ambirch
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- Original Work (10)
- Ted Lasso (TV) (2)
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Summary
‘What the fuck?’ Roy heard Jamie hiss. ‘What did I do? Is he always like this?’
‘Dunno,’ Isaac said. ‘Never seen anyone ask him before.’
‘What?’ Jamie’s voice went high and incredulous.
‘Well, yeah, I think you might be the first fella round here to ask him,’ Colin said. ‘I didn’t think—um. Well, y’know.’
‘What? Didn’t think—?’ Jamie repeated. The disbelief was thicker now, shocked and sharp and serrated at the edges. ‘Fuckin’ what?’
Roy jerked on his jeans. He wanted up and out of the building as fast as humanly possible.
‘He’s your fucking captain.’ Jamie’s voice was furious. ‘Why the fuck ain’t anyone asked your fucking captain?’
‘Because he’s fuckin’ Roy Kent. Who the fuck has the balls to ask Roy Kent?’
‘Except for apparently you,’ Richard put in wryly, ‘but it seems you are either very stupid or you desire death.’
There was a little burst of tense laughter.
‘What the fuck. Are these twats takin’ the piss?’ Jamie turned on Roy. His voice was hoarse with outrage. ‘None of ’em’s fuckin’ asked you? Ever?’
Nobody was prepared for Jamie Tartt’s arrival at Richmond.
Especially not Roy Kent.
Series
- Part 1 of perks universe
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‘Fuuuuuuck,’ Aaron growled, nose smushed against Owen’s cheek as he bent over him, filling him, pinning him, taking him. ‘So fucking good, baby, smell so good, pussy’s so fucking perfect, never felt so good, holy fuck.’
Owen had to strangle the insane urge to laugh.
‘’Gon’ fill you up, need you, fuck you, baby, baby, gon’ come in you, ’kay? Make you feel good, baby, swear.’
It was just so much.
Aaron. Aaron. It was Aaron over him, inside him, having him like this.
Aaron panting words of praise into his ear like an awestruck supplicant at the altar.
Aaron, his brother, his best friend—well, had been, once. Before.
Aaron, the strong one, the brave one, the smiling confident happy one who always had all the answers. Aaron, who had everything, whose plans had all worked out.
Aaron, who was drunkenly fucking his twin brother without even knowing it.
It wasn’t the plan, the whole having-sex-with-his-brother thing. Owen had really just meant to survive the fucking evening.
It was kind of a shitter of a day.
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‘Will Jim have a plus one?’ Seth asked, frowning at something on the laptop screen.
‘Probably.’ Louis put a fresh mug of decaf oolong on the table. ‘We’ll be getting RSVPs.’
‘Yes, but we have to have a venue address before we can send the invites, so we do need an estimate,’ Seth grumbled, reaching for the mug. ‘Thank you,’ he added, accepting the little kiss Louis dropped onto his lips while he was passing.
‘Put in a plus one for him, then. He’s been talking my ear off about that woman he met at the New Years do. Maybe he’ll have his shit sorted out in the next eight months.’
Scooping Jasmine off the soft mat in front of the sofa, Louis swept her into the air and zoomed her around a little over his head to make her squeal, coming in to land against his shoulder and patting her back gently as she burbled. Her little fingers tugged at the collar of his t-shirt as she tried to put it in her mouth, drool soaking through the soft cotton. He huffed wryly as he headed back to the table.
When he glanced up, Seth was watching them, a distant, tender expression softening the creases around his grey-blue eyes.
Series
- Part 5 of double dealers
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‘You boys don’t mind if I sleep naked, right?’ Taylor laughed as he stripped off his baggy tank top. ‘I don’t know if we’ve ever just shared a bed before. I’m all aflutter, I don’t know the protocol.’
Seth laughed too. ‘You’ve slept over lots of times.’
‘Sure, but usually not without being so overpowered by lust we just couldn’t help falling into bed together,’ Taylor pointed out wryly, padding across the carpet and wrapping himself around Seth’s back. He rested his chin on Seth’s shoulder, cupping his bump with both hands. ‘It’s a little different when everyone can pretend it was an accident.’
Seth turned his head, frowning as he caught Taylor’s eye in the mirror. ‘We’ve never taken you to bed by accident, honey,’ he said. ‘And I don’t think we made our intentions very subtle, so I very much doubt you were caught unawares.’
Taylor huffed and kissed the corner of his mouth. ‘Mmm, true, I was thoroughly seduced.’
