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Harry’s Hilarities: A Harry Potter Joke Book by kmichee
Fandoms: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
08 Dec 2025
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Summary
What do you call a sleeping Norwegian Ridgeback?
Snorebert.Would Harry Potter make a good Quidditch Keeper?
No, but Oliver Wood.Why didn’t Draco Malfoy want to hear any of Hermione’s jokes?
He was afraid of the punchline.What did the Dementors name their musical group?
The Azka-Band.~
Just a collection of Harry Potter jokes I’ve written over the years.
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Summary
When Remus breaks up with his boyfriend of three years, Sirius offers to let him move back into his old bedroom in the flat they used to share. But when Remus unexpectedly accepts his suggestion to have rebound sex, Sirius must finally confront his long-held feelings for his friend — and whether Remus might reciprocate them.
or,
He extends one hand towards Remus, palm up, and waits.
Remus raises one eyebrow at him, his voice half teasing, half curious when he asks, “Are we dancing?”
Sirius’ smile is slow and deliberate. He matches Remus’ mocking tone. “I thought you didn’t dance.”
“I don’t,” Remus says, but he takes Sirius’ hand and lets himself be pulled upwards and into Sirius’ personal space. Only their hands are touching, but the few inches of air between them already feels like a conductor. “You’re not gonna say something about how dancing is a prelude to sex?”
Sirius hums and it draws Remus’ eyes to his mouth, down to his throat. “I don’t think wasting my lines on you is necessary anymore.”
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 135,698
- Chapters:
- 19/19
- Collections:
- 1
- Comments:
- 41
- Kudos:
- 164
- Bookmarks:
- 43
- Hits:
- 5,972
Bookmarked by kfics
11 Nov 2025
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Summary
Remus and Sirius have two things in common: their love for their godson and their mutual hatred for each other. But when suddenly, they're all Harry has left, they need to overcome their past differences to build a shared future. Bound by grief, memories and a promise they never expected to fulfill, they have to learn what it means to be a family.
~~~
Or, James and Lily die in a car accident shortly after Harry's first birthday and Remus and Sirius discover that their friends named them his joint guardians.
(Inspired by Life as we know it)
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 91,317
- Chapters:
- 30/30
- Comments:
- 350
- Kudos:
- 648
- Bookmarks:
- 172
- Hits:
- 17,761
Bookmarked by kfics
16 Oct 2025
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A Black Mass Over Highway Ninety by greenvlvetcouch (mpr3g)
Fandoms: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
13 Nov 2023
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Summary
Remus loves Sirius, and Sirius loves Remus.
That’s just the way it is—call it a law of the universe or just the way the world works—but after four years away, Remus gets a call from Sirius asking him if he remembers a promise they made freshman year.
And, of course, Remus remembers. How could he not?
Something like a love story from the summer of 1978, full of Southern Cuts and Old Style, shitty motel rooms, and questionable decisions. Poor excuse for poetry and late night dancing, a trip to Vegas, and one too many honeymoon suites.
Cherry pop rocks, too-tight pants, and a road trip across the U.S.
Series
- Part 2 of HIGHWAY NINETY
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 243,539
- Chapters:
- 21/21
- Collections:
- 3
- Comments:
- 1,111
- Kudos:
- 9,593
- Bookmarks:
- 4,485
- Hits:
- 659,066
Bookmarked by kfics
16 Sep 2025
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Summary
Sirius Black. 24. Captain of the Gryffindor Lions Hockey Team. Gay but not out, laser focused on his career and has not so much as kissed someone since joining the major league.
Remus Lupin. 26. Captain of the Gryffindor Phoenix Paralympic Hockey Team. Uses forearm crutches because of an accident that made him lose movement is his lower body and he has worked incredibly hard to get 25% of his movement back is his legs, but he needs the crutches to fully movement as he needs to. Gay. Out. But incredibly self doubting.
