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  1. Tags
    Summary

    “Don’t—don’t come any closer.” His hesitance betrays his nerves.

    An eyebrow is raised. “Or you’ll what?”

    Tommy gulps. “Kick your ass?”

    “Are you telling me or asking permission?” the man asks, and Tommy groans.

    “Dude, fuck off, just hurry up and get the murder thing over with!”

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    3,539
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Collections:
    1
    Comments:
    12
    Kudos:
    176
    Bookmarks:
    16
    Hits:
    1,127
  2. Tags
    Summary

    “Sources say you went looking for a friend,” Phil says, and Tommy’s heart lurches.

    A friend. That’s what they’re calling him. A friend. Tommy scowls at the table, and Phil’s voice is mockingly soft.

    “Can you tell me when your friend—”

    “Fuck off.”

    or: Tommy has been in hiding for six months to keep his brother's name clear. Phil drags him out of a graveyard at three in the morning, flashing a detective badge that seems a little dull.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    3,514
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Collections:
    1
    Comments:
    9
    Kudos:
    165
    Bookmarks:
    21
    Hits:
    965
  3. Tags
    Summary

    Something crash landed in his garden.

    “Are you dead?”

    Tommy grew up on an isolated island in a cult that turned him into a paranoid hermit. That is, until the third spring season on his own—when an otherworldly being is dropped right on his doorstep.

    or: 3 times Tommy makes a mistake, and 1 time he doesn’t.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    3,260
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Collections:
    1
    Comments:
    7
    Kudos:
    81
    Bookmarks:
    14
    Hits:
    588
  4. Tags
    Summary

    “Sorry I didn’t tell you.”

    “Just as long as you stop lettin’ him run your pockets,” Techno scolds, and Tommy grins, sharp as ever.

    “Fine by me. Big men never get scammed.”

    “Lesson one of many,” Techno drawls sarcastically.

    or: a young Tommy suffers repeated damage to his wings, and Technoblade spends his afternoon prying what happened out of him—and patching him up to boot.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    1,804
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Collections:
    1
    Comments:
    9
    Kudos:
    126
    Bookmarks:
    11
    Hits:
    865
  5. Tags
    Summary

    “Why?”

    For a split second, all Tommy wants is to be able to see his own breath in front of him again. He gets the sense this is his true hell—being haunted by these little moments forever, tormented by how badly he wants to live in the past. “Why? Techno, I told you why I came.” He frowns insecurely, arms crossed over his stomach. “What d’you mean, why?”

    “Why me?” Technoblade demands, and it tears Tommy apart to know that he’ll never have an answer for him.

    or: what if Tommy died in the prison for good—and only one person could see his ghost?

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    7,405
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Collections:
    1
    Comments:
    42
    Kudos:
    265
    Bookmarks:
    41
    Hits:
    1,403
  6. Tags
    Summary

    Tommy thinks, We’re so fucking back.

    Technoblade sends back, I’m goin’ to strangle you when you get home.

    or: a very tired The Blade must take Theseus—a.k.a. his supremely obnoxious roommate—into custody for his vigilante chicanery.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    2,128
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Collections:
    1
    Comments:
    34
    Kudos:
    186
    Bookmarks:
    25
    Hits:
    935
  7. Tags
    Summary

    "You said you analyze people when they fight," Tommy says thoughtfully. "So you know what I fight like, right?”

    Technoblade seems reluctant to answer. “Yes,” he says, and Tommy leans forward, eyes wide and curiously interrogative.

    “Well?”

    “You fight like you’re dying.”

    Tommy "Theseus" Soot is the seven-time champion of the seasonal tournament hosted in Hypixel's Arena. Each season, he hopes to be paired with his best friend Ranboo, but the two never seem to get lucky enough. This winter, Tommy hopes for an easy eighth win to make his win streak two years long. When he's paired with temperamental Technoblade, who looks like he could kill someone with a glance, things start to seem like they might go south. Quickly.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    137,501
    Chapters:
    9/10
    Collections:
    1
    Comments:
    759
    Kudos:
    1,543
    Bookmarks:
    376
    Hits:
    42,402
  8. Tags
    Summary

    One hand presses into Tommy's chest, his own hand, trying in vain to stop the ticking time bomb locked inside, and Techno says, “Theseus,” in a voice that suggests he knows more than he should, and everything in Tommy is coiled tightly, ready to spring. He’s in the house and the house is on fire and his skin is made of glass and all he can do is feel it melt.

    post-exile canon compliant

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    1,768
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Collections:
    2
    Comments:
    27
    Kudos:
    396
    Bookmarks:
    39
    Hits:
    3,232
  9. Tags
    Summary

    “Your move, kid,” Blood God says in his body, before disappearing entirely over the edge of the roof. Tommy hears another loud crackling zap of electricity after that, and then another, and realizes that the man is jumping from roof to roof, escaping between Tommy’s fingers before he even has the chance to act.

