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As Aventurine digested the words, Ratio looked at him for a reaction, “These… bugs, they’re trying mate but they keep releasing a chemical that's killing them.”
“Their own pheromones. Yes.”
“You were glowing because…”
Ratio’s frown deepened, an embarrassed expression trying to take over his face. But, Ratio managed to keep his composer nonetheless.
“I… tripped.”
Or; Aventurine drives Dr. Ratio up the mountainside for his expedition to study the effects of aphrodisiac production from an invasive species--that causes things to go south, very quickly.
Bookmarked by Dudus
19 Jan 2026
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Evil X and Xisuma are identical twins, even down to the matching birthmark on their faces in the shape of an X.
And unfortunately, Evil X was sick of it.
Evil X got more sick of it when even when he was redeemed, the hermits couldn't seem to think of him as anything but an extension of Xisuma.
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Or-The five times a Hermit called Evil X Xisuma, and the one time someone got it right,
Bookmarked by Dudus
15 Jan 2026
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Diverging Future by BunnyoftheDarknessVoid
Fandom 3rd Life | Last Life SMP Series, Empires SMP, Evolution SMP, Hermitcraft SMP, Minecraft (Video Game)
17 Oct 2025
- Words:
- 266,739
- Works:
- 16
- Bookmarks:
- 60
Bookmarked by Dudus
08 Jan 2026
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Mumbo is trying to work on his base. Evil Xisuma is on the server for a visit. They decide they want to bother Mumbo. Verbal shenanigans ensue.
Aka:
I saw someone headcanon that Xisuma is legally Mumbo’s dad since Mumbo was under 18 when he joined Hermitcraft, and Xisuma was admin at the time. I then thought about how that would make Evil Xisuma his uncle. Probably. At the very least that’s how EX sees it.Bookmarked by Dudus
08 Jan 2026
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After Tango bans the saturated soups and honey bottles from the lobby of his decked out game, Xisuma, Cub, Stress, Grian, and Scar start mixing soups and potions for the pure curiosity of it! Too many combinations and techniques that make each batch of concoctions unique leads to endless exploration, and it seems like with every twist they put on a recipe, the entire thing flips around. More dangerous soups and potions like weakness or poison are handled with care, and everything is going smoothly... until they try to be a little more efficient with their materials and time, and accidentally get a little more careless.
It's a problem of too many cooks in the kitchen, and unfortunately, there are 2 types of grey colored base potions known. Xisuma mixes the wrong one with his experiment.
Xisuma drinks a Bad Soup. He blacks out.
"And uh, one more question..." Xisuma asked. "Who are you?"
Very bad indeed.
Bookmarked by Dudus
03 Jan 2026
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It’s April first! The hermits are having fun, playing pranks, when a message comes out from Xisuma that the only rule for the day is to not prank Ex. A few Hermits make the decision to ignore that message. It’s just one day of the year; how bad can it be?
Or:
Xisuma: Don’t prank Ex today, and if you see him, be nice
Hermits: No
Series
- Part 3 of April Days Bring May Fools
Bookmarked by Dudus
27 Dec 2025
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His gut rolls. It's not a cramp, not sharp or constant like the void's aches– no, that's not it, he knows.
It's something else. Something new, something he's never felt or even heard about, something that shouldn't be Ex's. It isn't his choice, he doesn't deserve to feel this way– but he does, and his mind questions, and his gut still rolls. It's a foreign feeling. There isn't anything wrong with it, really, but– still. It doesn't feel right. He hasn't had this feeling before, and that scares him more then he'd like to admit.
He doesn't like it.
or: three times a hermit reaches out to ex, and one time ex reaches out to a hermit.
Series
- Part 2 of ut sponte mea (PLEASE DON'T READ)
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 3,417
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Collections:
- 1
- Comments:
- 12
- Kudos:
- 197
- Bookmarks:
- 17
- Hits:
- 1,669
Bookmarked by Dudus
27 Dec 2025
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Xisuma takes 6 of the hermits out to the main hub to go shopping for things that they need. It goes better than he expected!
Series
- Part 8 of TWB MCC Event (Pink Parrots!)
- Part 5 of MCC Event: Grid Runners
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 1,638
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Collections:
- 2
- Comments:
- 2
- Kudos:
- 256
- Bookmarks:
- 17
- Hits:
- 2,027
Bookmarked by Dudus
22 Dec 2025
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...are meant to go awry, if just a little less. Damn Xisuma's pathetic, pitiful, abominable self-care.
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Ex visits his brother for both business and pleasure. It ends up all business, no pleasure, too much parrots, and somehow reminding Hermits what an off-switch is with the power of implied violence.Xisuma wasn't supposed to thwart his plans before his evil plans could even be thwarted!
Series
- Part 4 of Hermitcraft - a Bee's writings
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 6,943
- Chapters:
- 2/2
- Collections:
- 1
- Comments:
- 18
- Kudos:
- 214
- Bookmarks:
- 34
- Hits:
- 1,846
Bookmarked by Dudus
21 Dec 2025
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Xisuma has...not always been the best at making good decisions. Which was fine! It was. He knew where the line between doing things for others and forgetting to do things for yourself was. Besides, he was Xisuma! The admin of the best players in existence! He loves them, but he would never get so caught up in caring for them that he would forget to care for himself, right?