Bookmarked by kfics
18 Aug 2025
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Harry Potter and the Beasts of Magic: Year 1 by DarkDjinn2020
Fandoms: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling, Frith Chronicles - Shami Stovall, Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them (Movies)
02 Jun 2025
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Summary
The world of one Harry Potter shifted near his fourteenth birthday, with his negligent aunt turning out to be something he never expected... Come on an adventure of Familiars, Trials and Legacy.
Series
- Part 1 of Beasts of Magic
Bookmarked by kfics
21 Jun 2025
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Summary
“I believe more in patterns. There are certain equations that always lead back to the same loops—or seem to, anyway; infinity is vast. But sometimes it takes much longer to reach the loop, often without a clear reason.”
Remus squints. “Are you describing soulmates? With maths?”
“No. Well...” Sirius’s thumb massages his knuckles. “Maybe.”
“Do you think your husband is your soulmate?”
A long pause. When he turns, Sirius’s eyes are on the ceiling. “I think... that in another life, I would’ve really liked just cleaning his flat with him.”
***
Or, the wolfstar multiverse fic
Series
- Part 1 of the wolfstar multiverse
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 143,468
- Chapters:
- 22/22
- Comments:
- 1,400
- Kudos:
- 752
- Bookmarks:
- 288
- Hits:
- 26,090
Bookmarked by kfics
18 Jun 2025
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Wolfsbane by Mistress of the Stars (Surrender_the_stars), Surrender_the_stars
Fandoms: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
13 Oct 2025
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Summary
All it took was one night to change absolutely everything...
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'Wolfsbane' takes place following the events of The Prisoner of Azkaban. In this alternative reality, Remus and Sirius remained in frequent contact after the ending of the third book. Remus relies heavily on his oldest, and technically only, friend to navigate the world... and the full moon. Little does he know that Sirius Black is keeping a secret. One that will change their lives forever.
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{The only initial *major* break in the canon continuation (besides the obvious romantic dynamic) is that Remus was allowed to stay on as a professor at Hogwarts- he just couldn't teach Defense Against the Dark Arts. This is a creative version of canon events and follows the timeline in the books. I've tried to remain as loyal to the Harry Potter series as possible, but there are times when liberties had to be taken.}
[I absolutely cannot stand J.K. Rowling and denounce her transphobic views and homophobic slander. However, all credit for the series original characters belong to her. I just write this gay love story out of spite. Choke on it, Joanne. <3]
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 495,302
- Chapters:
- 100/100
- Comments:
- 497
- Kudos:
- 234
- Bookmarks:
- 79
- Hits:
- 17,874
Bookmarked by kfics
17 Jun 2025
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- Words:
- 162,609
- Works:
- 4
- Bookmarks:
- 27
Bookmarked by kfics
26 May 2025
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Summary
“They’re… chaos,” Remus said firmly. “And chaos is—”
“Rock and roll.”
He looked at Sirius sharply, and for once, matched his grin. “Yeah.”
“Maybe that’s my excuse then,” Sirius said. “I cause a bit of chaos now, and maybe one day, it’ll turn into rock and roll.”After losing his mother at age eleven, Remus has spent the better part of the last four years bouncing from school to school or else running around London and pretending as though he wasn't the kind of well-bred boy his father brought him up to be. Now, with his chances all run out, Remus is sent to Hawkings Independent School as a last-ditch effort to clean up his act. There he meets the very people who will set up the rest of his life, and is forced to confront the pieces of himself he'd long thought had been lost.
(genuinely not apologising for the slow-burn in this fic anymore. You've been warned <3)
Series
- Part 1 of The Cadence Opus
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 979,897
- Chapters:
- 108/108
- Collections:
- 31
- Comments:
- 13,397
- Kudos:
- 49,714
- Bookmarks:
- 14,035
- Hits:
- 4,307,390
Bookmarked by kfics
10 Apr 2025
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Summary
Before his third year of Hogwarts has even begun, Harry faces three whole weeks of unsupervised time in Diagon Alley. In that time he takes a trip to Gringotts - and that changes everything.
