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Who The Fuck Diagnosed You? Helen Keller? by dryasspussybabe
Fandoms: Dispatch (Video Game)
13 Jan 2026
Tags
Summary
pretty self-explanatory.
Bookmarked by squizard
24 Mar 2026
Bookmarker's Notes
10/10 Wow, this was written so much better than I expected based on the title. It's so descriptive and emotional. I like.
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Summary
Robert and Beef approach the SDN Building for their normal workday after a long and stressful weekend. Unfortunately, Robert had a run-in with a drunk super the night before and is now a cat.
He's going to make this everyone's problem.
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Summary
trev @trevorlee
⭑⭑⭑⭑⭑ 4 hours ago
called sdn when i got hit by a car and they flew me to the hospital. guy stayed on the phone with me the whole time thank u robert my goatSuperhero Dispatch Network (Owner)
Hi Trevor, we are happy to hear that you managed to reach the hospital safely with the help of our heroes! We will pass along your thanks to the specific dispatcher who handled your call. Have a nice day!or: what the people of los angeles have to say about sdn.
Series
- Part 1 of already alright (already alright)
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Summary
Robert Robertson cannot die. When a bullet enters his frontal lobe and exits through his occipital, it takes roughly twenty-eight minutes for him to wake up in a puddle of his own blood—the team in hysterics.
Funnily enough, the chromosome mutation that means he cannot feel pain, fatigue, hunger, or fear is a genetic issue entirely unrelated to the generation-skipping powers.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 12,297
- Chapters:
- 2/?
- Collections:
- 1
- Comments:
- 114
- Kudos:
- 593
- Bookmarks:
- 138
- Hits:
- 5,222
Bookmarked by squizard
19 Mar 2026
Bookmarker's Notes
10/10 *rubs hands together like a plotting housefly*
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Summary
Flustering A Stone Wall
SUMMARY:
Z-Team's dispatcher has been described, both by them and others, as a 'perpetually dead inside motherfucker'. He never seems to get bashful, or worked up, at any of their goddamn flirtations.Maybe they've just been going about it the wrong way
[Or: different times Z-Team has accidentally flustered Robert through displays of care] -
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Summary
@r.robertsonIII tweets with a photo and a caption
*A selfie of him standing outside, holding Beef in his other arm. He smiles at the camera, hair slightly tousled and the first button of his SDN work shirt undone.*
I was informed of my new fame and decided to finally make an account. Glad to see that my work behind a desk doesn’t go unrecognised. This is Beef :)
@velocipastor retweets with caption
holy fuck they really do have the wrong guy behind the desk
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 4,297
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Collections:
- 1
- Comments:
- 66
- Kudos:
- 1,662
- Bookmarks:
- 307
- Hits:
- 6,540
Bookmarked by squizard
17 Mar 2026
Bookmarker's Notes
10/10 I love it when social media is in unsocial media
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Tags
Summary
It made sense that Robert associated touch with something bad and given the way he made comments about his father being the ‘tough love’ type, Flambae was starting to doubt that much of the touch Robert received had ever been positive. How many times had someone laid their hands on Robert and didn’t mean him harm?
Or,
Robert is scared of being touched. Flambae tries to make it a little less scary.
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Summary
“She didn’t tell me she was sending the hot nurse.” His voice is low, raspy in a way Robert is sure is supposed to be seductive but sounds a little more like he swallowed sandpaper. He grins up crookedly, eyes shamelessly dragging over the column of Robert’s throat. “Not that I’m complaining.”
Robert blinks. Once. Twice.
He… he wasn’t expecting that.
Or,
Flambae is concussed and thinks Robert’s his boyfriend. Shenanigans ensue.
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Summary
Beef has been Robert's loyal companion for a long time, but he has so much more love to share. So when Robert gets a job that allows Beef to be around new people, of course the little dog is going to make friends with everyone.
Basically, little shorts that center around Beef's interactions with the Z-Team
(tags will be added as needed)
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Summary
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“Better?” He asked once he was all changed. Robert weakly nodded and leaned against the couch again. He whined. “What’s the matter?” Chase asked, taking a seat on Robert’s coffee table.
Robert just seemed to mutter and grumble, but his face was pained. His voice was croaky and breathy. Chase hummed in thought, leaning forward and brushing hair from Robert’s eyes. He still looked pale and weak.