Series
- Part 4 of double dealers
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There on the tiled floor was his boy-cat, face down, with his naked rear raised up and away from John’s view.
John gazed at him.
‘What did you find?’ he sighed, and lowered himself to his knees.
The boy squirmed and blinked balefully at him from one yellow eye. It made a little mrrp sort of noise when he reached for it, flattening its ears and twitching its whiskers away from his touch, but it seemed too lethargic to shake him off.
‘You silly fool,’ John murmured, shuffling closer. It was a cramped space, not much room between the shelving on one side and the flour barrel on the other. ‘What’ve you been up to this time?’
There was nothing to be seen when he peeked at the creature’s hole. But it looked... puffy. Flushed.
‘What did you do?’ he asked again, lower, more full of worry.
The cat shifted on its knees and made a little whimpering sound.
‘Blast.’ John pressed two fingers to the soft, hot little hole and felt them go in easy as anything, felt how slick it was—Felt his fingertips brush something smooth and firm just inside.
Yes, there was definitely something in there. Gods only knew what or how he’d get this one out.
‘You wretched little nuisance,’ he sighed.
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Steff is exceedingly miserable after his numerous attempts to sabotage Blane & Andie's relationship fail. Cue self-destructive fallout, following which he ultimately learns a lesson in not being absolute garbage with the help of someone he was pretty sure he'd never cross paths with again.
Bookmarked by ambirch
06 Dec 2025
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Really enjoyed this. Dry and poignant handling with a lot of depth. I couldn't remember why I'd kept this tab open, but on second reading, now I definitely understand.
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“I would do it to you,” the tech repeats, voice just a shade darker. “If that’s what you wanted.”
Mitaka turns, and stares at him. There’s no way it’s this easy. “You would choke me.”
“Yeah,” the technician says. And then he extends his bare hand, palm up. “I told you,” he rumbles. “I’ve got big hands.”
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Bookmarked by ambirch
02 Dec 2025
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There's no good reason that Matt the Radar Technician should make for such compelling pornography. And yet, here we are.
Messy, gross vibes in the best possible sense. The kink is ugly, janky, and imperfect in a way that hits all the right buttons. Immaculate work. -
Premium Colombian Roast by orphan_account for heartbroken_girl, pseudoanalytics
Fandoms: Detroit: Become Human (Video Game)
01 Dec 2018
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RK pitches his voice louder, just enough to start getting stares: “Where do you get your premium Colombian roast, detective Reed?”
Gavin’s whole body seizes, hands flailing in an aborted attempt to slap themselves over RK’s mouth. “Shut up - shut your fucking mouth!” He hisses, furious and embarrassed.
*
Gavin Reed is a vegan gym rat and a coffee snob - somehow, RK900 is into that.
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- 29,818
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Bookmarked by ambirch
19 May 2025
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What a banger. Hell yes, buff bottom rights (after a little introspective soul-searching and confronting one's ingrained societal expectations).
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“Anyway, as fun as it’s been crying like a baby twice a week, I cancelled the rest of my sessions after the next one. I don’t have insurance and I’m basically over the hump, I think.”
“You’re.” Lawrence looks around desperately as if the furniture might agree with him. “It’s been two months, Adam. You’re not ‘over the hump’ in two months.”
Adam and Lawrence both lived. Here's how they get their shit together afterwards.
Series
- Part 1 of Strip the Paint
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 36,246
- Chapters:
- 6/6
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Bookmarked by ambirch
21 Apr 2025
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I know nothing about the Saw movies, and honestly I think that was the ideal way to read this. What a fantastic fic. Fascinating character-driven storytelling, gripping plot, overall so compelling. A must-read.
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Summary
“Do you want to play with me?” the redhead asked sweetly.
Colin’s heart hammered in his chest. He wondered if he’d slipped, back in the showers, and cracked his head on the tiles.
“Er,” he began, stupidly, because his mind was flooded with about a dozen different ways in which he dearly, dearly wanted to ‘play’ with him, but none of them could possibly be what Davy meant, because this was real life, not a fucking pornography.
***
But Colin was wrong, because this story IS a fucking pornography, and he has no idea what he's in for.
Bookmarked by ambirch
13 Feb 2025
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Bookmarker's Notes
Dark humour, interesting and fun sex scenes, and charmingly jagged edges. I liked this one a lot.
Bonus points for creative porn that doesn't rely on anal as the be-all, end-all of pleasure or intimacy.