Burdened with the knowledge that Dumbledore has been blocking his family magic, and manipulating far more than he ever thought possible, Harry doesn't know who he can trust; but he knows he can't keep going that way. There's a whole world of lore and politics and history to catch up on, and the more he learns, the more Harry realises his true place in the world, and how much is being kept hidden from him. All the while, Dumbledore's twinkling eyes are constantly watching, and Harry can't let on how much he knows.
With help from unexpected places, Harry starts on a journey to end the war, and reshape the wizarding world. With how much he looks like James Potter, people have forgotten one important thing about him - he is Lily Evans' son, and she was one hell of a witch.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 746,386
- Chapters:
- 109/109
- Collections:
- 182
- Comments:
- 13,273
- Kudos:
- 82,817
- Bookmarks:
- 24,158
- Hits:
- 4,984,504
Bookmarked by kfics
10 Feb 2025
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Summary
A single flap of a Butterfly's wings can cause a thunderstorm on the other side of the world. Or, rather, a single interpretation of a phrase can save a whole lot of people, especially if that interpretation is made by a particularly stubborn house-elf.
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Arcturus Black III says the wrong thing (or maybe the right thing) to his house-elf, and this changes the future of his family and the Wizarding World.Bookmarked by kfics
07 Feb 2025
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Summary
1.
In a parallel reality, Sirius Black never chases after Peter Pettigrew the night the Potters are killed, but instead stays to take care of Harry. He ends up adopting him and raising him together with his partner Remus Lupin. A small change that has a ripple effect on Harry's personality and life.
(TIMELINE: PS - OoTP)
2 & 3.
When fighting off some Death Eaters in the Department of Mysteries, Harry accidentally falls through the doorway between the Time Room and the Space Room and is sent to a parallel universe, switching places with another Harry who grew up with muggles and was Sorted into Gryffindor instead of Slytherin.
(TIMELINE: OoTP)
4.
Back in his own world, Harry is about to start Sixth Year but is becoming increasingly aware of the up-coming war. At least he has his dads and Draco by his side.
(TIMELINE: The Half Blood Prince - Deathly Hallows Epilogue)
5.
A sneak peak into the parallel world to see the ripples created by the two Harrys swapping places.
(TIMELINE: HBP - DH)
6.
The final Epilogue.
7.
A Wolfstar companion fic.- Words:
- 767,512
- Works:
- 6
- Bookmarks:
- 1,065
Bookmarked by kfics
08 Dec 2024
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Summary
LONG fic charting the marauders' time at Hogwarts (and beyond) from Remus' PoV - diversion from canon in that Remus's father died and he was raised in a children's home, and is a bit rough around the edges. Otherwise canon-compliant.
1971 - 1995This IS a wolfstar fic, but incredibly slow burn. Literally years. Long build up but worth it I promise!
PLEASE DO NOT COPY TO WATTPAD. SERIOUSLY, WHY??
Spotify playlist:
https://open.spotify.com/user/htl2006/playlist/3z2NbLq2IVGG0NICBqsN2D?si=Liyl_JKJSx2RUqks3p50kg(Compiled by amazing reader, JustAnotherPerson)
DISCLAIMER: I do not support JK Rowling's disgusting transphobic views.
NOTE: I AM NO LONGER READING OR REPLYING TO COMMENTS ON THIS FIC
Series
- Part 1 of All the Young Dudes
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 526,969
- Chapters:
- 188/188
- Comments:
- 46,861
- Kudos:
- 294,918
- Bookmarks:
- 52,181
- Hits:
- 19,185,355
Bookmarked by kfics
06 Nov 2024
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Scorn and the Saint-Maker by beardo
Fandoms: Good Omens (TV), Good Omens - Neil Gaiman & Terry Pratchett
23 Dec 2025
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Summary
Doctor Crowley has turned truancy into an art form, lecturing only under sufferance. Doctor Fell has signed up for his undergraduate course and has no plans to let him slack off.
When a faculty member is found dead, our heroes start forming uneasy suspicions. What was the occult symbol drawn next to the body? Why does it feel like they’ve known each other forever? How is Crowley supposed to tell police that he thinks the murderer is a demon he summoned 35 years ago? And what about that statue that’s the spitting image of the victim?
