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Just Can't Get Enough by oatmilktruther for anathxmadevice
Fandoms: Our Flag Means Death (TV)
25 Jan 2026
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Summary
Ed should know better.
Does know better, did know better.
Did know, when him and Stede were kissing-turned-making-out-turned-not-so-dry-humping, and he said, "Oh, you poor, needy thing, you," when he gave Ed that particular smile, the one hiding the razor glint of his canines, when he said, "Do you need to come?"
Ed absofuckinglutely knew it was a trap, and probably not a fun one.
So of course he said yes.
Bookmarked by FPwoper
28 Jan 2026
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Just Can't Get Enough
oatmilktruther -
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So much for having it all together. He didn’t dare let Ed see him like this. The way everything slips by the wayside when he is too busy or focused elsewhere, that he can’t even do the goddamn dishes.
~
Sometimes, an act of true love is someone else doing the washing up.
Bookmarked by FPwoper
28 Jan 2026
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let my love keep you safe
watchtheflow -
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Stede's on his way! He's off to a fan convention for his favourite show, Our Kraken Loves Lighthouses
He might just meet his favourite fic author... -
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Our saltwater solution reduces gravity’s pull by over 80%, ensuring you'll effortlessly stay afloat! We keep the water at a steady 36 degrees—matching your skin’s temperature. This blend of weightlessness and warmth blurs the lines between your body and the water, as your nerves can’t tell where you end and the surrounding environment begins.
Weightlessness. Yeah. If anything’s gonna be Ed’s cure-all, it’s gotta be weightlessness, right?
Ed’s carried around weight for most of his life. He’s tired. His muscles ache. His joints are all ground down to dust.
Also - the word solution is right there. Which proves it.
This is it. This is Ed’s solution.
(Or: Ed's on a wellness journey for his fuckass brain. It's not going great. The guy at the float tank place is being way too nice about it. Please mind the tags!)
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Summary
1972. Ed Teach meets Stede Bonnet in a gay bar. He's the perfect man-- or he would be, if it weren't for one thing.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 143,012
- Chapters:
- 20/20
- Comments:
- 1,073
- Kudos:
- 242
- Bookmarks:
- 58
- Hits:
- 8,640
Bookmarked by FPwoper
07 Jan 2026
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The Jamestown Ferry
unfunpleasures -
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Summary
“So that’s a yes?”
“I guess? If—if you want to, that is.” There’s something else about him, something Ed can’t quite put his finger on. A sort of familiarity, though it doesn’t quite feel like the right word. Maybe it’s the accent. Maybe he’ll figure it out once they’re naked.
“D’you think I came all this way to not suck your dick?”
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 5,229
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Collections:
- 1
- Comments:
- 74
- Kudos:
- 477
- Bookmarks:
- 61
- Hits:
- 2,744
Bookmarked by FPwoper
06 Jan 2026
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Five-star review
bizarrelittlemew -
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Ed Teach is a brilliant engineer whose job is taking him halfway around the world for the next six months. Stede Bonnet is in the throes of a midlife crisis, just divorced from his wife and leaving his father's business. When a laundry delivery service mixes up their addresses and leads to a passionate night together, these two wonder if they can build a relationship together long-distance, or if their feelings for each other will come out in the wash.
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Summary
Five times Ed and Stede got off alone, and one time they got off together.
Or, Season 1 retold via the medium of wanks.
Bookmarked by FPwoper
26 Dec 2025
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When I think about you...
Temporal_discounting -
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Summary
The day they get married, the things he knows about Stede could fit on a post-it note.
First: he’s fucking rich.
Second: he needs a husband to stay that way.
Third: he is built like a brick shithouse. Pretty eyes, nice hair. Penchant for weird socks.
(Or: 5 times Ed doesn't tell his husband he loves him, and 1 time he does.)
Bookmarked by FPwoper
26 Dec 2025
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elbows on the counter
suchgreatheights -
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When Stede meets a startlingly well-dressed man at an otherwise rather tacky Sexy Santa Night at the bar, he quickly develops one objective: hold this man's attention by any means necessary. Even if it means pretending to be terrible at pool.
Despite Stede's ruse, Ed might just see him more clearly than anyone ever has before. And Stede might be getting some life-changing Christmas wishes granted tonight that he didn't even know he had.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 19,500
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Collections:
- 1
- Comments:
- 62
- Kudos:
- 299
- Bookmarks:
- 61
- Hits:
- 2,673
Bookmarked by FPwoper
23 Dec 2025
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The Break
CitrusSyndicate, suchgreatheights -
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Well, if that didn’t do something funny to Stede’s stomach! “Oh?” he asked, hoping it didn’t sound too intrigued, that it maybe landed just this side of propriety. “Well, then, maybe I should hire you as a consultant! I could write the first queer cowboy novel with a bit of veracity.”
Was he flirting? He figured he probably was. It hadn’t been an intentional choice, per se, but the heart wants what the heart wants, and Ed was incredibly attractive, and he seemed like the kind of man whose company Stede could really enjoy– the kind who might even enjoy his.
