simch84
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“You bought us gnomish drugs?” Astarion gasped.
It was all slotting together. The wretched truth. His poor, sweet, innocent husband was swindled by a gang of fraudulent artificers. Earnestly seeking something to ease his pain and walking away with an experimental tincture that was—
Suddenly, the strange cat video from earlier seemed much less like a silly internet distraction and much more like an omen. Or perhaps a premonition, lighting the shared future of Astarion and his husband as they hurtled forward together into the terrifying unknown.
Gale makes a miscalculation with his homemade edibles, Astarion experiences the wonders of THC for the first time, and federal tax dollars are wasted.
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A year after the events in "Bison," the boys are once again in the Great Plains. Gale really wants to tell Astarion he loves him.
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- Part 3 of Montana
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There is a storm. It knocks two sticks loose from a tree.
Series
- Part 2 of Crack Oneshots
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As Gale climbs the Netherbrainstem to detonate his orb, he contemplates love, Magic, and his reasons for self-sacrifice.
Written as a free verse poem.
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Gale the Rabbit walks in the wood,
Wrapped tightly in his reddened hood.
Astarion the Fox will watch and wait,
Observing keenly what might sate
His growing hunger, His growing lust:
The Rabbit wrapped in cloak of rust.
But this Bunny will fight back,
And in his fight will learn he lacks
The will to fight his own dark needs,
His own twisted proclivities.Astarion interrupts Gale on his way to visit The Witch of the Woods. Cue fighting, chasing, and fucking.
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The decision to attend Waterdeep Comic Con during the Midwinter holiday had been intentional. Astarion had assumed that everyone – his overbearing (if well-meaning) friends, his manager, and his psychotic ex – would leave him alone so that he could work in peace. He’d been wrong. On the heels of one of the worst scandals of his acting career, Astarion Ancunin is saved by an unlikely hero: his driver.
⊹¤.•⨳•.*⊹¤.•⨳•.*⊹¤.•⨳•.*⊹¤.•⨳•.*⊹¤.•⨳•.*
The Driver hefted a set of black, leather gloves from atop his legs. His fingers were long and tanned. Astarion couldn’t help but watch as he donned them, giving the tight fabric a flex until the leather stretched over his knuckles. Then he tilted his head to the left, touching an ear to each of his shoulders, before pushing out his chest. His fitted suit strained against the motion, and Astarion heard a few joints pop.
“Do you happen to have your seatbelt on, sir?” the driver asked.
Astarion’s mouth, for some reason, watered.
Bookmarked by simch84
17 Sep 2025
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“Did you bring me here to make me sad, too? Because it’s working.”
“No, Astarion,” Gale sighs, finally tearing his gaze away from the aurora and meeting Astarion’s own eyes. “It’s because you’re the only person in camp who knows what it’s like to die.”
*
Having heard Mystra's orders, Gale comes to terms with his imminent death. He asks Astarion for one final favour, on his last night alive.
A kiss.
Bookmarked by simch84
27 Jul 2025
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“You have to kiss Gale,” Shadowheart tells Halsin, glittering with mischief. “It’s the rules.”
Shadowheart and Astarion start a game. It escalates quickly.
- Language:
- English
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- 41,075
- Chapters:
- 7/7
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- 1
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- 489
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Bookmarked by simch84
10 Jul 2025
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But … But that would mean …
That would mean everything might have been real. The villagers might have been right. And Gale …
Gale might have just found a fae in his backyard.After his divorce, Gale moves to the countryside in search of a quiet life.
He finds more than he bargained for.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 104,494
- Chapters:
- 24/24
- Comments:
- 1,293
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- 1,027
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- 241
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Bookmarked by simch84
29 Jun 2025
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What if the reason Gale's father isn't around is because he was one of Astarion's victims?
Bookmarked by simch84
21 Jun 2025