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The Library by MadameQuagmire
Fandoms: Taskmaster (UK TV) RPF, No More Jockeys (Web Series) RPF
11 Aug 2024
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Summary
Working in a library was supposed to be an easy, quiet job. But Greg's been saddled with this library, with these coworkers, and these patrons, and it's anything but quiet.
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Christmas in Taskerville by Illuminescence for jmurph773
Fandoms: Taskmaster (UK TV) RPF
21 Jun 2024
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New York Times bestselling romantasy, "Masked Fall" is headed for the big screen, and heart-throb leading man, Greg Davies, will play its bisexual protagonist. But when an aggressive interviewer asks just the wrong question, Greg says something he didn't mean to - and flees the ensuing media shit-storm to the tiny village of Taskerville.
Hiding behind a fake name, Greg meets a colourful cast of village characters - but none more-so than the gap-toothed, shabbily dressed Alex Horne, who rescues Greg from mishaps and misadventures. The influencers are circling, and Christmas is coming - will Greg keep hiding, or will he find a reason to throw off the mask and step into the light?“Thank you so much for taking the time to chat with us today about your upcoming film, Mr Davies! I know it’s very early in—”
“—Oh, fuck! Please, Tim, for a hundred and one reasons, call me Greg. I left Mr. Davies back in the classroom!”- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 54,569
- Chapters:
- 21/21
- Collections:
- 1
- Comments:
- 260
- Kudos:
- 131
- Bookmarks:
- 15
- Hits:
- 2,502
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Who Lives in a Pineapple Under the Sea? by Steely_Danielle for Knop_e
Fandoms: Taskmaster (UK TV) RPF
15 Mar 2025
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Summary
Alex Horne moves to a new kind of community that is under the ocean. There he meets his next-door neighbor and co-worker Greg, who is a bit of a grump. Will Alex win Greg over with his terrible puns and can-do attitude? Of course he will, but it's not going to be easy.
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Summary
Despite Alex's job as a handler, his day-to-day is mostly nothing too exciting... that is until he gets assigned a new agent: the fabled Taskmaster.
Just a silly little Handler/Secret agent AU
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 16,331
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Collections:
- 1
- Comments:
- 26
- Kudos:
- 213
- Bookmarks:
- 35
- Hits:
- 1,882
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Bookmark Notes:
fantastic fic, interesting and compelling the whole way through – i could barely bear to put my phone down to do basic human activities !! this is just really really good idk what else to say
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Key, Horne & Watson Florist by MadameQuagmire
Fandoms: No More Jockeys (Web Series) RPF, Taskmaster (UK TV) RPF
01 Feb 2022
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Three idiots run a well-loved neighborhood flower shop. They've managed to refrain from killing each other for years, until Tim starts writing poems for one of their regular customers.
Series
- Part 1 of Taskmarkets Trilogy
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Shoulda Somehow Realised What You Gotta Do by Anonymous for outofthatseminary
Fandoms: Taskmaster (UK TV) RPF, No More Jockeys (Web Series) RPF
03 Sep 2024
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It was, in an odd way, a bit like a task, where Alex couldn’t stop the timer until it had been completed. Or, more accurately, couldn’t move on from the day until it’d been completed. Which meant there was something he had to be missing, something he was meant to do but hadn’t.
Of course, if it had been a task, he’d’ve stopped the clock and let Greg deal with the inevitable disqualification in the studio. It was funnier that way, usually, though Alex did find he had a new appreciation for the contestants who thought they’d nailed it only to have to turn around and defend themselves.
It was certainly less funny in his circumstance.
Series
- Part 44 of Taskmaster Collection
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 11,091
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Collections:
- 1
- Comments:
- 28
- Kudos:
- 204
- Bookmarks:
- 17
- Hits:
- 1,648
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No More People Alex Has A Crush On by suggsygirl
Fandoms: Taskmaster (UK TV) RPF, No More Jockeys (Web Series) RPF
08 Dec 2024
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Summary
Will No More Jockeys bring Greg and Alex together...
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When You Are Old and Grey and Full of Sleep by Vamillepudding for neuerswaist
Fandoms: Taskmaster (UK TV) RPF, No More Jockeys (Web Series) RPF
28 Dec 2025
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Summary
“Shush. Shut up. I’m trying to be nice.”
Tim makes a face. “Don’t be.”
Alex doesn’t smile then, because that’s not who he is, but Tim can see that he wants to, because that’s who Tim is. “Alright,” he says. “I won’t, then.”
“Good,” Tim says, and before he can tack any joke onto that, Alex leans down and kisses him.
Or: The thing is, Tim knows for a fact that Alex has other places he could get it. So why does he keep coming back to Tim?
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The Missing Week. by Anonymous for PandaRoboto
Fandoms: No More Jockeys (Web Series) RPF, British Comedy RPF, He Used Thought As A Wife - Tim Key
03 Jul 2024
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Summary
JUNIPER: I feel like we’ve been through this before.
KEY: Been through what before?
JUNIPER: You need to tell the people what this is about.
KEY: Who the fuck are ‘the people’?
JUNIPER: The people who are going to read this.
KEY: Surely they’ll figure it out by reading it.
JUNIPER: Yes, but you’ve got to entice them into reading it.
KEY: I haven’t got to do anything, Em. Either they’ll read it or they won’t.
JUNIPER: I’m beginning to understand why your agent won’t ring you back.
