime
Fandoms: Iron Man (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe, Captain America (Chris Evans Movies)
23 Mar 2024
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Summary
What really made Tony want to barf out what little he had eaten today was the fact that the passenger was missing his left arm. Tony knew that man, that voice, that body. The man might not be a hooker now, but at one point, he had been.
And Tony had been buying.
Look at him.
You pointed him out to me.
This wasn't a rescue. It also wasn't a kidnapping, or a kinky sex thing.
This was revenge....In which Tony gets rescued from a bad customer by a couple of men who turn out to be even more dangerous. Or so Tony thinks.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 35,958
- Chapters:
- 4/4
- Collections:
- 1
- Comments:
- 29
- Kudos:
- 348
- Bookmarks:
- 57
- Hits:
- 8,710
Bookmarked by Stinky_Horowitz
17 Feb 2026
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Summary
A bulky black shadow moves, rising up over the edge of your hiding place, right past where your feet lay. It huffs quietly, halting for a few seconds to catch its breath, before heaving itself up over the edge of your one safe place.
Your ears are ringing with how terrified you are. Even though you’re lying down, blood somehow manages to rush from your face, and all you have the presence of mind to do is silently tuck your feet in as tight as they’ll go, holding your breath and just praying this monster will fall to his death, or somehow not notice you, or—
The shadow’s knee finds purchase on the surface where you’re lying, and his arm is so long that when he reaches out to haul himself the rest of the way up, his hand makes contact with the front of your shin.
-—•—-
Bleeding everywhere, with a round lodged in his leg, König finally finds a place to hide and take care of his injury while he waits for extraction. The only problem is the person he finds already there.
Hard circumstance, soft König.
Bookmarked by Stinky_Horowitz
16 Feb 2026
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Something like Belonging by DarkCaustic
Fandoms: Captain America (Movies), Captain America - All Media Types
29 Jan 2020
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Summary
Before Steve presented, he’d always assumed he would present as an omega. Since his first puberty, it had been a shameful, secret fantasy of his – to be held down and knotted hard by an alpha. And then when he did present (much to his mortification) as an alpha, the fantasy didn’t go away – instead it got more pronounced and intense. He always assumed he was broken, somehow, but the serum didn’t fix it—so it must not need to be fixed.
In the future, same-presentation pairings are more accepted, and he decides to explore his desires with a professional alpha dom, the Winter Soldier.
But they both struggle to keep their feelings to the playroom.
Bookmarked by Stinky_Horowitz
16 Feb 2026
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Summary
He could voice his greatest fears, weaknesses, or most secret dreams at the drop of a hat; all the things he’s never put into words before and keeps tucked close between his ribs.
What kind of ammunition is his son going to ask for? What will he make Bruce admit, knowing he is incapable of a lie?
Series
- Part 3 of Batfamily loves each other
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 4,220
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Collections:
- 12
- Comments:
- 378
- Kudos:
- 6,272
- Bookmarks:
- 1,254
- Hits:
- 40,450
Bookmarked by Stinky_Horowitz
08 Feb 2026
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Don't Look too Closely (all the angles are oblique) by shaenie
Fandom Iron Man (Movies), Marvel Avengers Movies Universe, Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (2012), The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
15 Jun 2015
- Words:
- 161,917
- Works:
- 6
- Bookmarks:
- 1,896
Bookmarked by Stinky_Horowitz
07 Feb 2026
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Summary
“Captain America represents the values of our country. The recent allegations about his sexuality are specious and designed to smear an American icon. Captain Rogers regularly attends the Church of Saint Agnes and invites the citizens of New York to attend worship with him this Sunday, April 14th. God bless America.”
Nobody was ever going to know. Steve would be a good husband, a good father, and he’d never give in to sin and touch another man.
But Steve makes two mistakes, one after the other: he leaves two words out of the Pledge of Allegiance, and he doesn’t notice a camera flash among the strobe lights of a dark club, because he’s dancing with his clumsy hands on Tony’s hips.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 40,185
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Collections:
- 1
- Comments:
- 187
- Kudos:
- 1,421
- Bookmarks:
- 562
- Hits:
- 29,353
Bookmarked by Stinky_Horowitz
06 Feb 2026
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Summary
Tony Stark lives a double life; he's secretly the supervillain known as Iron Man. But his loving husband Steve has a few secrets of his own, as Tony is about to discover.
This was based off a prompt from the C-IM Secret Santa.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 24,118
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Comments:
- 358
- Kudos:
- 7,271
- Bookmarks:
- 2,591
- Hits:
- 191,796
Bookmarked by Stinky_Horowitz
05 Feb 2026
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Summary
Before Ikaris of the Eternals died along with the rest of his people, he gave Tony Stark the power of the Uni-Mind, a power Tony used in order to help stop the Horde from destroying the universe.
The Magistrati are the Living Tribunal's enforcers of Universal Law. They are the judges, jurors, and advocates of the universe. And Tony’s Uni-Mind ability has been judged too dangerous: he must be put to death.
Steve thinks he has a solution. To save Tony's life, he must undergo an intimate version of the Uni-Mind known as the Gann Josin, a type of bonding that creates a mental union between two people...and makes them lifelong soulmates.
Well, it's probably not the oddest way to save someone's life, but it's certainly not going to be easy. Especially when Tony seems determined that the bond should be broken, as soon as possible.
