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sometimes the short end of the stick is the sharpest by cartwrong
Fandoms: Slow Horses (TV)
29 Dec 2024
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River doesn’t notice the knife until it slides into his side. There’s no pain at first, only the feeling that something isn’t right, that something cold is now inside his body where it shouldn’t be. The pain comes later.
Day 15 of whumptober - "I did good, right?"
Series
- Part 12 of Whumptober 2024
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 10,712
- Chapters:
- 2/2
- Collections:
- 1
- Comments:
- 40
- Kudos:
- 411
- Bookmarks:
- 51
- Hits:
- 4,482
Bookmarked by itslikeorange
17 Jan 2026
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Finally getting a physical body is great and all, but if it means Rimmer has to analyse his less-than-platonic feelings for his shipmate, maybe being able to touch is overrated.
(aka; rimmer tries to navigate the daily struggles of being a hard-light hologram while hopelessly pining for lister)
Bookmarked by itslikeorange
10 Jan 2026
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"I know what you mean about the sprites. They’re feistier than one of your Friday night curries.”
“Well, if you’re that bothered about it, Rimmer, there’s always something we could do,” Lister says with a shrug. He’s just biding his time, waiting for Rimmer to remove his fist from his mouth and-
“What something?” he asks, like he doesn’t want to know the answer.
Ah. There it is.
The AR discs have eroded after 3 million years, and the crew need some way to get their rocks off, right? Enter some crafty html coding and a heap of misunderstandings and you'll have a general idea what this fic is about.
Bookmarked by itslikeorange
09 Jan 2026
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Years into his tenure as Ace, Rimmer is struck one day by the agonising realisation that he doesn’t want to live this life anymore. He wants to go home, and he decides to do absolutely everything he can to make it there.
Written for the Smegtober prompt: Homesick
Series
- Part 16 of Smegtober 2023
Bookmarked by itslikeorange
09 Jan 2026
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Rimmer knew better than to ask. He had learnt his lesson from the psi-moon ordeal, found out the hard way why he ought not to question whether someone meant what they said.
But Rimmer was also a victim of his own ill-advised curiosity, and with memories of Lister’s recent moonlight speech still fresh in his mind, he knows he’s about to make the same smegging mistake again.Written for the Smegtober prompt: Argument
Series
- Part 15 of Smegtober 2023
Bookmarked by itslikeorange
09 Jan 2026
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After Rimmer returns from being Ace, he and Lister have a lot of catching up to do.
Bookmarked by itslikeorange
08 Jan 2026
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Lister has an epiphany three million and thirty-something years in the making.
Bookmarked by itslikeorange
07 Jan 2026
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When Rimmer starts glitching, he decided the best thing to do is to keep it a secret. This goes about as well as you'd expect. Left alone in the hologram projection suite, Rimmer begins to spiral and help comes in an unlikely form
Bookmarked by itslikeorange
06 Jan 2026
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Rimmer does his best to comfort an upset Kryten and learns something suprising about Kochanski and Frank (the washing machine) in the process.
Bookmarked by itslikeorange
06 Jan 2026
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Just when all seemed lost, Ace swooped in to save them from the dissolving Red Dwarf. Now, as the group recupriates in a nearby derelict, Lister begins to wonder if all is lost when it comes to Ace himself.
Bookmarked by itslikeorange
04 Jan 2026
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The summer after Harry's fourth year has become the worst of his life. The haunting memories of Cedric's death and Voldemort's revival were terrible enough on their own, but then came the strange visions of Death Eaters, the worsening pain in his scar, and the uncontrollable emotions that don't feel like his own. After fleeing Privet Drive, he finds himself stuck in an isolated cottage with his most hated professor: Severus Snape.
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Snape mentors Harry, no slash.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 109,544
- Chapters:
- 25/?
- Collections:
- 6
- Comments:
- 1,424
- Kudos:
- 7,663
- Bookmarks:
- 2,409
- Hits:
- 232,532
Bookmarked by itslikeorange
28 Nov 2025
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"If Sherlock's brain is a hard drive, then these attacks are an electro-magnetic pulse." Sherlock Holmes does not do anything by half, not even a migraine. It falls to John to witness one of the greatest minds he has ever known tear itself apart, and he must do his best to help Sherlock pick up the pieces.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 67,719
- Chapters:
- 13/13
- Collections:
- 17
- Comments:
- 1,641
- Kudos:
- 11,421
- Bookmarks:
- 4,102
- Hits:
- 304,799
Bookmarked by itslikeorange
26 Jun 2025
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Summary
King's Cross Station looks a little different, the second time.
So does the riverbank. So does Sirius, so do the dementors - Hell, even his patronus is different.
Snape, however, is infuriatingly unchanged.- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 54,341
- Chapters:
- 18/?
