1 - 20 of 52 Works by chronologicalimplosion
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Bill and Ted are going to get married.
With that option on the table, all of the alternatives--marrying separate babes and buying separate houses and raising separate kids--seem patently ridiculous. For a long time, Bill and Ted were Wyld Stallyns. Now that Wyld Stallyns has grown bigger and better, maybe they do need another way to mark each other as the most excellent thing in each other's lives.
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Bill and Ted find out that their older selves are married to each other, and are surprised to learn that it doesn't actually change anything.
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Jud walks along the side of the road for at least half an hour, dressed in yesterday's vestments, underprepared for the slowly-thawing October morning, before a familiar Mercedes pulls alongside him.
He's been praying the whole time, which is the only reason he doesn't immediately chuck a rock at one of the doubtless-expensive windows. He wonders if Blanc deduced the perfect moment to arrive somehow, through some calculus of emotion or some sort of fantastical hearing aid trained on his breath.
Maybe Jud is just that predictable. Just that mechanical. Just that controlled by the obvious tendencies of his human flesh.
"I was wondering if you might perhaps be in need of a ride back to your parish, or if you're still working on the god part of your forgiveness."
"God forgives." Jud sighs. "It's not up to us to work for it."
He reaches for the door handle, and carefully doesn't look at Blanc who doesn't quite hide his satisfaction.
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Jud Duplenticy doesn't really have any friends. Nobody he's not bound to by obligation. Maybe in another world, Benoit Blanc could fill the role. He certainly keeps coming back to visit. But for some reason, he refuses to open up to Father Jud.
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For the Stick Pins and the Cottons by chronologicalimplosion
Fandoms: Our Flag Means Death (TV)
07 Jul 2025
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After reuniting and without the life-or-death stakes of the British Navy breathing down their backs, Zheng and Archie grow tired of their respective partners, Oluwande and Jim, avoiding the topic of getting back together. They decide to take matters into their own hands, but their plan to lock the pair into a closet until they sort themselves out goes a bit awry.
It works better than anyone could possibly have expected, even if Jim is going to kill them.
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Illusen has some suspicions about who took The Grey Faerie's name, leaving her wingless. They have a shared reason to continually not-quite-talk about it.
Meanwhile, the object of their conflicted affections holds court.
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Who Knew Debate was a Contact Sport? by chronologicalimplosion
Fandoms: Spider-Man - All Media Types, Deadpool - All Media Types
20 May 2025
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During a late night stakeout, Deadpool starts a lighthearted argument about which of them would top and which would bottom. There is, of course, only one way to work this out. A wrestling match.
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Lighthouse (On the Shores of the River Styx) by chronologicalimplosion
Fandoms: Spider-Man - All Media Types, Deadpool - All Media Types
25 Sep 2024
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"Why, you applying for a gig as my nurse? May seem like a steady job, but I gotta warn you, the pay's shit."
Spidey put one hand on either side of Deadpool's face, turning them both to face each other again. Wade was acutely aware of just how thin the spandex was at the pads of Spider-Man's fingers. "I'm not applying for anything. You're my fucking problem. I'm going to take care of you."
Wade suddenly found it really hard to swallow.
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Wade keeps dying. Peter keeps being there when he wakes up. Emotions are high. Things escalate.
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"How do you want to feel, Patrick?"
He could feel his mouth going dry. "...About my clothes?"
David rolled his eyes. Rolled his whole body, really, as if he thought Patrick were being difficult on purpose. "In your clothes."
Patrick looked down at himself. "Uh... professional?"
David pulled a face at that, particularly aimed at Patrick's jeans. Doubtful, maybe, Patrick would call it.
"And capable," Patrick added, more certain, after a moment.
David bit down his reaction to that, nodding begrudgingly. "Well, you have... certainly succeeded at that. A regular... handyman in his Sunday best."
Series
- Part 4 of Edit Wars
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On and Off the Clock by chronologicalimplosion
Fandoms: Spider-Man - All Media Types, Deadpool - All Media Types
09 Aug 2024
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She couldn't see Peter's face anymore, but it was obvious he was still fidgeting.
At least he knew Deadpool was out of his league. Too many people made the mistake of misjudging the Merc With a Mouth.