KEY: What’s that supposed to mean?Series
- Part 35 of Taskmaster Collection
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 3,787
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Collections:
- 2
- Comments:
- 13
- Kudos:
- 25
- Bookmarks:
- 2
- Hits:
- 274
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Bookmark Collections:
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(If Doing it is Wrong) I Don't Wanna be Right by Anonymous for Illuminescence
Fandoms: Taskmaster (UK TV) RPF
19 May 2025
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Summary
“This isn’t funny,” Greg snapped. “My mum’s spent the last ten years swearing up, down and sideways that she didn’t want to date again, and now not only is she dating someone, but she’s dating Tim fucking Key?”
Alex tipped his head back against the headrest. “His middle name’s David, actually.”
“I swear to fucking Christ—”
Series
- Part 103 of Taskmaster Collection
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 7,673
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Collections:
- 1
- Comments:
- 37
- Kudos:
- 77
- Bookmarks:
- 5
- Hits:
- 649
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The Bird Feeder by Anonymous
Fandoms: Taskmaster (UK TV) RPF, No More Jockeys (Web Series) RPF
07 Jun 2025
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Summary
He glanced down at his phone. “What is this?”
“What’s it look like?” Alex asked, which, well, Tim supposed he could take a somewhat-educated guess from the bag of bird food.
But he certainly wasn’t going to give Alex the satisfaction.
Instead, he looked down at the tube and pulled a face. “Bit big for me to put my boy in, but I’ll give it a go.”
Series
- Part 107 of Taskmaster Collection
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 2,633
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Collections:
- 1
- Comments:
- 20
- Kudos:
- 66
- Bookmarks:
- 4
- Hits:
- 472
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Bookmark Notes:
Such a good tim and Alex work
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Summary
The Assistant writes the tasks. The Taskmaster judges the contestants. But how does the Taskmaster judge his Assistant?
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Summary
“Fine. Last Christmas—”
Tim sniggered. “Let me guess, you gave him your heart, and the very next day, he gave it away?”
But Alex just glanced at him and away again. “Yes.”
Tim’s smile faded. “Wait, really?”
Series
- Part 66 of Taskmaster Collection
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 3,823
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Collections:
- 1
- Comments:
- 42
- Kudos:
- 193
- Bookmarks:
- 17
- Hits:
- 1,308
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Taskmaster Collection by Anonymous
Fandom Bad Golf with Alex Horne and John Robins (Web Series), British Comedy RPF, He Used Thought As A Wife - Tim Key, No More Jockeys (Web Series) RPF, Taskmaster (Australia TV) RPF, Taskmaster (UK TV) RPF, The Cleaner (UK TV 2021)
25 Apr 2026
Summary
Since you can’t make a collection with an anonymous owner (and that'd give the game away a bit), this is the collection of all my TM fics.
All fics are wholly unrelated unless otherwise noted.
- Words:
- 658,564
- Works:
- 139
- Bookmarks:
- 21
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Lost in the Supermarket by exboyscout
Fandoms: Taskmaster (UK TV) RPF, British Comedy RPF
19 Mar 2026
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Summary
“It’s retail, mate. I’m not expecting perfection from some twenty-something dairy stocker. I know it’s not your passion—hell, it’s not mine either. It’s nobody’s, really, is it? You’d have to be properly mad, maybe even a bit masochistic, to actually enjoy it.”
Alex swallows, because he sometimes worries that he could very well be both of those things.
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Alex Horne: a longitudinal study.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 9,184
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Collections:
- 1
- Comments:
- 23
- Kudos:
- 272
- Bookmarks:
- 43
- Hits:
- 3,539
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you're a good friend by hornestoothgap (neuerswaist)
Fandoms: No More Jockeys (Web Series) RPF, Taskmaster (UK TV) RPF
24 Apr 2026
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Summary
It's quite odd to know something deep down in the marrow of his bones, and yet when it's suddenly a reality, it's gone. He still thinks something good slipped through his fingers, not just all at once but also equally over the course of decades.
Years of misunderstandings from both sides mar his past and make it impossible to look back without questioning every single second shared between him and Tim.
OR: Alex finds out that everyone, and Tim, thinks they are dating.
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The Mistletoe Incident by teatimeready
Fandoms: Taskmaster (UK TV) RPF, British Actor RPF, British Comedy RPF
30 Dec 2025
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Summary
"I can practically hear you thinking," Greg murmurs after a while. "Everything okay?"
Y/n turns on her side to face him, though in the dimness she can only make out the outline of his profile. "Just... processing today, I guess."
"Ah," Greg says. "You mean the mistletoe incident?"*Chapter two now added!*
Series
- Part 14 of Taskmaster Short Stories
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Pineapple Man by PandaRoboto
Fandoms: No More Jockeys (Web Series) RPF, British Comedy RPF
26 Jun 2022
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Summary
"You have coffee and pineapple all over your hands."
"You can clean it for me."
Finally, Tim had managed to lower the blinds, and as he turned around saying that "of course, Horne had pineapple juice on his hands, cuz the man was fingering a pineapple just moments ago" his jaw dropped. Alex's fingers were being sucked thoroughly by Mark. -
Operation Throuple! by teatimeready
Fandoms: Taskmaster (UK TV) RPF, British Comedy RPF, British Actor RPF, Australian Comedians RPF, Off Menu with Ed Gamble and James Acaster (Podcast)
05 Oct 2025
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Summary
The three men stare at me in silence for a moment.
"What?" I ask, confused by their expressions.
Ed shakes his head slowly. "Y/n, I say this with love and respect... but you are absolutely clueless when it comes to flirting."- Basically just a story of Ed, James, and Sam being the most supportive friends, and trying to get the reader some action.
Series
- Part 8 of Taskmaster Short Stories
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