“Maybe you are sick. You’re really pale.” He thought out loud, getting a disapproving groan from Robert. Chase’s hand moved from brushing hair from his eyes to be on the back of his forehead. “You don’t feel that warm.” He noticed how Robert seemed to be tilting his head in the direction of Chase’s hand.
Chase turned to the end of the couch and lay down a pillow that was there, before placing a hand on Robert’s shoulder. “Let’s get you layin’ down, kid.”
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robert sickfic because i cannot stand this goddamn man being happy ever
Series
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Summary
"Robert. You've been hit with a power that causes persistent heightened anxiety." Blazer cuts to the chase, keeping her voice carefully calm and measured.
There's a reason why she's there with the amulet and why visitors were restricted to only her and Chase.
Robert, on a good day outside the suit, was a force to be reckoned with. She doesn't want to think about what he's capable of when he's operating on the constant heightened panic of a cornered animal.
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Or the fic where I give Robert a seven day long panic attack and Turbo Anxiety and force Flambae to lock him in his apartment to keep an eye on him wrow.
Bookmarked by squizard
15 Mar 2026
Bookmarker's Notes
Wet, scared alley cat Robert Robertson The Third, you have my heart.
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Summary
There just had to be a jewelry store next door, that just had to have some desirable piece on display that made it the perfect target for an early morning heist...and it just had to be next to a fucking daycare.
Did Robert know the guy had a gun? Yes. But what he didn't know was that the bastard had gotten in a lucky shot.
Fuck his incredibly high pain tolerance.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 20,187
- Chapters:
- 11/?
- Comments:
- 1,010
- Kudos:
- 5,607
- Bookmarks:
- 1,165
- Hits:
- 81,319
Bookmarked by squizard
15 Mar 2026
Bookmarker's Notes
Stupid reckless Robert Robertson The Third my beloved.
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Summary
The Z-Team’s main source of fun, Robert’s love life.
Or
A collection of Short stories about Waterboy/Robert Robinson.
- Words:
- 55,529
- Works:
- 11
- Bookmarks:
- 169
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Summary
Things have been good— besides some lingering regret over not killing Shroud and the careful consolidating of corporatizing Mecha Man with dispatch work, Robert’s been alright. Hell, he even bought a bed recently.
Things spiral pretty quickly when he’s a victim of some sort of bizarro mugging and gets turned into a cat. Surprisingly, it doesn’t even rank in the top ten worst experiences of his life.
Series
- Part 1 of I Think You’re the Cat’s Meow
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 63,630
- Chapters:
- 11/11
- Collections:
- 2
- Comments:
- 532
- Kudos:
- 1,992
- Bookmarks:
- 410
- Hits:
- 23,438
Bookmarked by squizard
14 Mar 2026
Bookmarker's Notes
10/10 I love Waterboy! Pawbert for the win! Also the author's notes were super funny, they seem like a super silly person. /pos
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Summary
“It’s not a real kid, Chase.”
Chase is technically underage, he’s a year away from being able to drink but the bartender didn’t bother to check his ID. Chase has always looked a little older than he was, it works in his favor now.
Nobody at a hero bar like this would assume he was so young.
“How the fuck do you think that?” Chase asks, spits. His hands still shake with the memory of it. The beer in his hand shakes with the tremors of his hands. “How the fuck do you do it?”
Mechaman sighs, deep, disappointed. He leans back, taking his whiskey with him.
The rest of the Brave Brigade was downstairs, drinking in victory, dancing with the other heroes, celebrating.
“It’s the Astral Pulse.”
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 41,384
- Chapters:
- 3/3
- Comments:
- 254
- Kudos:
- 2,324
- Bookmarks:
- 699
- Hits:
- 14,144
Bookmarked by squizard
14 Mar 2026
Bookmarker's Notes
10/10 This is so epic. I love the idea of Robert being the Astral Pulse, he's so fleshed out and developed. So is Sonar and a bunch of the other characters. Yippee!