    He doesn’t want to panic. He shouldn’t panic. He’s still smart, and capable, and a hero.

    He’s totally panicking.

    or: hero Voltage and villain Blood God accidentally switch bodies in a scuffle involving a potion. Nothing goes well, because when does it ever?

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    31,241
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Collections:
    1
    Comments:
    195
    Kudos:
    2,286
    Bookmarks:
    548
    Hits:
    17,320
  10. Tags
    Summary

    “It’s a lot more interesting up here on the roof than it is in the ballroom," Technoblade says simply.

    Tommy bursts into laughter. When he realizes it’s not a joke, that Techno is looking at him with honesty in his eyes, Tommy cuts short and squints. “What? What are you talking about? There are dozens of people in there who are all more interesting than me.”

    “And I’ve been to hundreds of balls,” Technoblade replies wryly. “They don’t get any more interestin’ after the first fifty, I’ll be real with you.”

    or: the prince of the Antarctic Kingdom skips a ball to spend his time with a castle hand on the roof instead.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    7,062
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Collections:
    1
    Comments:
    61
    Kudos:
    802
    Bookmarks:
    124
    Hits:
    4,552
  11. Tags
    Summary

    A rumbling laugh is pulled from Technoblade’s chest, the first time Tommy has heard it. It’s strangely melodic for how intimidating he is at first glance. “This body is not human, if that’s what you’re wondering. I have animalistic traits.”

    “Uh-huh,” Tommy agrees, pulling his gaze back to Technoblade’s eyes. “This body?”

    “I can change my form at will. My true form may well send you into a catatonic state.”

    “Oh.” Tommy inspects him for a second. “Well. Don’t show me that, I guess. But this one’s not too bad.” 

    or: Tommy is yanked rudely from prison to serve as a sacrifice to bring an ancient god out of dormancy. Technoblade is not happy when he awakes and finds out they're planning to kill Tommy to complete the ritual.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    5,833
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Collections:
    1
    Comments:
    81
    Kudos:
    1,264
    Bookmarks:
    166
    Hits:
    6,365
  12. Tags
    Summary

    “Hey, dickwad,” Tommy begins, kicking at the man’s legs as the house comes back into view, and the bird hybrid sighs begrudgingly in acknowledgement. “What’s your name, anyway?”

    “It’s bad manners to ask someone’s name before offering your own,” is the reply he gets, and Tommy scoffs.

    “Yeah, yeah, we already went over my bad manners, no one gives a shit. Tell me your name or I’ll break your face.”

    There’s a quiet whistle, and the man’s wings— which Tommy has a great view of, being behind him— shuffle. “Name’s Technoblade,” he finally says, “and I’d like to see you try.”

    or: Homeless piglin hybrid Tommy expects an enemy out of the bird-man he steals a pie from. What he actually gets isn't quite what he's expecting.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    6,137
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Collections:
    1
    Comments:
    30
    Kudos:
    742
    Bookmarks:
    89
    Hits:
    5,407
  13. Tags
    Summary

    Techno gives him a look, one Tommy knows too well, one Tommy can recognize anywhere: you’re hiding something, and you’re doing a shitty job of it. “You need to come eat.”

    Tommy blinks. “Come eat?” he echoes lamely, and then scrambles to weary, aching feet, untangling himself from the cloak. “You got, like, food and shit?”

    Exile didn't treat him well. Techno's house will be better.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    3,832
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Collections:
    1
    Comments:
    32
    Kudos:
    1,077
    Bookmarks:
    125
    Hits:
    7,196
  14. Tags
    Summary

    “You want to hide,” Purpled replies, in disbelief. “You want to hide instead of being ready if they come in?”

    “We can hide and be ready,” Tommy argues, and Purpled grimaces.

    “Yeah, but then we’re backed into a corner.”

    “Well I’ll take that over facing them head on,” Tommy gripes, pushing past Purpled and into the hallway. “Wilbur’s sending us help anyway. So you can either be fuckin’ Mr. Lone Wolf and get your ass beat in the living room without me, or you can come with me and help me pick somewhere they won’t find us as fast.”

    or: Purpled and Tommy's guide to escaping the government.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    6,096
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Collections:
    1
    Comments:
    36
    Kudos:
    346
    Bookmarks:
    55
    Hits:
    2,647
  15. Tags
    Summary

    The suspense kills him. Finally, Techno draws in a breath, speaking. “What were you thinking, Tommy? What were you thinking?”

    His chest falls. Dizzy, Tommy lurches forward and back, white-knuckled as he grips the chair. “I was— I was,” he mutters breathlessly, and it’s then that his body chooses to give out on him, his knees buckling under him. Whether it’s from fatigue or fear, Tommy doesn’t know, but it elicits a displeased chuff from Techno, who takes two long strides to catch him before he can hit the floor.