(Set just after War of the Realms #4.)
Bookmarked by Stinky_Horowitz
01 Feb 2026
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Summary
Where it was Nick Fury's idea, but he didn't mean it like that
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 6,007
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Comments:
- 153
- Kudos:
- 13,600
- Bookmarks:
- 2,176
- Hits:
- 196,439
Bookmarked by Stinky_Horowitz
01 Feb 2026
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Summary
Look, some mornings you wake up and little green men are invading New York City; some mornings you wake up and you can hear Captain America's voice in your head. Tony has been an Avenger long enough that he saves his freakout for important things.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 8,642
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Collections:
- 1
- Comments:
- 261
- Kudos:
- 10,565
- Bookmarks:
- 2,188
- Hits:
- 168,590
Bookmarked by Stinky_Horowitz
01 Feb 2026
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Summary
"The only future in which you have a hope of defeating Thanos is one where the Avengers remain whole and undivided. Do you understand? No matter what else happens, it’s imperative that the Avengers stay together."
“Wait. What the fuck are the Avengers?”
Or: In an alternate timeline where the Avengers never formed, Steve and Tony need a crash course in team bonding. Stephen Strange just had to take that literally.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 23,443
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Collections:
- 1
- Comments:
- 61
- Kudos:
- 836
- Bookmarks:
- 224
- Hits:
- 8,680
Bookmarked by Stinky_Horowitz
31 Jan 2026
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the things we invent when we are scared by nanasekei for janonny
Fandoms: Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
21 Mar 2019
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Summary
Steve is trapped in a dream machine, programmed to make him believe he's living his happiest fantasy.
Tony goes inside to wake him up, but what he finds is a lot more complicated than he expected.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 18,305
- Chapters:
- 2/2
- Collections:
- 1
- Comments:
- 391
- Kudos:
- 3,760
- Bookmarks:
- 987
- Hits:
- 35,167
Bookmarked by Stinky_Horowitz
31 Jan 2026
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Summary
Where Steve doesn’t quite die, ends up stranded in the multiverse and would quite like to know how the hell so many versions of himself ended up sleeping with Tony Stark. Well, that’s going to make things a tad awkward when he gets home.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 67,134
- Chapters:
- 7/7
- Collections:
- 3
- Comments:
- 457
- Kudos:
- 7,006
- Bookmarks:
- 2,223
- Hits:
- 106,853
Bookmarked by Stinky_Horowitz
30 Jan 2026
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tear these old walls down by susiecarter for Fluffypanda, erawebuilt, hollyandvice (hiasobi_writes), t0nystark1er, betheflame, ishipallthings, Lacrimula_Falsa, only_more_love, camydi, silvergreen98
Fandoms: Marvel Cinematic Universe, Iron Man (Movies), Captain America (Movies), The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
06 Mar 2021
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Summary
Steve didn't like Tony Stark.
Stark probably didn't like Steve, either. They'd gotten off on the wrong foot, and that was putting it mildly.
And having to pretend to be a civilian Stark was dating, as cover for trying to save Stark's life while Iron Man was busy with a SHIELD mission, obviously wasn't going to help.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 57,041
- Chapters:
- 5/5
- Collections:
- 3
- Comments:
- 332
- Kudos:
- 1,626
- Bookmarks:
- 472
- Hits:
- 22,092
Bookmarked by Stinky_Horowitz
29 Jan 2026
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Tony and the Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Day by gogglor
Fandoms: Marvel Cinematic Universe
20 Oct 2021
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Summary
Tony Stark wakes up with his hair on fire. Everything goes downhill from there.
Bookmarked by Stinky_Horowitz
29 Jan 2026
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Summary
Recently Tony has been communicating over the internet with a charming new friend. Two-way anonymity has its advantages, allowing Tony to express himself more earnestly than he usually would otherwise. It’s safe, too, because what are the chances that Tony and BD01432 know each other in real life? Very low, that’s for sure.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 25,253
- Chapters:
- 9/9
- Collections:
- 1
- Comments:
- 408
- Kudos:
- 1,217
- Bookmarks:
- 240
- Hits:
- 15,601
Bookmarked by Stinky_Horowitz
24 Jan 2026
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When Our Day Comes by thepartyresponsible
Fandoms: Marvel Cinematic Universe, Marvel, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
27 May 2018
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Summary
“Damn, Rogers,” Tony says, “did Lady Liberty teach you to kiss like that?"
Steve blinks at him. He’s always been distracting. He has always been the kind of beautiful that can break necks when he walks into a room. But this close, the view is downright devastating. Tony’s eyes drop to Steve’s mouth, red and wet, and he almost forgets how breathing works.
“Well,” Steve says, after a beat, “she is French.”
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 6,613
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Collections:
- 1
- Comments:
- 286
- Kudos:
- 4,859
- Bookmarks:
- 1,016
- Hits:
- 37,302
Bookmarked by Stinky_Horowitz
24 Jan 2026
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Summary
The fic where Wei Wuxian is adopted by the Dafan Mountain Wens instead of the Yunmeng Jiang.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 138,813
- Chapters:
- 30/30
- Comments:
- 1,476
- Kudos:
- 5,448
- Bookmarks:
- 1,791
- Hits:
- 134,604
Bookmarked by Stinky_Horowitz
13 Jan 2026