It’s a murder mystery/romance/who-turned-them-human not-AU, set at a university in Scotland, with lots of (as-yet skippable) smut, ✨sexy maths✨ (reportedly), and one trans angel.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 208,797
- Chapters:
- 49/?
- Collections:
- 2
- Comments:
- 2,439
- Kudos:
- 329
- Bookmarks:
- 126
- Hits:
- 22,924
Bookmarked by kfics
23 Oct 2024
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Ineffable Beauty by GoodInspirationsAD
Fandoms: Good Omens (TV), Good Omens - Neil Gaiman & Terry Pratchett
22 Jan 2026
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Summary
Crowley is a model and Aziraphale is a bookshop owner and writer. Our boys have both gone through serious trauma (car accidents) that left them both permanently disabled, but that is just one facet of their lives and what ultimately brings them together one fateful day at the London Arts Museum. They struggle with insecurities at times, but find strength in each other and their support system, which includes Anathema (Crowley's devoted sister) and Newt (Aziraphale's full time aide). Love is in the air for these two wonderful people who strive to live life to the fullest. Also, love can be contagious as the Crowley siblings are irresistable!
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 190,971
- Chapters:
- 52/60
- Comments:
- 308
- Kudos:
- 339
- Bookmarks:
- 44
- Hits:
- 10,891
Bookmarked by kfics
23 Oct 2024
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Summary
Aziraphale is a kindergarten teacher in Marylebone who hates everything about himself and his life besides his job. Through thousands of self-deprecating and destructive relationships, along with a difficult transition, and getting paid next to nothing, Aziraphale wonders how much longer he'll be alive
Crowley is an enologist who runs an extremely successful wine business with their closest friend. They've been through thick and thin, now having to balance their mental and physical health with a five-year-old kid and supporting their friend's sibling. Though they're one of the richest people in all of the UK, Crowley is one bad experience away from ending it all.
Will the two meet and build a strong relationship, mutually solving their problems, or are they too broken to have any interpersonal relationships?
Who knows? It's never that simple.
FINISHED!!
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 160,323
- Chapters:
- 23/23
- Collections:
- 1
- Comments:
- 88
- Kudos:
- 151
- Bookmarks:
- 48
- Hits:
- 7,877
Bookmarked by kfics
19 Aug 2024
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Ecdyses (The Old Vines universe) by sevdrag (seventhe)
Fandom Good Omens (TV), Good Omens - Neil Gaiman & Terry Pratchett
01 Mar 2021
- Words:
- 199,774
- Works:
- 2
- Bookmarks:
- 47
Bookmarked by kfics
06 Aug 2024
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The Ineffable Meet-Cute by TheIneffableAuthor, WaitingToBeBroken
Fandom Good Omens (TV), Good Omens - Neil Gaiman & Terry Pratchett
20 Dec 2025
Summary
A collection of human AU stories, inspired by popular rom-com tropes.
- Words:
- 130,207
- Works:
- 16
- Bookmarks:
- 53
Bookmarked by kfics
01 Jun 2024
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Handle Me With Care: Of Bachelors and Booksellers by INeedABurnerAccountOkay
Fandoms: Good Omens (TV), Good Omens - Neil Gaiman & Terry Pratchett
01 Jul 2024
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Summary
Anthony Crowley is a workaholic who left London 25 years ago and never looked back.
Until he - somehow - finds himself as the new middle-aged bachelor in a dating show that he doesn’t really have any interest in taking part in.
For one, there’s the problem of the female suitors - not great for a man who’s always gravitated more towards men.
And then there’s the adorable, white-haired man who’s supposed to be his handler, but who makes him feel more than any of the women combined …
Series
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 79,468
- Chapters:
- 24/24
- Collections:
- 2
- Comments:
- 926
- Kudos:
- 904
- Bookmarks:
- 173
- Hits:
- 20,742
Bookmarked by kfics
17 Apr 2024