Maybe she'd had a bit of a crush on Spider-Man since she was seventeen, sure. But Deadpool had surprised her, worming his own way into her heart much more recently using only quips in Spanish, a genuine concern for the minutia of her life, and an impeccable sense of timing comedic and otherwise.
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The one where Peter and Wade go on their first date to a restaurant that Deadpool and Spider-Man frequent, Peter can't quite stop freaking out, and Wade is having the best night of his life.
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Great Minds by chronologicalimplosion
Fandoms: Spider-Man - All Media Types, Deadpool - All Media Types
24 Jul 2024
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When Peter shouldered open the door, his apartment was just as hot and miserable as expected, but there was also a very unexpected red-clothed figure visible through the open door to his bedroom. What appeared to be his own mask was looking back at him.
From where he was crouched over the loose floorboard in Peter's bedroom.
The floorboard where he kept the Spider-Man suit.
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The one where Wade breaks back into the apartment he just moved out of to retrieve some sentimental objects and gets a bit more than he bargained for from the new tenant, who is a suspiciously good match in a fight.
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The Third Biggest Thing by chronologicalimplosion for Chocolatepot
Fandoms: Our Flag Means Death (TV)
09 Jan 2024
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Like most of Anne Bonny and Mary Read's serious conversations, the big one happened after one of them was already bleeding. Anne's long fingers were pressing a ripped section of her skirt into the cut on Mary's face, forceful and interested but still tender.
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Mind the tags! The injury is off-screen but I'm not kidding about the blood! -
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An extremely short (3 sentence) fic about Saraph the floating cat, daughter of Khoshekh, and her various homes.
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The night that it happens, Izzy can tell that it's different before anything actually goes wrong.
When they're pushing Stede around, he's moving like a body clenching every muscle. He's wound up for something, and it's only a matter of time before he snaps, whatever the fuck that looks like.
And then one of them gets in real close, and puts a hand on Stede's shoulder, and Iz can hear the screaming all the way from the other bank.
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The one where a young Israel Hands met his first mate Stede Bonnet from across the lake separating their schools and saw his way out in the rich, pliable, and desperately bullied kid.
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"What made it stick, the last time?", David asked, barely audible over Lady Gaga's soulful belting, but when Patrick opened his mouth to give the same response he always did (you), David screwed his eyes shut with a huff and added, "No, really, what got you all the way to Schitt's fucking Creek?"
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Stede is in the hospital after surgery and a little bit high on painkillers. That's it, that's the fic.
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Two months in, long enough for the pain to feel hollow behind the mask, Ed is bowled over mid-raid by a green couch in another captain's quarters. Just the sight of it, unexpected, tucked away in some stranger's sanctuary on the open seas. He has it hauled back to the Revenge, though he nearly has to tie Izzy to the mast to do it.
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Better as a Crew by chronologicalimplosion for Red_Parrot
Fandoms: Our Flag Means Death (TV)
20 Nov 2022
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Stede, resolved to make his way back to his one true love, finds a mysteriously-marooned Israel Hands, and the pair reluctantly team up to make their way back to The Revenge. Izzy faces many indignities. Stede... well, Stede doesn't seem too interested in gloating, at least.
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Stede is thinking about marriage vows, for the first time. Lighthouses are right out.
100 words of post-reunion gentlebeard fluff
Series
- Part 7 of 100 Word Concentrate
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"So what am I meant to call you, then?"
"What?"
"You seem to be planning on going into hiding. Assuming you've got a new name, to go with the new identity?"
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Running through the rain and laughing as they were, Ed didn't notice that they were approaching the cave until they were already inside it. And then it was too late.
Ed stood calcified by the door, suddenly too hot in his itchy, constricting human skin, full of too many bones and not enough muscle.
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The one where Ed is the Kraken, until he takes his skin off.
(Chapter 1 is Ed's POV, rated M and Chapter 2 is Stede's, rated E) -
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Summary
A too-loud crack and the splintering of wood immediately preceded the locked front door of the house banging open, which is, regrettably, probably the only reason Jim managed to lob a knife before they got a second shot off. The two-thirds of a bottle of rum meant there was basically no hope of it hitting home, though, and it didn't. The knife went sailing between the kohl-smudged face of the intruder and the door frame.
To Jim's surprise, the second shot wasn't immediate. Instead, Blackbeard's hand came up to the side of his definitely-not-bleeding head. "You cut my fucking hair!"