- Collections:
- 10
- Comments:
- 1,320
- Kudos:
- 5,589
- Bookmarks:
- 1,880
- Hits:
- 101,036
Bookmarked by itslikeorange
26 May 2025
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What happens when Effie Trinket calls out Peeta Mellark’s name at the reaping for the 75th Hunger Games and Haymitch Abernathy steps up to take his place? How will it change the Quarter Quell as we know it? How will it affect Haymitch and Effie’s relationship and can Haymitch do enough to keep Katniss alive in the arena?
Bookmarked by itslikeorange
11 May 2025
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A modern magical comedy very loosely based on Ugly Betty. Publishing king Uther Pendragon has had enough of his playboy son seducing every female assistant he has ever had so he hires Merlin, a man he is sure Arthur will never sleep with. Merlin would be more insulted by this fact if he wasn’t so busy trying to juggle his duties, save Arthur's skin from ruthless fashionistas and keep his magic a secret at the same time. Expect appearances by oil-lathered knights, the occasional mad druid, a perverted Will and a mental caretaker who lives in the basement and keeps harping on about coins and destiny.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 112,645
- Chapters:
- 2/2
- Collections:
- 5
- Comments:
- 812
- Kudos:
- 14,127
- Bookmarks:
- 5,209
- Hits:
- 368,009
Bookmarked by itslikeorange
07 Apr 2025
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When I Didn't Know The Answer, I Found It In Your Eyes by ironfamjam for muguetmuse
Fandoms: Merlin (TV)
26 Mar 2023
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Summary
“It was never supposed to end like this. You were both meant for such happier things.”
“I was always meant to be a tragedy.” Arthur disagrees.
“Dearest darling, you are the king of kings, this will not be your end.”
With Arthur's death comes a single chance to go back to the beginning and save everyone he's ever loved. Seeing home in Merlin's eyes and a hope for a better world in Morgana's, Arthur knows what he must do.
Only bringing magic back to Camelot will prevent the future he knows is coming from happening, but in his way is the only mountain he's never been able to climb; his father won't change for anyone, not even for his son.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 36,625
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Collections:
- 1
- Comments:
- 249
- Kudos:
- 4,518
- Bookmarks:
- 1,324
- Hits:
- 47,433
Bookmarked by itslikeorange
31 Mar 2025
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Summary
Cornelius Sigan deals Arthur a heavy blow, but fails to knock him unconscious for long.
Unable to move or help defend his kingdom, Arthur is forced to bear witness to Merlin's heroics...and treason.
"Better to serve a good man, than rule with an evil one!"
Arthur's discovery will change destiny itself as he refuses to fall into tragedy or lose the one person who matters most.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 17,285
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Collections:
- 9
- Comments:
- 161
- Kudos:
- 8,451
- Bookmarks:
- 1,730
- Hits:
- 82,427
Bookmarked by itslikeorange
29 Mar 2025
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Summary
To lose a manservant once may be regarded as a misfortune; to lose him twice looks like carelessness. When Merlin vanishes in the mines of Kemeray, Arthur's search for him uncovers decades of secrets and betrayals. But the sudden appearance of a baby white dragon bodes well for Albion, for Merlin and Arthur, and for the land that they will build together.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 30,095
- Chapters:
- 5/5
- Collections:
- 1
- Comments:
- 382
- Kudos:
- 12,402
- Bookmarks:
- 3,219
- Hits:
- 196,923
Bookmarked by itslikeorange
28 Feb 2025
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Summary
When a new position is made in the royal household to oversee the servants, Arthur didn’t think much of it. It was only days later when he noticed the mysterious injuries appearing on frightened servants that the prince decided to go undercover and to find out what is going on.
Meanwhile, Merlin thinks the newest servant is a mess.
Or
Arthur learns what it is like to be a servant and learns some interesting thing about his own servant.
Series
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 81,657
- Chapters:
- 11/11
- Comments:
- 810
- Kudos:
- 8,067
- Bookmarks:
- 1,678
- Hits:
- 129,986
Bookmarked by itslikeorange
24 Feb 2025
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Summary
Arthur watched, unable to fully comprehend the events that had seemingly just crashed and burned in front of him rather than calmly unfold. He turned to look at the other knights who only shrugged as Mordred sank lower into his seat, lips pressed into a pout as he picked at his food.
“I…” He started and paused, taking a moment to gather his thoughts “Why do you want Merlin to like you so badly?” He finally sighed. Mordred stopped playing with his food, glancing up before looking at the door the servant in question had exited through
“Because he’s Merlin.” He said as if that provided any sort of answer.
Arthur didn’t deserve this. He did his best to be a good person. Maybe this was some kind of divine intervention saying he needed to up his charity game. He needed to give the lower town a bigger tax break or something. Perhaps ride out and save three more damsels than usual.
"He has a point," Gwaine piped up as he inhaled another mead "He is Merlin."
Or
Merlin hates Mordred and Mordred is determined to put an end to that. Arthur is convinced that this child is after his man.- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 23,846
- Chapters:
- 3/3
- Comments:
- 416
- Kudos:
- 15,719
- Bookmarks:
- 3,175
- Hits:
- 147,589
Bookmarked by itslikeorange
20 Feb 2025