    Decades ago, the age old god Technoblade made a promise to a companion to return a favor: protect his next of kin. Later, when this promise is threatened, Techno is forced to save Tommy Ingrahm's life by introducing him to godhood. Tommy is expected to be grateful and satisfied, but the boy has his own swarm of problems— and trying to combat them all on his own isn't working out so well.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    8,908
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Collections:
    1
    Comments:
    73
    Kudos:
    537
    Bookmarks:
    86
    Hits:
    3,972
  16. Tags
    Summary

    Techno stops, narrowing one eye and glancing to Phil. “He’s almost eighteen.”

    “No,” Phil replies firmly, a deep-set worry in his face. “Techno, no. They are children.”

    Techno exhales. “Well, we aren’t here for the runt,” he mutters, and Phil makes a wounded noise. “Just the King.”

    or: newly crowned after the death of his parents, child king Wilbur Soot thinks he's hiring a royal advisor and a captain of the guard. In reality, his council has contracted Phil Watson and Technoblade as assassins on the grounds that the entire kingdom is unhappy with Wilbur's rule. Throughout it all, Tommy wastes away in his room, some sort of mystery illness chipping away at his health.

    Wilbur and Tommy are none the wiser, and Techno and Phil have to make a decision.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    10,852
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Collections:
    1
    Comments:
    85
    Kudos:
    1,507
    Bookmarks:
    262
    Hits:
    9,353
  17. Tags
    Summary

    TommyInnit did not grow up coddled by two loving parents to show him what it was like to be human.

    He did not grow up with gently sang lullabies, and he did not grow up searching for the calm before the storm— no, Tommy was the storm. Tommy grew up with a knife tucked into his waistband, slop food, and the promise of money as a reward to simply surviving. He has fought his way to the top, and now, he reaps the benefits.

    When Technoblade left, things changed. Tommy was no longer half of the most powerful duo the Pit had ever seen. He was placed under strict watch and lock and key for two weeks until a new face appeared: Wilbur Soot, who claimed to want him as a running mate. When Tommy accepts, breathing fresh air for the first time in nearly a decade, the Pit will not release the grip it has on his ankles, dragging him back down every time he dares to close his eyes.

    He will never stop looking for the ones that did make him human.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    24,849
    Chapters:
    5/6
    Collections:
    1
    Comments:
    196
    Kudos:
    541
    Bookmarks:
    136
    Hits:
    8,551
  18. Tags
    Summary

    “How do you know I won’t have what you really need?” Tommy demands, lips quirking down, and the masked boy shoots him an annoyed look as Tubbo grumbles.

    “Because no normal guy carries a nuclear reactor around in his backpack,” he says, shortly, and Tommy blinks, proven wrong.

    “Oh.”

    or: Tommy, Tubbo, and Ranboo get absolutely Fucked Up by the apocalypse. smiles

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    15,000
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Collections:
    1
    Comments:
    61
    Kudos:
    439
    Bookmarks:
    96
    Hits:
    3,773
  19. Tags
    Summary

    “You aren’t fucking protecting me!” Tommy shouts. The car is heavy with jagged breaths, Wilbur catching his and Tommy finding his own, too. “You’re stifling me! You’re fucking killing me like a bug! I’m dying, Wilbur, I can’t live like this—”

    “Oh, please—”

    “Don’t pretend like you’re not happy to see me like this!” Tommy interrupts sharply, leaning forward in his seat and craning his neck to get a good look at him. “If you’re so fucking obsessed with controlling everything I do, you must like it when I’m fucking miserable, right?”

    or: When Phil dies and Techno moves across the country as a result, Wilbur and Tommy are the only ones left in the house. Tensions rise over the months, and after the nastiest fight they've had in ages, Tommy catches the first bus he can find out of the state to crash at Dream's house. After a handful of days, when the anger has subsided and he's ready to go home... his bus money has made a mysterious disappearance, and Tommy is officially stranded.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    9,455
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Collections:
    2
    Comments:
    142
    Kudos:
    1,134
    Bookmarks:
    200
    Hits:
    9,850
  20. Tags
    Summary

    "Fuck you,” Tommy all but cries out, chest exploding into fireworks of seething red. “Fuck you, Techno, you pretentious bitch, you fucking asshole. You come in here and— and start trying to tell me who I can and can’t be friends with? After fucking ignoring me for six months? You controlling fucking— I can talk to whoever I want!” A beat, a break, a bated breath. His voice does not waver. “And if it’s not you, that’s not my problem!”

    It backfires.

    or: Tommy and Techno have been talking less and less since Techno started college. In a subconscious attempt to fill the void, Tommy unwittingly makes good friends with one (1) Wilbur Soot— to which his actual brother does not take kindly.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    7,809
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Collections:
    3
    Comments:
    134
    Kudos:
    1,302
    Bookmarks:
    209
    Hits:
    11,405

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