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Summary
Robert knows it's going to be a bad day before he even opens his eyes. He shouldn't be awake yet, the alarm on his phone hasn't gone off. It's the pain that woke Robert.
or:
Despite it being a bad pain day, Robert decides to go to work like normal. When he inevitably crashes, Z-Team's there to look out for him. Flambae's powers especially come in handy.Series
- Part 1 of Z-Team Polycule
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to fill in a fractured puzzle with it's missing pieces (and fall in love along the way) by lavendernlilac, mochiwrites
Fandoms: Hermitcraft SMP
31 May 2025
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Summary
Something in his voice fades, drops into something quieter and somber, leaking with honey coated gratitude lined with a bittersweet remorse taste. Hearing it from him, even getting these small pieces of him, sends reality crashing back into her. Suddenly their conversation feels… real. Very real. It’s leading them into uncharted territory of identities, and Grian gets the feeling she should stop him here, before Hotguy ends up giving away enough to accidentally tell her who he is. They aren’t friends, more like acquaintances. And they will continue to be acquaintances for as long as they’re working together and hiding behind their own masks.
She’s content to keep it that way, because it’s better. Grian doubts Hotguy would even like her as much as Ariana. And–what is she saying, there’s no other option, no need for deliberation, nothing to consider. She and Hotguy are coworkers, nothing more.
A series of short moments between Hotguy and Grian, the experience of companionship, and how they fall in love.
Series
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Bluanfah Dances in Thy Heart Eternal as Ewigeliebe’s Melting Ice Enriches Geduldh by TokiMirage
Fandoms: 本好きの下剋上 - 香月美夜 | Honzuki no Gekokujou | Ascendance of a Bookworm Series - Kazuki Miya, 本好きの下剋上 | Honzuki no Gekokujou | Ascendance of a Bookworm (Anime)
27 Oct 2022
Tags
Summary
This story is a Male POV F/M romance with non-traditional elements.
Imagine Myne with decades of experience under her belt surviving a war torn future by the skin of her teeth. Then, the Gods and Goddesses work together to save magic itself and return her to the past to save Jurgenschmidt.
Ehrenfest has no idea what’s in store when a survivor with PTSD and broken magic appears on the day that Myne Crushed High Priest Ferdinand.
A romance at times cute and tragic drives this story as our Heroine tries to reconcile her past-present self with a Ferdinand who remembers none of their shared history and died young. This is a story told not by the time traveller herself, but by her future husband.
This story now has spoilers from Part 5, beginning in chapter 6 especially.
WARNING(new readers Sept5/22): This story is not canon compliant. Please read the tags. I am moderating the commenting community. Please be respectful. I happily accept polite constructive criticism, canon assistance by information sharing, and ideas for future chapters from all commenters. I have no tolerance for rude words, however.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 136,302
- Chapters:
- 57/?
- Comments:
- 2,192
- Kudos:
- 1,377
- Bookmarks:
- 217
- Hits:
- 40,466
Bookmarked by squizard
06 Mar 2026
Bookmarker's Notes
Was not expecting to find Ferdinand get romanced by a dragon, but it is what it is. /pos
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Schutzaria's Changing Winds by Dacelo
Fandoms: 本好きの下剋上 - 香月美夜 | Honzuki no Gekokujou | Ascendance of a Bookworm Series - Kazuki Miya
25 Mar 2026
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Summary
Rozemyne has spent a long time in Yurgenschmidt, nearly thirteen years at this point. Things weren't so easy when she first woke up here, reborn after being crushed under a pile of her beloved books, when she was so sickly that she thought she was going to die. But she's made a good life for herself among the commoners, she started going to school and improved her health, she opened a printing workshop with Benno, and she even managed to snag a job as an assistant librarian! Everything's going great, and now, her greatest desire is to get better for good. And get lots and lots of books, of course.
And that's when she meets him.
Series
- Part 1 of Schutzaria's Changing Winds
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 647,082
- Chapters:
- 169/?
- Comments:
- 2,010
- Kudos:
- 2,535
- Bookmarks:
- 189
- Hits:
- 106,083
Bookmarked by squizard
25 Feb 2026
Bookmarker's Notes
10/10 This is the best. Absolutely and undeniable the best Ascendance of a Bookworm fic I have ever read. I love it so much.
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The Devil of Ehrenfest by raki_suta
Fandoms: 本好きの下剋上 - 香月美夜 | Honzuki no Gekokujou | Ascendance of a Bookworm Series - Kazuki Miya
21 Apr 2025
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Summary
What if, instead of as a commoner, Urano reincarnated as Rozemyne, daughter of the Knight Commander Karstedt?
Rozemyne still yearns for books above all else; being an archnoble certainly helps push things along. However, living as a Leisegang at the height of Veronica's power is still an unpleasant affair. With her lofty goals, how will Rozemyne maneuver around noble society to achieve them?
Elvira's education is sure to come in handy...