“I’d be willing to give it a look,” Ed said, and it sounded very much like he might be flirting, too. His chin had taken on a delightful downward tilt and his eyes looked downright mischievous. “You said you didn’t have plans tonight?”
_____
A 1970s Gentlebeard Christmas PWP for the 2025 Advint Calindah, December 22. -
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Summary
Stede's new island life is shaping up slowly but surely... and then he finds something strange in the water.
A selkie AU (...sort of)!
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 21,881
- Chapters:
- 6/6
- Collections:
- 1
- Comments:
- 111
- Kudos:
- 135
- Bookmarks:
- 27
- Hits:
- 1,349
Bookmarked by FPwoper
17 Dec 2025
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you otter know
ghostalservice -
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Ed's apartment is infested with spiders. Stede just wants to be near his kids. When they discover the apartment they both want is only available to couples, there's only one thing to do—pretend to be in a relationship to hoodwink their landlady into renting them the one-bedroom apartment. No one is normal about it.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 80,301
- Chapters:
- 12/12
- Collections:
- 2
- Comments:
- 1,408
- Kudos:
- 526
- Bookmarks:
- 103
- Hits:
- 12,277
Bookmarked by FPwoper
16 Dec 2025
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Sexy Lawyer Roommate
LyraTalise -
Were-Ever You Go, There You Are by Butter_Ball, petrichorca, veeagainst
Fandoms: Our Flag Means Death (TV)
04 Dec 2025
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Summary
Ed wonders why his new neighbor Stede keeps walking his dog at 3am. He gets kind of Jimmy Stewart in Vertigo about it but, like, more romantic.
Created for were-animal day for OFMD AUgust 2025.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 21,319
- Chapters:
- 5/5
- Collections:
- 1
- Comments:
- 298
- Kudos:
- 211
- Bookmarks:
- 32
- Hits:
- 2,750
Bookmarked by FPwoper
04 Dec 2025
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Were-Ever You Go, There You Are
Butter_Ball, petrichorca, veeagainst -
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Summary
Night after night, Ed lures men into an alleyway and takes them against the wall. Stede watches. He’s not proud of himself, but he can’t look away, unable to fight his growing obsession. He's never wanted anything so much in his life, but he's the one person Ed won't touch.
Bookmarked by FPwoper
04 Dec 2025
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Calling Your Name
LyraTalise -
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Summary
Edward Teach finds himself drawn into a new bar during an evening out alone, and sits down beside a handsome nerd named Stede Bonnet. Ed wears a cute AF skirt, Stede recites a poem, and the flirtation is absolutely excessive. They go home together, where Ed discovers that Stede has a kinky little secret. Boning obviously ensues.
Modern AU where Stede and Ed meet in an NYC-esque bar called the Revenge.
Bonus bi!Ed for you bisexual Ed truthers out there.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 14,704
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Collections:
- 1
- Comments:
- 344
- Kudos:
- 1,069
- Bookmarks:
- 290
- Hits:
- 7,618
Bookmarked by FPwoper
03 Dec 2025
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Skirts and Barbells
petrichorca -
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Summary
Ed has been cursed with snakes for hair for a century now. Mostly he spends his days moping in his caves and turning would-be heroes to stone. Until a prince of Sparta comes along that might just be Ed's match.
Series
- Part 11 of Smutty Gentlebeard not-quite-one shots
Bookmarked by FPwoper
03 Dec 2025
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still, i would not open
CartoonMayor -
The Hounds of Love by AppleTeeth, CuriosityRocks, self_induljennt
Fandoms: Our Flag Means Death (TV)
28 Nov 2025
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Summary
Following his return to a life of piracy, Stede is desperate to get back to Ed - so much so, he's willing to use magic offered by a dodgy man in a fetching outfit. The spell whisks him back to the Revenge, but things are odd - not least, everyone seems to want to pet him.
Can he get back with Ed when he's an adorable corgi, or will Ed use the crew's new companion as a means to finally get them to mutiny?
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 28,393
- Chapters:
- 13/13
- Collections:
- 1
- Comments:
- 138
- Kudos:
- 118
- Bookmarks:
- 24
- Hits:
- 923
Bookmarked by FPwoper
30 Nov 2025
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The Hounds of Love
AppleTeeth, CuriosityRocks, self_induljennt -
case #0171210: siren's call by florence_after_midnight, Hyaha
Fandoms: Our Flag Means Death (TV), The Magnus Archives (Podcast)
31 Oct 2025
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Summary
Statement of Edward Teach, regarding some behavioural changes in his husband.
Izzy was looking out at the sea, and this time, it looked… painful. His neck was bent at this angle—not unnatural, that wasn’t it, but it looked like the sort of position that’d give you a stiff neck if you kept it up for too long. And he’s in his fifties, so… His hands, too, were still hovering above the keyboard. Like he was frozen mid-motion. Like someone took a photo of him and he just stayed that way.
Looking back, I’m not sure he was even breathing.Bookmarked by FPwoper
29 Nov 2025
Bookmarker's Tags:
Bookmarker's Notes
case #0171210: siren's call
florence_after_midnight, Hyaha -
- Words:
- 86,960
- Works:
- 2
- Bookmarks:
- 5