Right?
Bookmarked by Dudus
19 Dec 2025
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What do you do when you find a child abandoned in the Main Hub? Take them home of course! by BunnyoftheDarknessVoid
Fandoms: Hermitcraft SMP
23 Apr 2023
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The Main Hub is no place for a child, so why has Keralis just found a tiny child panicking behind the Hermitcraft portal?
Bookmarked by Dudus
17 Dec 2025
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Evil X was not a Hermit.
He was a stain on their lives, a problem for them to solve, a nuisance to everyone who knew him.
Honestly, the world would be better off if he just stayed in the Void forever,
So why, he asked himself, had he broken back into Hermitcraft again?
(Part of a series but can be read as a standalone fic)
Series
- Part 22 of i can be the one you call
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 13,758
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Collections:
- 1
- Comments:
- 188
- Kudos:
- 1,781
- Bookmarks:
- 83
- Hits:
- 18,608
Bookmarked by Dudus
16 Dec 2025
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Long ago Xisuma had introduced the idea of a code phrase to the Hermits. It was a simple concept: sometimes bad things happened, even in conflicts meant for fun between friends, so if anyone spoke the simple phrase, it meant that something serious had happened and everything else needed to be put on pause for the moment.
And while he could appreciate the code, xB himself had never thought he would have to use it.
Until an emergency meeting gone wrong showed him how mistaken he was.
Series
- Part 1 of i can be the one you call
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 2,601
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Collections:
- 4
- Comments:
- 89
- Kudos:
- 3,476
- Bookmarks:
- 179
- Hits:
- 36,849
Bookmarked by Dudus
15 Dec 2025
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Summary
... Is not denied. Something has broken on the server and now nobody can come – which is a problem, considering the Hermits are a horny bunch. The problem abruptly fixes itself during a meeting and the server kindly gives everyone a month's worth of delayed orgasms.
Bookmarked by Dudus
13 Dec 2025
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Summary
Varka tips his head. "What's with the flowers?" he asks. "Got a secret admirer?"
"No," Flins tells him. Another step forward, he holds them out. "They're for you."
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In which Flins tries to court Varka, and Varka takes way too long to realize it.Bookmarked by Dudus
08 Dec 2025
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missing mumbo hours by silver medalist (theyoungestanarchyserverinminecraft)
Fandoms: Hermitcraft SMP
29 Dec 2022
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Summary
Grian misses having Mumbo around. Luckily for him, Mumbo left some "traps" around that they'd planned to use together, and Grian can fill in the gaps.
Unluckily for him, machines can't hear him shouting, and also it has been designed to use together. But surely neither of those things can cause this to go horribly wrong... right?
Bookmarked by Dudus
02 Dec 2025
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Summary
It started out reasonably normal. Well as normal as being the admin of Hermitcraft day could go. Xisuma woke up, did normal morning things. Forgot to eat as he always did.
Because well there was other things to worry about.
Someone crashed through his window, scattering glass everywhere. The normals.
But this.
This wasn't normal.
Or Ex gets sick and Xisuma takes care of him
Series
- Part 2 of MCYT Title Swap
- Part 11 of Hermitcraft Oneshots
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 1,218
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Collections:
- 1
- Comments:
- 4
- Kudos:
- 76
- Bookmarks:
- 10
- Hits:
- 527
Bookmarked by Dudus
27 Nov 2025
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Summary
“I thought rain wasn't your thing.”
“It's not. I don't like it,” False admitted easily, “you don't like the rain either.”
“That's right."
~
Xisuma and False talk during a rainy dayBookmarked by Dudus
26 Nov 2025
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The Workers Have Left Their Stations by Crawlslikeaworm_onastring
Fandoms: Hermitcraft SMP
12 Oct 2024
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Summary
“Xisuma?”
“Yes, Joe?”
“How’s it like to be you?”
“How’s it like to be me?” Xisuma repeated. “What do you mean?”
“Like, to be the admin of the server.” Joe turned back to Xisuma. “What’s that like?”
Or, Joe and Xisuma have a conversation.
Series
- Part 12 of The Hermitage Chronicles - Full Series
- Part 1 of The Hermitage Chronicles - Side Stories
Bookmarked by Dudus
26 Nov 2025
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The art of taking care of others (and the unconventional methods that come with it) by MayuriPng
Fandoms: Hermitcraft SMP
03 Oct 2024
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Summary
Xisuma is always tired.
Well, in X’s humble opinion, the sleep deprivation came with being a good, competent admin. His job is to (quite literally) make sure all of the hermits were healthy, happy, and not scheming chaos, especially when it came to Grian. Thing is, that also meant updating the firewalls and communicators, making sure that the respawn mechanic was working flawlessly, fixing various bugs that conveniently appeared in the middle of the night…yeah, he should stop talking if he doesn't want others to worry about his health. Point is, he’d do anything to make sure that all his friends were physically and mentally okay.
Which included playing dirty.
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Or: 5 times Xisuma was a hypocrite while also being a worried dad, and one where people finally caught up on what was happening.Series
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 18,575
- Chapters:
- 6/6
- Collections:
- 4
- Comments:
- 117
- Kudos:
- 971
- Bookmarks:
- 141
- Hits:
- 13,172
Bookmarked by Dudus
26 Nov 2025