TeacupCryptids



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    Shane Hollander is the number two overall NHL draft pick and a newly minted Montreal Voyageur. He’s also laser focused on his goals: being the best by beating the best. For him, this means a continued rivalry with number one draft pick—and new Ottawa Centaur—Ilya Rozanov. But when a problem with Rozanov’s immigration paperwork threatens his future in the NHL, what does that mean for Shane’s own career? He can’t risk finding out…so they get married. Just for immigration. A fast, practical, mutually beneficial solution.

    No one will ever suspect, let alone find out, that the NHL’s greatest rivals are secretly married. And there’s certainly no risk of feelings getting involved. They have a game plan.

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    28 Jan 2026

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    Rozanov cocked his head. “You speak Russian? Or just the curse words?”

    “Yes, I speak Russian,” he snapped, defensive and angry. He knew that it had been a mistake to even try to be friendly with Rozanov. “Why? Do I not look Russian to you?” He scoffed.

    “No, not really,” Rozanov said. Some of his teammates laughed, although they mostly looked surprised that Shane was speaking to them at all. Rozanov didn’t laugh, though. “Are you Russian?”

    “Go fuck yourself.”

    +++

    Despite an inauspicious start, when Russia’s Ilya Rozanov learns that Canada’s Shane Hollander is fluent in Russian at their first World Junior Championships tournament, it changes everything and sets them on a different course. Instead of being branded as rivals from the very beginning, Ilya and Shane start off as friends.

    And, after all, a little friendly rivalry never hurt anyone, did it?

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    28 Jan 2026

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    Ilya is plummeting to his death when he closes his eyes, heart full of regret.

    When he opens them in what feels like just a second later, he is standing outside a rink in Regina, Saskatchewan. There’s a banner on the building across the street:

    World Junior Hockey Championship 2009.

    What?

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    25 Jan 2026

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    “Hey,” the kid says, offering a gloved hand. “I’m Spider-Man.”

    Jason stares at the hand. “Get. Out of. My face.”

    “Cool, me too,” the kid says as if that made any fucking sense. “But also, there’s, like, a very large man with a weird Red Riding Hood thing going on pointing a gun at my face, so I’m calling this a teachable moment.”

    “I don’t point guns at faces,” Jason says. He absolutely does. “I point them at kneecaps.”

    The kid’s hand hovers in the air a second longer, then drops. He bounces on the balls of his feet, kinetic energy with a conscience. “So what’s your deal? Big red bucket, voice modulator set to ‘haunt my enemies,’ a fashionable assortment of weapons. Batman adjacent?”

    “Batman distant,” Jason says. “And the deal is: you’re in my territory.”

    “Oh. Sorry! I didn’t know territories were, like, a thing. Do you have a flag? I can make a flag. I’m very DIY when it comes to silk-based products.”

    Jason racks the pistol and holsters it because if he doesn’t, he’s going to do something unhelpful, like shoot this idiot charmingly dead.

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    27 Nov 2025

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    Gotham was built on a cave system. Batman has referenced a Bat Cave before. Tim is currently in the cave system. He is in the cave system that he entered from Drake Manor. Drake Manor is right next door to where Batman- The Bruce Wayne- lives. Holy Cavern, Batman! Tim had just accidentally wandered into the Bat Cave’s cave system.

    OR

    Tim, having found a weird hole after a storm, decides to go exploring ignoring the fact that This Is Gotham and They Probably Have Cursed Stuff Down There.

    Luckily, it was just a cave system that spans the entire Gotham underground. Unluckily, Tim is a very curious child.

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    17 Aug 2025

    Bookmarker's Notes

    One of the actual best things I have ever read. Will read until it's behind my eyelids, echoed in my mind during silence.